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Am I in the wrong for being angru
| Out of nowhere they both start acting distant and when I questioned them, she said PEOPLE(not me) were suffocating her(despite not doing anything different), and he said I was inconvenient and made dumb jokes(despite him always laughing at them and making similar jokes to mine)
Then all of a sudden after some days like that, she snaps at me saying that she wants distace and blocks me
| while he confronts me about it and says that Im in the wrong since I probably have autism and I should have distanced from her a good while ago and then the starts just ghosting and leaving me on read.
2 weeks later I talk to a mutual friend of ours and he says that I should talk to them cuz they like me, and well I did and they apologized for they they treated me, they cried and even hugged me, so In my head we were ok but nope, still blocked, still cold treament.
| Then all of sudden they message me again, all I did was send 1 meme and spend recess with them for 2 days and well blocked again.
I confronted them again and well she said that she could not tell me why and that she just didnt want to hurt me and that she was going to send a text to me saying why, well the text was her just throwing insults at me, being rude and saying that I should never see her again that even if I was a good person, she doesnt want to be friends with me.
| And the guy well, simply said he didnt want to do anything beyond projects and assignments with me and didnt want to talk to me either
I feel used and abused, they lied to me, played with my feelings and never bothered to me why, they just got bored of me and tried to discard me, I was never rude with, never did anything harmful nor offended them and yet isntead of actually being honest they just decided to insult and isolate me because they didnt wanna be friends anymore
| Some people are just assholes I well Im angry but I dont wanna hate on them nor be rude to them because its childish and petty to treat them poorly but some times I think about screaming at them sometimes punching them.
| Later on I discovered that they just didnt want to be friends anymore(no reason given, just they they didnt feel compatible with me) but didnt know how to say it, if you dont want to be friends with someone you dont just exclude them, lie and cry fake tears after and then proceed to just tolerate them until they simply snapped and verbally abused me untill I got away, thats immature, stupid and very irresponsible, so fuck them.
| To be fair, it's never a good idea to be around someone you've been rejected by. Other than that the woman sounds insufferable.
The man said (belatedly) that he wanted to only do projects, which I understand. In college many people just want to focus on their education.
I think they should definitely have been clear about it from the beginning, so you're not to blame for everything. Some people are overgrown children, just think yourself unlucky and don't let it get you down.
| >>857600 I mean, the moment I asked her out I was ready to not face anymore since thats usually how woman go when a friend does that but like, SHE said that I a great friend and that she doesnt want to mess with her colleges which I then said fair enough distanced myself for a week and we got back hanging out and that was 2 months before this whole shitshow happened and both me and her never brought it up.
| And the guy well, Im honestly not as angry at him but Im still hurt over the fact that he said I might have autism, like, no all I have is some awkwardness but so does he, dude is literally me but white and with no awareness of how rude he is(worst part is that he is aware of it)
And well, lately he has been really slacking off on the projects so Im starting to not feel like working with him but at the same time, there is no one that would come to our group in his place.
| Worst part is that well, among out mutual friends, of course everyone flocks to them, thank goodness there is at least 1 guy willing to spend the day with me, but at the same time, if can be 100% honest, Im jealous that they get so much attention and people treat them so well despite how much of an asshole the both of them are and I know thinking like that is wrong, its just that well, I never had a group of friends like that and for it to end like that, of course Im jealous
| I get cut off and depressed after verbal abuse and lies and they get to live their normal lives and be happy.
Like Im sorry but it just feels ufair, but I am aware that Im not entitled to anything.
| >he said I might have autism
Hate to break it to you op, but reading all these, it sure sounds like you do have autism.
There might be something non-verbal about you that's been annoying them for a long time (whether they realise it or not), and they've been sending non-verbal signals (consciously or not) at you about it, but you just can't read them.
It's nobody's fault, just how it is if you have autism. Have you considered getting professional help?
| I'm saying this because I had a friend who does have autism, and it took me a bit to realise that his behaviour is triggering the worst behaviours in me, so I told him we should stop hanging out together. I still feel bad about, but I can't see the alternative being better.
At the end, he couldn't get proper care and ends up being super abusive to the few people who still hang out with him. I don't want you to end up the same way, op.
| >>857646 yes, I seek professional help, thing is not many things beyond anxiety, isolation related traumas and depression
| Im very self aware and I already know when Im being abusive because I did ruin one friendship because of it many years ago and Ive been keeping my feelings in check.
Life sucks but I swore to myself that would try all I could to not mentally of physically harm anyone.
| I agree with the above comment that there might be something about you that is unlikable to them; in a way that affects their image to others or just irritates them. It is not your fault at all,some people are just assholes like that. I would suggest for you to focus on the few people that do seem to enjoy speaking with you and your education. Your mental health is the most important above all else, so cutting off and making amends with leaving others is something you need 2 learn
| >>857677 I wish I knew what it was in the first place, Ive always been lonely and I used to be heavily bullied in midde school, and In high school I was invisible.
College gave hope, I had group of friends, we hung out during and after class but then this happened and I dont even know why, how come everyone always eventually a leave or betray and abuse me like that.
| Uuuugh talked to a mutual friend and we were talking about people and society, the topic of this thread came up.
And well he said that the reason they faked to apologize was because they tought I was weak so just saying they didnt want to hang out felt like they were hurting me.
| And well now Im like baffled,like
"bitch come on, I fucking told you that I used to be bullied and how despite everything Im still standing, fuck this I dont need pitty from you two, like yes Im sad but didnt yall fucking realise that your lack of honesty hurt me"
But no, guess saying I have a hard time undertanding people and telling it to others is "being weak" why are people so fucking shallow?
| A person I talked to sent me this when I felt like everyone out there is trying to hurt me...
https://wikiless.sethforprivacy.com/wiki/Hanlon%27s_razor?lang=en
As for your situation, I can't really relate due to having completely different problems, sorry for that, but I think it's still an interesting idea and you reminded me of it
| >>857963 sometimes I do follow that logic but then I also think "are people really that dumb? Like seriously? I know my IQ test resusts says Im smart but thats doesnt mean people are dumb"
| well I never thought of it as people being straight up dump, more as in, they didn't give their actions much thought at the time.
| >>858032 they almost never do, I confronted a person once and he said that he "didn't know you took it that was" the only time I see people consider their actions is when they talk to a mentaly retarded person... or more like the person talks to them.
| and even then they sometimes still dont think about it
| >>858034
> the only time I see people consider their actions is when they talk to a mentaly retarded person...
> mentally retarded person
Friend, I think it has more to do perspective. If you had meaningful relationships with mentally disabled people, I doubt you would refer to them like that so casually.
| >>858034 if this is true then most people are simply idiots who failed the basic lesson of treat others like how you like to be treated
| >>858085 go on tell me how to call them, I am open to using a better term as I don't like saying mentaly retarted myself, and yes I don't and probably won't ever have meaningful relationship with a person like that.
| oh my god it's mentaly disabled... how come I have not thought of that, I am a dumbass XD
| This is not on you in any way. Those cunts sound insufferable.
On that whole autism thing, you do sound at least some type of neurodivergent. But that imo that makes it even less your fault, because mfs like that expect people to read their fucking mind without even a hint of clear communication.
So fuck them, fuck that, and I hope you can get you some good ones.
| >>858129
Come on, don't call people cunts because they don't understand autism. We all have to play the cards we're dealt, autism or not.
| Come on, been doing therapy for 5 years and no diagnose on autism
| >>858221 but my psychologist made me do a bunch other exams and I also went to a psychiatrist for some months a few years ago
| >>858151
What OP described was abuse. You downplaying it severely doesn't change that. Abusers are cunts. Simple as that.
>>858221
It will lol. That's where you get diagnosed.
| >>858272 I have been going to the pychologist for 7 yrs total, I just skipped 2020 and 2021, and 4/7 years were with the same person, they would have caught on for now.
| >>858272
Therapist is an umbrella term dummy. When going to therapy for mental health stuff the type of therapist you will be assigned is a psychologist.
| >>858231
Wtf, they're obviously not abusers ... People grow apart. Sometimes your friends outgrows you, sometimes you outgrow them. It's perfectly normal and OP should've taken the hint instead of acting all pushy about it.
She told him that she's going trough some stuff and that she feels suffocated and OPs response to that was to suffocate her with needyness.
Where even is OP btw? This isn't one of those incel samefags-threads spewing online vitrol again, is it?
| >>858294 I would agree if they had just fuckn told OP what the problem was and they acted like that but if what OP says is actually true I'd feel pretty jerked around too. plus it's not like OP is even complaining about losing the friends at all, which is what a true incel would do.
| >>858294
People grow apart, that's normal. But what's not normal is lashing out, emotionally manipulating and going back and forth between saying "I want you in my life" and spewing insults ou pf nowhere to someone for extended periods of time without ever saying anything that's clear or understandable.
You either didn't read everything OP said or your brain don't work right.
Also, OP said something literally two replies above you. Tf you on?
| This quickly turned stupid af, guess that's g/u/rls for ya
| >>858294 well, yes I should have take hint but at the same time its not like I never told 'em that I had trouble socializing due to a bunch stuff thag happened in the past.
And btw when she said people were suffocating(never said it was me) I gave her space for some days.
I dont wanna say they are abusers but I felt abused, doesnt mean I hate them or want to harm them, Im just angry and disapointed but I dont really want them back either.
| This whole thing has been taking quite a tool on me and I wanna vent my own frustrations exactly because I dont wanna lash out at them or be mean to them in our day to day routine.
| Sometimes I wonder, why do so many peoole ghost, lie about being interested or simply discard others so easily.
Friday I asked an old highschool colleague out(yep Im still trying to date and putting myself out there) and she was enthusiastic about, we were plannin to watch dr strange 2, but she cancelled to travel and visit her mother, understandable, but later I asked to reschedule for this saturday but she has not replied since.
| Do people dont see others as human anymore? Like thats the amount of sheer ignorance we are talking about?
And I cant even say "anymore" as far as Ive known myself Ive always been outcasted but as I grew up I only saw that no matter where I go or talk with, there are always a bunch of people who are just mean and selfish.
Its frustrating
| What do you know what's happening on the other side? there could be plenty of factors that caused the fact that person ghosted you, one of them being obviously that you were ghosted...
| the silliest of them could be that notifications on the phone or computer are broken, I have a few times when someone messages me and I look but don't see it and then after a hour I find out the person did message me, or it could be something more serious as in a family member dying or some jit happened in life which made them shut in for a while and at an inconvient time for you, as for what you're doing rn, you are implying ill will on the person
| and yes it is frustrating non the less
| >>858892 not really implying ill will, Im just frustrated that Im not interesting to people, that Im always sidelined, etc, I hate the world, not individuals, I dont wanna spam the feed of anyone, I dont wanna complain to them, or be toxic, because I know it could be something else, but I still feel bad.
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| Well Im a college student I an lost to (previously thought to be great)friends but now I really do dislike them(not hate)
It was a man and woman and we would hang out every day and go home together.
I asked the woman out once but we stayed friends and I never treated her differently because of it.
The man was always my project partner and we had lots of things in common.