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Well, shit
| I understand that the best option here would be to man up and openly tell this guy to try his luck elsewhere, but it's almost physically impossible for me to do so. I'd rather just quit working at that place, and I'm not even exaggerating
What do I do, g/u/rls? ;–;
| Remember that telling somebody you aren't interested isn't a confrontation. There's no real harm to be had in it, it's just a fact of life that it'll happen. In fact it's statistically likely.
You're fully aware of all of that though,so all I can reassure you of is that if you do it, the whole thing won't seem as big of a deal afterwards, you're just overthinking.
| If you're truly too coward then you could always drop smaller hints to indicate you're not into him, but honestly just be upfront and the issue will resolve itself.
| I would just say "stay away from me creep"
That usually works
| If not, just buy a switchblade and stab him in his guts. That will solve the problem in a instanct
| >my coworker is shitting on me
| I would stab him, go home, buy a pizza and wait smoking a joint until i eat
| Your co-worker is not potty trained?
| >no coworker, i'm not into scat
| >maids delete the wrong thread
cringe...
| >>758375
This. You're overthinking the whole situation. Life ain't a TV drama. Saying "I'm not interested" won't cause a chain reaction of unfortunate events that eventually ruin your life. It'll just let him know that you're not interested, and then he'll most likely just back off. It's not a big deal. It happens all the time.
| Hey hey, op here
I guess you g/u/rls are all completely right, and simply telling this guy to stop hitting on me is not something as terrible as I view it, but man. I'm just so bad with people, especially if I have to deal with their feelings, emotions and shit like that.. what also bothers me a lot is the fact that we'll still have to work together, we'll still see each other pretty damn often, and as awkward as it is now, won't it only get worse because of this?
| But I'm probably just overthinking all of this again.. of course it'll be a bit awkward between us at first, but there's no other way to solve this, isn't it? Ugh
Human interaction fucking sucks, why can't I just leave in an isolated shell? ;–;
| I'll try playing dead for now, just to see if my unresponsiveness and frigidness will do a good enough job to scare him away. It doesn't really work so far and he probably thinks that I'm just too shy or smth like that, but oh well. We'll see how it goes. If it doesn't work after all, I'll man up and initiate the Big Talk™ about the Feels™
God I feel stupid..
| >>758622
You're not stupid. You're just not good at human interaction and don't want to change it. Can't blame you for that.
| >>758622 Hey OP glad you're taking the advice on board, and as other people have said you're perfectly fine for being bad at interactions. Truth of the matter is that most people are, even probably your coworker is nervous about talking to you.
I'd say definitely talk this out sooner rather than later though. Avoiding the issue likely won't work, and I think you know that already.
Delaying the inevitable is an easy way out, but it's only gonna make the "big talk" that much bigger.
| Talk it out before it gets too far and it'll be a lot easier on both of you.
Giving extra time as a buffer only allows the issue to grow into something bigger and harder to take on.
| >>758770
About nervousness.. that's another reason why I'm so hesitant. I realize that this guy is a very shy and awkward person and it takes him a lot to simply talk to me, and because of this I feel extremely guilty for like.. not loving him back. It's stupid, I know, but man. He's trying so hard, overcoming his anxiousness and shit, and here I am, not even giving him a chance. I'd die from embarrassment if I was him, and so.. I don't know, I just feel really bad
| if your coworker is rude to you be rude to him! If you stay quiet it will only get worse, sometimes you have to earn the respect of some people, or you are going to be shitted on by a lot of people in your life. The world is full of assholes that see you are fragile take advantage of that, its just how things work.
| >>758865
I know what you mean. I'm an empathetic person as well.
But, what helps me when it comes to social stuff like that is a sort of rule that I put for myself. Like, an order of importance sort of.
My loved ones
Myself
Others
Your loved ones have nothing to do with this, which leaves you and others.
You're more important than others since you doing well is best for your loved ones. Therefore it's an action that should be taken.
At least that's how I do it with stuff like that.
| My explanation of that might have been a little weirdly worded, but, basically, him potentially being a little hurt by you taking action is worthwhile because it would make things better for you and in turn your loved ones.
You obviously shouldn't go out of your way to add insult to injury, but just letting him know you're not interested would be for the best.
If you think about it's also best for him, because that way he won't get even more invested and hurt even worse later.
| Jesus fucking Christ, it's ony now that I've noticed this damn "my coworker is shitting on me"
I couldn't understand where all the scat jokes were coming this whole time
Holy shit I feel stupid
| And again, big thanks to all the g/u/rls who were kind enough to share their wisdom about the matter with me. I now know what's the right thing to do, and even though I don't quite have the balls to finally end this whole situation, I'll work towards it
| >>758865 In response you realising he's also awkward and feeling bad for having to turn him down.
Just be honest about that. Be open about exactly that, tell him you recognise how hard it was for him to talk to you and that you admire that and think it's really sweet etc, just that he isn't right for you.
There's nothing wrong with an honest human dialogue. It will really clear any ambiguity or lingering questions for you both.
Good luck g/u/rl
| It's gonna be fine g/u/rl, go get them! We believe in you and your ability to resolve this situation!
| it is indeed very awkward when my coworkers shit on me, I am with you gurl
| My life is a fucking joke
Not only the silent tactic didn't work at all (as everyone here predicted, I know, I'm stupid for believing it will actually solve anything), but now there's another fucking guy who's trying to make out with me. To make things even worse, my colleagues noticed this, liked the idea of us getting together, and now they're tirelessly trying to make us date each other. Grown-ass fucking people with are acting like damn elementary schoolers
| This is so embarrassing, i just wanna die
I couldn't handle just one guy trying to (s)hit on me, what the hell did I do to deserve two of them at once?
| I guess I gotta quit the job lol
| >>760502
Or:
Confront them about it and let them know that it makes you uncomfortable and they're being childish.
Or:
Let your superiors know so they can tell them the fuck off, because something like that should not be a thing in the work place and is unacceptable.
Or:
Talk to a co-worker about it and how you dislike it and have them report it to your superiors.
| What >>20e4de said is 100% on point.
You shouldn't ever have to quit a job over something like this, and once it's resolved it'll blow over and everyone will be talking about something else in a couple of weeks.
Stick to the original advice of just tackling the issue head on, and probably also speak to HR or management about your colleagues behaviour.
That's what they're there for, use the tools the job gives you.
You've got this g/u/rl!
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| My coworker is shitting on me. He is painfully awkward about it as well, and I just don't know what to do about it. How the hell do I make it clear that I'm not interested in any of this shit without, well, stating that straightforward? I'm afraid that openly saying so would be too rude, and I don't want to hurt this guy in any way possible. Aaand I'm a coward who cannot openly confront people, yes, that's also the reason..