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What do you guys do when you feel lonely
| Very unpopular and im not kidding when i say i either watch sunday worship or study the bible everyday. That's honestly what's helping me with all the feelings you mentioned. If you're interested, i can send you a link but that's only if you wan to!! No pressure!
| I love sex.
| I lived alone at uni for 3 years now and I don't have any out of class friends. i have a lot of friends back home but i find, barring the occasional phone call, that virtual communication is harder on me than nothing at all. its not like i haven't had the opportunity to date people either but everything just feels insubstantial so i usually break it off. I've resigned to live as a ghost i guess. its a loneliness socializing and fucking wont fix. books on tape help...
| ... I started commuting on foot or bike and now i can get through about a book a week, and ive read a few which really can shift perspective. and more and more I find myself trying to get away from the noise of society. i cant ditch my smart phone entirely due to school but even that I'm trying to abandon. if the thing you desire most is not only to be loved but to find yourself capable is loving then i fear you are doomed to rove the earth a silent beast alone as you will find...
| ... any lesser substitute appauling.
| Exercise until I can't think straight. Pretty effective with most negative feelings I've found. Plus if you do it often enough it's also rewarding to see progress, which might at least soften the blow of not having a purpose. I know it does for me
| Play a game with a good storyline or roleplay elements, or find some handcrafting hobby. Coloring those mandala book things also helps calming the mind
| I like feeling lonely so I don't do anything.
But you should talk about it with your friends. They definitely have a better understanding of your situation - and you can see if what they are saying is genuine advice.
If you can't talk with them about it... Well, you've got your answer.
It's also possible that this anxiety has phisical roots, but I would approach this thought with caution. Just make shure that you eat and sleep well first.
| >>787712 I don't know what love is, and I can't say for sure that I saw true love, maybe here and there, it's a very rare thing.
| >>787739 90% of my friends wouldn't understand. I live in a different reality than most of them, they are good people, but they are not as aware as I am or conscious as I am, about pretty much everything, I don't mean to sound like an arrogant jerk, but they don't ask the dificult questions to themselfs most of the time, but I like them, they are good people, just not my type of people, there is very few folks like me where I live.
| >>787803 I don't know about that chief, have you played Outer Wilds? Or hollow knight? Those are pretty good stories.
And Everhood? That game has existential dread fuel bro.
Just play good game pal
| >>787804 uhh, I can understand your feelings and your situation pretty well... Most of the people don't try to ask meaningful questions (or don't want to)
| >>787809 Played Outer Wilds, Outriders and Outer Worlds, Hollow Knight I haven't gathered to corage to do so, that is something else games shouldn't take effort for you to play, sometimes they do, in fact almost everything feel like an effort too.
| >>787810 Thinking is painful, awareness if awful, face one true self is absolute despair, people tend to live in their small closed up world to protect themselfs, from the massive size of the true world, not only size but complexity, nothing is really easy or simple, so it takes quite de compass to navigate through such seas, not everyone is capable or willing to do so.
| I was extremely lonely for a long time. I mean, I still am, but now I've kinda gotten used to it. Still hurts like a bitch, but now the pain is kinda dulled, so I can usually distract myself with literally anything. On the flip side though, I feel alone even when I am with someone, just because it's basically the default mode for me now.
| >>787823
>I feel alone even when I am with someone
Be thankful for this. I stopped being lonely for a little while just to go back into loneliness and it's the worst experience in years, and I lived through 2020.
| >>787825
I already went through this and since then I crave genuine deep human connection, but now I just can't manage to do that. So yeah, that does indeed suck.
| I haven't felt lonely or bored in a long time, I can't even lie to myself and say it's because I'm keeping myself stimulated because I could really be doing so much more. I'm just unable to care anymore.
| >>787817 well, that's fair enough. So, have you played Undertale? Everhood? Do you like survival games? Like Don't starve together? Or The Long Dark? That last one has a pretty good story and atmosphere.
Do you like RPG games with good inmersion? Like Skyrim/Oblivion/Morrowind?
Oohh! I would love to recommend one last game that's "very easy" and have one of the best atmospheres I've ever seen in my gamer life.
It's called "The Longing", you can play it anytime you want. :)
| When i feel myself alone i listen to asmr and hug my pillow.
| >>787854 Undertale yeah, just the first route. Long Dark yes, but there was like just 3 chapters or something. Fallout>>>>Skyrim. "The longing"? I heard that name somewhere, can't remember where though.
| Also OP, do you want to talk? I can relate to a lot what you are saying. Do you have discord?
| >>787872 ohh ok!
I have to agree to disagree with you in that heresy you just said (skyrim is definitely better than fallout)
Please play the longing, you're not gonna regret it.
In fact, I can assure you, that the game will have a permanent positive effect on you, and your thoughts.
| A blind playtrough of Subnautica is the best cure against loneliness.
| I play sad music and cry. Fr
| It's definitely not being alone that's causing it. I recommend talking. Like, actual talking with your friends. Opening up and shit. Getting to the roots of stuff. Ain't gonna get better on it's own.
And, obviously, hobbies. Hobbies are great for mental health just in general. Hobbies that I do on my own have no joke helped me feel a lot less, well, on my own, and I've seen it have the same effect on others too. So, you should definitely try that.
Good luck!
| >>787951 I don't feel comfy to talk about it to a lot of people, and even when I do, it's like we are talking different languages. Since you spoke about hobbies and other guy spoke about games, I will give it an example, try to talk to a non video game player about, huge rpgs like Skyrim, Witcher, WoW, about lore, gameplay etc, it would be like doing something like that.
| >>787957 well, you can always try! I know is not the same, and the people will probably don't understand at its best, but something is better than nothing I guess..
| just touching myself
| >>787967 I have few friends that do understand but I feel like I'm being a burden to them and I hate the feeling.
| >>787957 >>787986
And that is exactly why I said you need to talk to people.
Otherwise you're just gonna be stuck in your head playing pretend all your life. If you don't talk to them, you won't know. If they genuinely think it's a burden to talk to you, then they're not real friends. In that case, you get new ones. If you talk to them about how you're feeling and they don't see it as a burden, then keep talking.
But sitting and overthinking everything ain't gonna do shit.
| >>787992
>In that case, you get new ones.
I've been getting new friends for a fucking decade now, how many times do you expect me to try?
| >>787992 >>787993
Yeahhh maybe that advice about getting new friends is not so good. I've ended up pushing everyone away and unable to find anyone new, since it's much harder now that I'm older.
| >>787993 Do you sincerely think that every friend that you had across that decade saw you as a burden? If you do think that, hmmm... Maybe you're the one that think that way about yourself...
....I believe that would be just pretty improbable...
| >>787995
See, this has nothing to do with the friends. That's all you. What I said is that if you open up to people and they don't care and see you as a burden, then they're bad friends. I'm not saying to push people away or be alone, so I'll rephrase:
If you have bad friends, they're not worth your time.
Bad friends = people who are toxic and/or don't care about you or your wellbeing.
That's something you find out by opening up to them and talking to them.
I hope that's clearer.
| >>788008 Op here, I understood what you meant and it makes sense, that is why I said I "feel" like a burden, cuz feelings are not necessarily rational, so what I meant is that, not an easy thing for me to do, I feel awful, it's hard and all, but I won't lie I also feel I should meet new people, but it is hard, I have a hard time connecting with most people I come across.
| >>788016
Just gotta go for it. If it doesn't work out, doesn't matter. You don't have to become best friends with everyone you meet. Just gotta talk to people, and sometimes you'll hit it off, and there you go.
Everything you're describing is just mental block. All in your head. Just gotta do it. Might feel weird at first, but you'll get used to it, you'll feel better, get more experienced, and you'll get new people in your life.
| Hey OP, Discordg/u/r/l here. Luckily i can change the name anytime so here is my name: Lmbda#9938
| You don't have to. I might be coming across very superficial here, i'm sorry... But if you want to talk, you can just add me.
| I can relate to a lot of what was said in this post, making acquaintances is easy, making friends is extremely hard. People who care about others are a rare breed, a dilemma that I myself struggle with.
Am I really out for myself or do I actually care about others? Sometimes I wonder that...
Anyway instead of willowing away at my own loneliness I've come to understand it's a great thing, being lonely for this long has led me to teach myself new skills and I think up until this...
| >>788034 Nah it's fine, I've sent you an invite, I like talking to people from all sorts of backgrounds.
| ...point I feel like I've wasted so much time trying to "connect" with other people. It's just not for me.
This might sound self absorbed and unhealthy but to be honest focusing those feelings and concentrating on yourself is what helped me, less videogames, more self study, reading, music, shower, enjoying a beer on your own, etc helps too for relaxation. I guess my point was living in your here and now. Yeah, that bs works for me.
Just my two cents. Everyone is different.
| >>788021 It is psychological I know, but the thing is my whole life has been hell on earth and this, this is another brick in the wall of sorts I guess. I get what you mean but it's not that easy I believe, I'm not a "go getter" I'm ugly, shy, insecure, sad, bitter and resentful, although I a lot of times don't show it, it is there under the surface.
| >>788042 If you happy, fine and well the way you are, then it is absolutely ok to keep on like this, just ask yourself if you are being honest with yourself.
| >>788045 Or maybe you are feeling insecure and wants reafirmation, that would be 100% normal as well.
| >>788043
Oh please. Miss me with that. Do you think anyone on this site is a "go getter"? I'm giving this advice as someone who feels the exact same way as you do. Shy, self-hating, depressed, all that bullshit.
You ever heard the expression "fake it till you make it"? That's what I'm talking about, because that shit works. Instead of rotting away you just gotta force yourself to do shit and eventually you'll get used to it.
I'm not saying it's easy, but what's the alternative?
| All I'm tryna say is that doing nothing and actively reinforcing all that negative shit in your head ain't gonna get you anywhere. You gotta pick yourself up, because nobody's gonna do it for you. Distractions and hobbies are good to for coping in the moment, but long term? Nah.
But, no matter what you choose, I wish you the best.
| Bruh moment
| >>788055 I get it, its just that, I've been fighting for quite some time now, and I often am tired so I don't know, after all it just feels nearly impossible for me, but I guess I'll go back fighting this damn war I call my life, it is just that I am really tired of living, of feeling like shit, of feeling lonely but either way I'm living and can't kill myself cuz I have a family so, yeah I'm stuck.
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| I don't live alone, I speak to people on my whatsapp almost always, it's been quite a while since I left home due you know, pandemic and all but, I usually have these feelings at night before work, feelings of loneliness, despair and anxiety, I don't know what to do, I remember that even when I went out with friends and all, a lot of times I felt alone there as well. It's another topic but I've been feeling despair in general and lack of purpose in everything as well.