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Turns out my dad has colon cancer and I'm not taking it well at all
| I've tried to at least make it look like I'm taking it in stride, I need to stay strong both to support mom and so dad wouldn't worry about me too. But today after talking to him over the phone I broke down for the first time since it all began. And oh god, it's almost like all negative emotions I've been suppressing hit me all at once. It hurts so, so much. But my dad's a fighter, and so am I, so we're not gonna be giving up anytime soon. It's just... Really fucking hard sometimes
| That's really tough op. Similar thing happened with my dad. Stay strong~ you're not alone in this. We can get through it together
| Do a kick flip
| Damn, bad things strike real hard sometimes.
I truly hope your dad wins against this.
| You can cry however you want. I don't really know why it is the ideal to stay "strong"? If i would have cancer, i would be hurt if my loved once never cry. I dunno. Whenever i see stuff about this, i think people like you make it a story for yourself and drama. It's about him, not you.
| OP, I understand. It's difficult, and it isn't going to get easier. Staying strong isn't the right course, though. This is reality, and it's difficult for everyone involved. Take time to process it, talk about it (with your father especially), and... as tough as it is, accept it. You don't need to be complacent, or ignorant. You need to be honest to yourself and those close to you, and look towards what you can do from here on.
|
At the very least: spend time with your dad. He's still here, and that's a gift.
| >>788211
Thanks. Yeah, we can.
>>788354
Thank you, yeah.
>>788355
Because I need to support both my dad and my mom, who cries for the both of us. I know firsthand how hard it is for them to see family members in such state, so I try to support them in any way I can. And, sorry, but fuck you assuming I'm doing this for a story and drama on an anonymous textboard of all places.
| >>788389
It doesn't mean that I'm ignorant or that I don't care. I have accepted and processed what is happening now as best I can.
We're talking regularly, but since he's in the hospital corona makes it hard to see each other in person and spend time together. They very rarely let visitors in (or patients out) due to quarantine. I'm fully vaccinated though and always come with mask, gown and whatever else (not sure what those are called in English), so sometimes I can get in.
| My best advice is to start reading stoicism. It prepares you mentally to face situations out of your control such as these.
Also take into account what >>788390 said. Be grateful your dad is still alive and that you can enjoy his company, not many can say the same.
| >>788484
Stoicism is definitely part of the reason I was actually able to take the news relatively well at first. But it still hurts, some days just more than others.
Oh, for sure. I am very grateful there is still at least some light in this situation, even in the darkest moments.
| Dad had the same thing. It won't get easier. You don t have to believe any of the BS you're getting from here, just make sure to release your dark thoughts once it a while or else they rot in there. Daddy issues may occur. Fucking life man.
| >>788504
>You don t have to believe any of the BS you're getting from here
>Daddy issues may occur.
| >>788355 fuck you, dude. If you think the dude gets an ego boost for venting in anonymous forum you lack any empathy whatsoever.
Anyway, stay strong OP, I'm not gonna lie to you, your dad might or might not recover from this, I lost my mom to colon cancer, she pulled through once and then it came back. If you wanna talk you can pm on my discord, just ask for it.
| And like someone else said, enjoy the time you spend with your dad and treasure it, be grateful that he's still here. It sounds harsh and shallow but in retrospect it's what I should have done with my mum from the start.
If your dad undergoes chemo and starts taking medication for the pain, mainly the opioids his behavior might change, usually for the worse, it's very tough to see a family member slowly break down like that.
| Humans are getting really good at treating and getting rid of cancer. Colon cancer is hard to treat, but it's still treatable! Tell your dad that a random person on the internet fully supports him and is now reciting an incantation for good luck and sacrificing several goats for his health!
| My mom died 4 hours ago. Covid. I can't stay strong anymore
| >>788925 Ohh that's awful. I don't believe fully in an afterlife, but I wish your mother has found peace at least.
I wish that humans do not die of disease.
| >>788925 May she rest in peace, she loves you very much, mourn her for as long as you need to and know that all she wishes for you is to be happy
| >>788503 Well, stoicism is effective to reduce psychological pain and help you to recover from it faster but it doesn't make you invulnerable. For that you would need to be an utter psychopath.
The only thing that shall heal your pain completely is time. Time makes everything temporary so it will only hurt less progressively.
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| I'm sorry for bringing down the mood, but I really need to vent somewhere because I can't take it anymore. It's been a week since he was suddenly taken to the ER due to severe bowel obstruction, and then after they operated to deal with that we found out it was caused by a malignant tumor. Couldn't remove the tumor on the spot though, just did colostomy for now. And today the obstruction happened again for se reason, we won't know why until the morning though. It all sucks so much.