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How to live for yourself in a relationship
| Be selfish and have sex with them for your own fulfillment.
| >>811733 Incredibly based.
...more seriously though, how do you "live for yourself" in a relationship? Everyone around me's been telling me that if you don't love the other person enough that you think about them all the time and your entire life revolves around them, you're a sick fuck who doesn't deserve a relationship in the first place.
I don't really agree obviously? But I guess you should try and conform to the narrative?
| But what if the only reason you life is for others, I don't know if it's a good thing that I have only one reason or not. I don't even know how I should find a reason to live for myself.
| If the only reason you live is for others, then the others will leave eventually (I mean, everyone's going to start dying off eventually if you make it that long) and then you'll have no reason to live again.
So now I have a better understanding of what you meant, I suppose.
I don't really have a reason to live. But if I were to start looking for one, I would start with writing down everything I like about my existence. Is that a reason to stick around? Can you make it one?
| Sorry if that doesn't help much, and good luck otherwise.
| Thank you
| First off, find purpose in your life OP.
Something you love doing, or maybe learn a skill, doesn't need to be something you particularly enjoy, could be learning to weld, could be learning how to play piano, it doesn't matter. Set a responsability for yourself. A relationship is something complimentary where both parties support each other through thick and thin and if you want it to be succesful be honest with your partner about EVERYTHING, I mean EVERYTHING...
| ...even things they might find disgusting and spiteful about you. And they probably are, but that's you, with the good and the bad. If they're not honest with you and loyal then you've got a problem there.
We as humans pursue relationships because navigating the path of life on our own is difficult but you don't want someone that hinders your progress.
Your first priority should be yourself, your development and your family. Relationships are very valuable too but prioritise.
| Bottom line:
If the relationship is your main source of happiness, you're screwed, find something to do.
| What people tell ya is dumb. If you know you like em that's enough
| Dont need to go putting people ahead of yourself
| Very interesting views ,thanks tho
| But as a friend what can we do to help the person value their self more ?
| >>811735
My experience is opposite, everyone around me thinks that if you’re dependent on your partner on any matter or want something more from your partner than he/she already gives then you’re being weak needy abuser or smth. Be around other people and find partner that suits you, why would you care for someone else’s opinion on your relationship
| I guess it's tough making people realize that's it's okey that having this sort of feelings when comes to relationship
| It's all about trust I suppose
| Think about money more
| You don't need a reason to live. Just live and stop asking yourself "why", it's like asking yourself "Why do I exist", that's just philosophical bullshit.
| If that's a question you gotta ask then you may need to rethink the dynamic a little. Beyond that i think most relationships have "me" time which both should respect.
| I'll say this much, a long lasting and successful relationship is based on mutual altruism. Both people greatly care and support each other.
If you're both selfish, it's bound to break up.
| I reckon that it's about understanding to love ourselves but knowing what we are limited to. Maybe I'm being too realistic.
| If you need to be told how to live for yourself in a relationship you should stay away from relationships. You're the type that at best will just be ghosted once they get tired of feeling pity for you and at worst you'll be used for years.
| Just do the right thing
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