Post number #818192, ID: 24fae2
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In a like, "you walked into the wrong classroom" way. I'm a soft-butch girl in a software dev job. I don't even like tech that much I just happened to have a coding talent. All my best friends are artists, I don't code or anything at all outside my job, and I can't summon even the slightest real passion for my field. I just don't know how I ended up here surrounded by people who feel like a different species from me. Any other g/u/rls in a similar spot?
Post number #818193, ID: 24fae2
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Sometimes I get kinda fed up with it all and feel the need to distance myself aesthetically. I started dying my hair in college after a mid-degree crisis after one too many crypto lectures.
Now I'm thinking about artsy tattoo sleeves, and I wonder if eventually I'm gonna be like, a barely disguised scene girl stereotype sticking out in the middle of a crowd of big beard tech geeks all decked out in star wars apparrel
Post number #818194, ID: 10149b
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Yeah. I just feel out of place in general. Like a fish who can't even fucking swim. Work is extremely uncomfortable and unfulfilling, so I'm trying my best to pursue art in my free time. Problem is, work burns me out to the point of mental exhaustion. A college friend of mine said psycedelics and microdosing really helped them clear the brain fog, so I think I'll try that in 2022.
Post number #818195, ID: 24fae2
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>>818194 the work burnout is real, after full time hours plus after-hours rollouts I only just about have time to watch TV for a little bit after I clean up after my damn roommates. Feels like there's so little energy to give to the things life should actually be about.
Post number #818197, ID: 10149b
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>>818195 Oh, it's insane. My blood pressure shoots up every time my phone rings. Being on-call is ass. I don't know how other people do it. Sure, the paycheck can be nice, but... eh. Think I'm the only person in my workplace that feels this way too. Those guys thrive on the icky corporate atmosphere. One of these days I'll quit and go work a summer as a fire lookout or something. Peace and quite. Just me in the wilderness with my thoughts. Until a raging fire actually shows up lol
Post number #818691, ID: 5be46a
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>>818192 I guess for me its that i'm in a job that uses zero similar skills from what I wanted to do. Wanted to get into a IT related job and mom was supporting me, but classes didn't go well when pandemic hit, no job for years until now but its nothing related... I self taught myself more tech related things and learned way too much that I kinda hate it now.
Post number #818692, ID: 2bb045
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Butch is such an ugly word...
Post number #818740, ID: 4edcc2
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I wonder if you would like it more with the right people around. Im majoring in philosophy and im talented at this and it interests me but i cant vibe with the people at all. My minor is japanese and the people are so much nicer there. And sometimes it ruins my motivation to do philosophy because there is not a single funny person around and alot of them, although they are nice, are so boring.
Post number #818741, ID: 4edcc2
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That being said: From time to time i get this crisis too. Maybe getting in touch with people who code and are more like you on the internet? Atleast this saved me to an extend. And asking the question: are you really not interested anymore? Or are external factors the reason. Like shitty co-workers, loneliness and other factors that deminishes motivation. For me, im just a very social person and loneliness destroys my motivation to do anything at all.
Post number #818832, ID: efad6c
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My position is so opposite OP's and yet the same thing, it's almost hilarious. I'm the girliest thing on Earth in a construction job, I'm really passionate about what I do but the rest of the company I work for seems to not care at all and it frustrates me immensely. And all my friends are programmers who keep telling me about their cool new projects and I can't relate at all! I don't even know what a LXC is and they're running 50 of them!
Post number #818867, ID: 198d24
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I work at an arcade and the difference between me wanting to quit and enjoying my day is who I'm on shift with. Not all the time but the day goes a lot easier if you are around people on the same wavelength.
Post number #818881, ID: 2ffe47
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I do, mostly in a sorta "impostor syndrome" way though. But whenever we are pushed towards socializing more (like corporate events or parties) I do get the "fish out of water" feel too. Which is weird, because media and social networks have led me to believe that as a cis white hetero male-g/u/rl I should fit in just fine in modern society. And I'm a bit of a nerd who likes videogames a lot, so I shouldn't feel out of place as a software dev. And yet, here we fucking are.
Post number #818883, ID: 0f07e4
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I think a lot of the problems stems from how mindless bigger companies are. You're so distant from each colleague so much that sometimes you don't even know your own boss. It sucks.
Total number of posts: 13,
last modified on:
Mon Jan 1 00:00:00 1640968345
| In a like, "you walked into the wrong classroom" way. I'm a soft-butch girl in a software dev job. I don't even like tech that much I just happened to have a coding talent. All my best friends are artists, I don't code or anything at all outside my job, and I can't summon even the slightest real passion for my field. I just don't know how I ended up here surrounded by people who feel like a different species from me. Any other g/u/rls in a similar spot?