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terminal conclusion thread
| i am all alone, no one understands me, i have been doing things my entire life simply because the alternative was more painful. like dropping out or being homeless. i don't do things because i enjoy them. i don't enjoy myself in stuff i do.
i almost didn't make this thread because it just doesn't matter. i might get replies, from aliens i guess. i'll read some text that doesn't matter either.
now i just go through days in a blur, derealized, anhedonistic, fatalistic and careless.
| trapped in a dusty body, i exist.
| i don't wash myself, i eat because i have to, i don't do anything and waste time instead. i don't talk to anyone because there's no one to talk to. i stay in bed and try to grab onto sleep because i don't want to wake up and be conscious. i lay down all day and get up when people come home from work.
isolated, loneliness changes the way your brain works.
like i grew up in a cell. cannot relate to anyone. passionless life. i don't like anything or anyone. a dying youth i guess.
| and the weird part is that sometimes i even have fun and enjoy myself. did i contradict myself? sometimes i feel good
| Have you tried having sex?
| >>755951 >>755956
Sounds like some potential depression to me. Get therapy, OP. The sooner - the better.
| Honestly OP. Have you even given yourself a fighting chance or are you just moping around inside your flat all day?
| >>755982
I believe depression is legitimate. But I also believe that if you don't exercise, eat nutritious food, get sunlight, get enough sleep, consume positive material, surround yourself with support, then you aren't giving yourself an honest chance.
| Have sex and have fun.
| I suspect that you're just gonna respond with some defeatist attitude and claim it doesn't work, but if you aren't doing any of the above then I suggest you cease posting these suicidal threads, because no matter how many times you blame outside forces it's ultimately you who keeps you depressed.
| >>756014 people like you are tiresome. sometimes external forces cause things, but even so this person is not asking for help they're expressing how tired they are and your basic ass advice is not helpful
| >>756031
Nope, people *LIKE YOU* are tiresome. You can't even understand what's written in front of you. Fuck off back to /new/ with you, midia-kun.
| >you might think this is emotions speaking, depression at first
Then you proceeded to perfectly describe depression. Do you genuinely not realize that? How dense are you? That is literally depression. Trust me. I've felt like that for years. I can relate to every little thing you're saying, but unlike you I acknowledge that it's mental illness and not "just how it is".
I understand that as well though. I didn't realize it was depression either until I almost killed myself.
| But, it's really important to acknowledge it. If you want to ever feel a sense of purpose, it's very important to acknowledge what it is.
If you don't want to, then don't, of course. At the end of the day you can choose one or the other. Acknowledge it and work on it or life a meaningless existence until you eventually kill yourself.
I went for acknowledging and improving it. It doesn't get rid of the suffering, but it makes it a lot more bearable and I have at least one purpose.
| But if you want to continue with the existence you're currently living, then, ay. Keep telling yourself that you're realistic instead of mentally ill and you can keep at it. I don't blame you if you do.
| Op, I literally feel like you. Each and every word.
| >>756057 In my opinion, you just changed your interpretation of the very same meaningless life. It is not like your interpretation is factually better. It is just less painful. But I think a depressed worldview truer than "worldviews" from professional help sites. Yeah, you can make yourself believe that suddenly someone cared about you all along, or that your job is not a fucking garbage. You can also take pills that supress all your emotions. But it sounds so "fake" to me.
| If staying true to myself might lead to a suicide then so be it.
| Or maybe not. It is not like this world has any truth left, so maybe I am just being stubborn.
| If I don't get a yandere gf this year I'm going to become the joker.
| >>756070
Genuinely convincing yourself that nobody cares about you is what's "fake". If you're so caught up on your own bubble that you're unable to form relationships with people, that's not you being realistic. I'm sorry buddy.
>>756072
It's not even stubbornness at that point. It's just, delusion. You're literally choosing to view the world and yourself in a way that makes you depressed. Then when you acknowledge that you're viewing it that way you choose to keep it that way.
| Your "truth" isn't truth. It's a bubble that you've created with only yourselves, your depression and your overthinking inside of it. The more people you let into your world, the closer you are to the truth. When you view things from multiple different angles and perspectives, that's when you get closer to the truth.
But you, one single person who closes themself off and sits alone believing that the thoughts you created on your own is the truth of the world, that's far from it.
| This is not meant to be insulting in any way btw, because as I stated earlier, I've been the exact same way. I was for such a long time and I still am like that sometimes. But I acknowledged that I alone and the thoughts I've created on my own, closed off from other people, that's not how the world is. That's not "truth". It's just me accepting depression and giving up on having a life.
That's why I'm telling you this.
| >>756098
While you're at it, mind sharing some resources to help develop and solidify a healthier mindset? Well, assuming those exist. I'm kinda dealing with something similar, and I have started actually handling on my own so far with *some* success, but it's really hard and it's not going as well as I'd hope.
| >>756104
Sadly, I don't have any. I didn't use any. I went to weekly therapy sessions, and in my own time I socialised a lot both irl and online. It helped keep me going for a while, and then right as I couldn't stand it anymore and was planning suicide one of the people I'd recently met and become very close with helped me through it and helped me change my mindset and see things clearer again.
Kinda just went at it alone, talked to people and eventually got saved by one of them.
| So, what I recommend the most is: therapy, hobbies and socialising.
Therapy helps with better understanding how you view things and why, and can help you clear up your mind.
Hobbies that require some level of skill can be very good since they distract you and help you feel progress and self-improvement.
Socialising is very good because it helps you see things from different angles and the bonds you form help a lot with giving you purpose and figuring out how to change your mindset.
| Another reason why therapy is so important is that depression can sometimes be caused by chemical imbalances in your brain. In my case and in most cases depression is something that happens because of things that have happened in your life, things you struggle with, the way you view things etc.
But, sometimes it's chemical imbalances which means that the only way to feel normal again is by getting medical treatment on top of everything I just listed.
| >>756096
or maybe i was abused, discarded and isolated as a child.
>>756098
well, my brain just defaults to hearing it as hurt.
chemicals sound sad
| >>756160
>or maybe i was abused, discarded and isolated as a child.
That's most likely the reason why you started feeling that way, but I don't see what point you're trying to make. The reason why it's like that doesn't change anything.
>well, my brain just defaults to hearing it as hurt.
Well, doesn't it sound nice to not always default to taking things negatively?
>chemicals sound sad
Not sure if you're referring to meds or imbalances, but, neither are fun of course.
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| i find being alive uninteresting and tiresome. you might think this is emotions speaking, depression at first. but how is it that when i seriously think about it, i don't care about living?
when i don't like a game, maybe it is too hard or too unlikable, i don't enjoy it, so i put it down.
i don't care that much about death either. do people feel morally obligated to want to change your mind about this? that is how i feel. i talk about myself so why do you tell me how you see it?