How misunderstood are you?

| Tell me something you think no one else will ever understand about you ( ´◡‿ゝ◡`)

| >>b31af6
That I can never cry again. I taught myself when I was very young to laugh in the face of pain, and to never let my eyes get wet. It sounds like a super power, being able to never cry, but now I'm not so sure if I forgot how to cry, or that the tears are just collecting like drops in a dam. How cany anyone ever understand this, when I myself can't tell if the tears are gone, or waiting for its chance to strike.

| I only want to be a woman while I'm on the internet! I'm a man in real life. I'm not trans.

| I'm optimist about the future, but everyone in the internet is a pessimist

| >>897661
I actually relate to that. I never once cried for years and years cause of a similar thing. I've only recently started learning how to cry again, and even still there's never tears. My eyes just get kinda wet and that's it, no matter how badly I want to. It sounds like a nice thing, but it's honestly painful.

| For me, probably that I'm alive simply cause of a sentence. I'm very mentally ill, extremely suicidal for years, still wanna commit from time to time, been in and out of mental institutions etc. People think I haven't ended it yet cause "I'm healed now" or some shit, but it's not the case. I just in a moment of desperation trying to talk my mentally ill best friend out of it promised not to do it myself as long as they promised me the same thing.

| I'm still fucked in the head and wanna die pretty often, but I just take promises extremely seriously. Idk why, but promises hold an extreme significance to me, like on some divine level shit, and I care more about keeping a promise than I do about what I personally want. So even though I've had my death planned out and am still very much depressed and shit, I can't, cause I promised not to that one time.
Nobody fully believes that shit though except for that friend.

| I didn't make drugs because it was haha, funny breaking bad LARPing, or because I wanted to get rich fast.
I cooked because the only other options were to sell my ass or hurt people directly. And cooking meant they wouldn't force hard drugs on you to keep you complaint. You don't just get to *exist* in this world.
I also share a lot of what >>607284 had said.

| When I joined the army I wanted to die in combat. But once I was over there, I just enjoyed going all out so much, and I walked through so many situations that should have killed me. It was like a fever dream of joy. I've never been as happy. As soon as I got back stateside though, I found myself wishing I'd died again.

I couldn't re-up, I care about my parents and I saw how much it seemed to be tearing up my mom, but I'm just miserable all the time now.

| >>897796
I've tried just about everything chasing that high. About the closest thing is constantly being on mdma and an EC stack. And that's not safe.

| >>607284 Huh that's actually really cool that you can relate. I think the solution to fix this pain is to find someone who can understand and encourage you, hold you for a bit, and then tell you that you can let it all out for them. Y'know, let you be a little weak around them.

Not to say we can't make progress ourselves, but until then I guess we just carry that weight a little longer.

| >>897976 meant to reply to>>897684

| I only make racial humor because I'm the only brown.

| >>897976
Mhm! What started opening me up and allowing me to at least have wet eyes was meeting and getting close to the best friend I mentioned in my thing lol
He let me, even encouraged me, to be vulnerable around him and let all walls down. So him + some effort on my own + going through my second puberty has opened me up enough to at least shed a singular tear when I need to cry.
Not multiple yet, but it's a start!
I hope it can get easier for you too in the future. It's nice

| >>897983
Reading this gives me hope :). That guy sounds awesome, and I'm glad to hear there's light at the end of this stoic tunnel. Till we meet again

| >>897997
He's the bestest person in the world <3
Make a thread when you've healed enough to let it out again! Tty again one day!

| elona

| i dont really intend to be mean or rude im just stupid and do not think before speaking

| >>898007 You got it.

| >>898019
You neurodivergent by chance?

| Here s to the crazies.

Sorry im pretty normal.

| Psychos care for themselves more too aye

| 5 times a day and more. Good stuff.

| Their lords hated them so much he took extra time to make the selection.

| Even fuck them over if they decided to start their own membership

| So dramatic.

| Keeping up with the crazies i guess

| Everyones a big apple fan

| You give here not for protection. You give when you can protect.

| Nothing to give here

Sucked dry by the holes. The undyingly

| Nothing to give here

Sucked dry by the holes. The undyingly

| No speed either.

| Im convinced that im meant to be alone. Cant be happy in a relationship. cant be happy out of one either. But I also feel the need to have someone to love.

| Easier to talk with dead things. Now i understand why heaven s not SUPPOSED TO BE here....and why there are always alot more whos going at any second now.

Maybe i ll live forever too. Who fucking knows. Either way, i m not seeing shit. Bless you all. Pls dont come back. Bring your karma away. It s fucking useless

| Superhumans yer all. Take it easy. sorry im only a normal. Guess you arent that blessed.

| So whens your god gonna
Smash its own head and grow it back?
No? Guess yer only good at beating childrens and handicap to grow legs huh

| Heh. Cute. A bunch of psychos

| You should read my words but i guess you want the subconsious too
The whole thing

Greedy fuck.

Burning so hard like cain and satan did. Wow. Cute. Mirror images.

| Even god doesnt want to be your child i guess. Bow harder.

| Yer too sinful. Lick asses.

| I like to write short stories featuring violence or sex. Mostly because IRL, I cannot pludge someone with a brick or do bandage in an university classroom with a stranger I don't know.

I also have very weird fetishes, mostly involving clothes because.... I don't know, something about creating a mood I guess.

Total number of posts: 41, last modified on: Tue Jan 1 00:00:00 1664123337