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Birthday Bitch's Blues
| I have a job, albeit one I don't feel like sticking with. The bossman's nice, but driving for an hour and nearly 50 miles each way, for just $10/hr (But $50 in mileage round-trip) and 10-hour days just doesn't feel very worth it.
I've got very little home life, with or without the job. Everyone hates each other, except for the cats. I've lived in the smallest room for the past two years, but hopefully my dad's project apartment-garage gets finished soon so I can at least move there
| There is hardly anything to do here, besides sit at this wretched desk and watch the internet devolve. Games have gotten boring, or outright frustrating. People seem to just continue to be more and more negative most of the time.
I can't really go outside, due to the minuscule yard, and since the neighborhood is pretty bad, but not the worst.
Trying to talk to people isn't a huge option either, since I feel that I'm just horrible at it most of the time.
| I really just want to give up right now, and just vanish. I feel bad most of the time, half of my friends are too busy or forget about me, and the other half has pretty much disappeared.
I know that I can't afford to though, it would ruin my family, and the four or so friends that hardly talk to me but seem to care a little.
| That sucks. I'm hoping you find something that makes you happy soon, even if it doesn't mean much.
| You seem like you're kinda with depression OP. I'm not saying that you should feel happy all the time because you have a lot of things that many people don't. But maybe you would like things more if you appreciate them more? I don't really know how to explain it.
Maybe I would recommend you g/u/rl, that you should keep going and try to get professional help. Not because you're crazy or something like that, but just because you want to be happy.
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| Wooo, 19th birthday. I guessed it'd feel like every other birthday the past few years, shitty, and it honestly was.
Couple days ago, friends were talking about planning a birthday get-together today. Today, they probably forgot, and thought I wanted to do something some other day.
Others just sent the usual "Happy birthday", one asked what I was doing a little bit ago, told him "The usual, feeling like shit".
I'm tired of feeling like this. I don't know what to do anymore. cont>