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is the first year of relationship really the hardest?
| I feel like it's taking a toll on my body and my heart.
Is the first year of relationship really the most troublesome time?
| Well it's when you're both most exposed to each others bullshit without context or strong foundation of trust
| what's making you cry, what happened ?
I don't know if the first year is the hardest, but it's clearly the most important. After 4 years, the love attraction disappears and is replaced with attachment.
| try sex
| no, it's probably the easiest
| the hardest moment is usually the first three months. thats when youre still getting to know each other.
after that its the first year, thats when you know each others bullshit but you haven't seen your SO at their worst yet (or you at your worst). if you can get through that, then its usually smooth sailing.
| Honestly, I think that the first year is the *most likely* to be difficult, but mostly because it holds the most opportunities for conflict. You can have a relationship be relatively smooth for years, and then suddenly take a turn because of some issue. It's gonna happen eventually, it's just more likely to happen earlier. Just remember that every successful relationship has had conflicts, and they've all figured it out somehow.
| sounds like there is trouble at the root if the relationship if you feel that way
| A good relatioship is good at taking several hits by moments of stress and anger. It feels like you two are not even close enough. Making memories is important but without a place where to treasure them, they'd become ashes by the simple hit of a gentle wind.
| I do claim to you that you're unable to take an action on this matter and you're letting yourself in wait for "something good" to happen, but you're also letting yourself wide open from a confrontation with "something bad".
| Your weakness on not being able to act in order to understand the problem with yourself as primary scout makes me and anyone listening to be able to fault your for your ability to react against pain.
| You're not ready but you want to be carried toward an "happy ending".
You seek of "defining a line of［obliviously it's the hardest now that they've told me truth, I want to stop pain］" shows you unable to bear a tolerance. How silly to claim that the life would be just about having to work hard only once for when the montain appears before you.
| Also do not come with a "my feeling matters" thing. I've seen and done tragedies and nothing will ever matter as the society will keep moving regardless an individual's misery.
| I feel it's becoming harder an harder to even get close with anybody
| >>936291 I do believe that people are just getting to much closer to social platform instead of grinding on real life interactions. This makes someone more busy as they can usually hold more contacts so you're no more than another brick on the wall and it makes you less capable to talk as you may will lack the ability to keep a good touch with each others.
Other than that, I may'll need something better to bite in order to talk further in detail.
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| me and my gf are gonna celebrate our first anniversary this coming January, but we are very far from having the celebratory mood.
In the past several months, it has been nothing but a very intense roller coaster of emotions, with little moments of rest.
I have cried several times. There's not a month where I didn't cry