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[tw:sh] do you remember your first -?
| 2/2 i'm sorry, any form of self-harm, if you are burning or anything.. i didn't want to ignore you, just this one is more close to me..
| how do you spoiler on this site lmao and then ill tell my story
| I remember going out in the middle of the night under a full moon down in the gravel lower part of the property. It was sort of an area that had gravel where cars could park,though grass had grown and so it was like a field with gravel in it. Under the moon light I cut my hand with a steak knife sort of just wanting anything to be real and to feel something or something mystical. All it did was fucking hurt and I realized how stupid cutting myself is.
| >>853721
i dont do cutting. i tried it before but it never helped me cope and just made the feelings significantly worse, which just encouraged me to try further. rather, i use blunt force. i wish i could say used but i do relapse here and there unfortunately. i hit myself with heavy, swingable objects like hammers and beat the shit out of my legs, sometimes my arms. its an awful feeling. i started about 5-6 years ago, and i regret every single time i ever did it
| Was alcohol involved or were you just having a moment?
| cute
| test
| Used to do it back in highschool and early college, I started with the foil thing my meds came in and then went on to use knives. I liked how it hurts and it felt like i deserved it and more. I stopped doing it years ago since I reached a point where I feel like anything I do is ridiculous
| Cutting is stupid, but everyone makes mistakes so no worries if you wanted to put your hand in the fire to see what it feels like
| 3rd grade, i hit myself at the back of my head multiple times until i blacked out because my performance in school wasn't good enough for my parents.
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| If you are cutting yourself, do you remember when and how you did it first time?
And why?