This thread is permanently archived
I keep losing friends, help
| Maybe it's because I lead a very boring and even kinda sheltered life, so I can't "just talk" because I don't really have anything to talk about? My day-to-day is as routine as it gets, I barely have any fun or cool stories to share. The ones I do have get old real quick. So our talks tend to get really one-sided in favor of the other person, which I personally am okay with, I like to listen, but it must be tiring for them. So eventually we talk less and less, and then just don't.
| Your friends won't mind one-sided conversations if you stuff your mouth with their cock.
| Just put a GPS device on them.
| Two things:
1. Do more stuff. Like, get outside and shit. Just do varied stuff for the sake of it.
2. Stop overthinking it. If they don't enjoy talking to you then they just won't. Like, people aren't gonna talk you out of pity or some shit. If they talk with you and call themselves your friend it's because they want to. People don't do charity. Just accept that.
| >>787437
>people aren't gonna talk you out of pity
Are you sure about that? Anyway, yeah, I kinda realize it logically, but I still get some invasive thoughts from time to time
And also, maybe people just do actually stop enjoying talking to me, so they just stop talking too. Although usually I'm the one who stops, not because I don't enjoy it, but I don't know what to talk about. And I really don't know how to keep myself more present in their lives and/or how to be more likeable
| Start winning friends
| >>787440
Yes, I'm sure. Nobody talks to people just out of pity. People don't do shit that they don't gain anything from. So if they don't get any enjoyment out of talking to you, why the fuck would they?
You're not some main character that others are obligated to talk to. They can just ignore you if they want. But you drop them because you think you can read minds.
Just talk to people instead of trying to read their mind, and don't think anyone would give you special treatment.
| >>787462
Either I fail to convey myself properly, or you fail to understand me. Maybe both actually. How did you manage to get the impression I consider myself a main character and expect special treatment from anyone? Or that I intentionally drop people because I "read their mind," whatever you even mean by that?
I'm saying that I'm having trouble talking to people unless it's about our immediate common interests or the activity we both partake in currently.
| If anything, it's almost like I have coworkers instead of friends. I can still chat with them about anything, personal unrelated matters included, but in that moment I also need to be doing something together to keep contact. So when the activity/interest that binds us together disappears for any reason, we just drift apart, almost naturally. I can't keep contact and I absolutely suck at just talking to people in general.
| Humans need new things. We need enrichment. You keep seeing the same things, talking about the same things, experiencing the same things, you're going to go nuts eventually – this is where cabin fever comes from! Especially during the current era where we do live as close to penguins in a zoo as we have thorough history.
| A friend of a friend asked me a week ago what kind of fonts I enjoy and why and was prepared to drag it out into a two hour conversation we both enjoyed and learned something during.
Reach out with new things or suffer the consequences.
| Worst case scenario? Fall back to taking the cool things your friends tell you about and adopting them as your cool things to tell other friends (preferably not from the same circle, you madg/u/rl) about.
If you can't be interesting, fake it until you make it.
This thread is permanently archived
| It's not even anything big, it just... Happens. I get acquainted with someone, we hit it off because of a common interest or hobby. I just can't figure out how to *just* talk or hang out without necessarily having to do something together. Then eventually one of us loses that interest and without anything to hold it together the friendship just fizzles out. If there's nothing to do it's just "Hi, how are you, good? Yeah, I'm fine, too. Okay, see you." day after day and I hate that.