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So..
| So. I cannot fucking understand if this one guy is trying to make out with me or what. For example, he may rest his head on my shoulder from time to time, or place a hand there when he's walking me somwhere, and during these moments I think "Well, there's definitely a special meaning behind this, yea?" But I would do the same to a close friend of mine, without any romantic thoughts in my head. So then I think "Nah, I'm reading too much into this, he's like that with everybody"
| Except we're surely not friends, and he doesn't act in such a way with anyone else. So. Does it count or what? I just don't understand how to read these situations, and so, how should I respond.
People around us keep saying that he's interested in me and intensely ship us together, but c'mon, that doesn't say anything, they cannot know that better than I do (and followinf this logic I shouldn't ask you g/u/rls about any of this, but, well..)
| The only viable option I think I have is to openly ask this guy about his intentions, but fucking hell it'd be awkward if I am indeed correct and he's not trying to flirt in any way possible.. that's why I want to avoid doing so for now, and that's why I'm here.
What are your thoughs, g/u/rls of wisdom? What are the general signs that even such a dumbass like me should understand? Why am I so bad at this?
| I feel like "reading signals" never works because everyone has different signals. So I think it's totally normal to be bad at picking up hints. That being said, if this isn't how he normally acts (like you mentioned), something might be up.
| c/ute...
| Honestly, and please do not be offended, but it sounds like you might be a little bit on the sprctrum? If nothing else your inexperience in these sorts of matters is adorable. But really g/u/rl, a guy leaning his head on your shoulders? He's definitely interested. 99% of straight guys don't do that to anyone but their significant others or maybe their moms.
If he doesn't act like that with anyone else, then yeah, he is probably interested in you.
| >>762007
Here's a way to find out without directly asking him and making things awkward. When you two are alone, tell him something like 'y'know, my friends have all been saying that there is this guy who likes me, but I'm not sure. I really like it when people are direct with me and say exactly what they mean and how they feel. What do you think?' This tells him what you like and how to let you know if he's trying to get with you, without pressuring him or making things awkward.
| >>762009
If he's interested, you've given him an opening to tell you directly. If he isn't, then you haven't directly asked him and made things awkward. It's not the most subtle way, but you only want subtle-adjacent.
Good luck!
| >>762007
You're right on that one! I'm not just "a little bit" on the spectrum, I'm diagnosed with Asperger's and completely lack any experience with people on top of that. What a nice wombo combo, eh? Sure makes socializing fun.
Thanks a lot for your advice! I think this might work if I manage to execute the delivery smoothly enough. Which will be, well.. a bit tricky for me to do, but I'll figure something out, maybe train on some of my family members beforehand, heh
| Strangely, ive been in this type of situation before. Before I got with my boyfriend hes always proven to be a touchy person, he likes to hug, pat, and just do things I had a hard time understanding. Ive had few friends growing up so i missed a couple pages on the whole socializing book so i didn't notice his signals for almost a year. It took him outright telling me his feelings and emotions that it final clicked in my head.
| This guy is in for a good ride lol, good luck to him..
And op? He's most definitely into you
| > What are your thoughs, g/u/rls of wisdom?
I didn't think for two years.
| >>762054
I don't know what the deal with the aspergers thing is. Isn't it logical that you won't be able to know a person's intentions if she doesn't state them?
| >>762181
Yeah, seriously. Asperger's or not, all these "clues" and "signals" are always unnecessarily convoluted, different for every person and never make any fucking sense.
| Make sure to tell us how it goes, g/u/rl!
| A quick question: how do you feel about the guy yourself? What happens next if ("if" lol) it turns out that he is indeed trying to make out with you?
| >>762183
Yeah, it's unnecessary. But most people don't like being upfront about it because they're scared to come off too strong and because "well those hints were obvious" even though they usually aren't to a lot of people, and to Aspies and shit they just don't exist. Like, I'm an Aspie as well but I've taught myself a lot of social, like, observational skills, and even after I started being able to sort of tell stuff like that, it still just seems so unnecessarily complicated.
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| How do you know for sure that someone's hitting on you?
The thing is, I'm very bad at interacting with people, especially when I have to deal with their feelings, emotions and stuff like that. I won't ever understand anything, no matter how many "clues" a person throws at me, unless I'm being openly told about what this person has on their mind.