danger/u/
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If there’s someone toxic in your life, it can be almost unbearable. Learning how to talk to a narcissist can be one of the most difficult tasks you will ever experience.

| My entire life has been engulfed in a narcissistic fog. My parents, my friends, and my romantic partners have all exhibited narcissistic behavior around me. Now, I even see some of those traits in myself. I would surmise that some of my own traits came from a traumatic childhood, while some of them developed over time as a defensive measure.


| One of the most difficult things I am trying to learn is how to talk to a narcissist. Because let’s face it, there’s just too many of them and total escape is impossible.

When talking to a narcissist, there are things you should do and things you should avoid. If you don’t learn how to talk to a narcissist in the correct manner, you will compromise your mental health and self-image.


| 1. Call them out

Okay, before you do this, I need you to remember that calling a narcissist out will make them angry, act confused or quickly deny your statement. So, depending on what sort of narcissistic relationship you have, this will determine if this step is right for you.


| Please read this whole thread before using this subtitle and jumping in a narcissist’s face about a lie or issues. Yes, they lie, and no, they probably will not admit it either. But if the mood seems peaceful, then calmly tell them that you know they are lying, and then say no more.


| The narcissist might ask you something like, “What are you talking about?” or something of this nature, but it’s quite alright to say nothing more. The important part of this step is to let them know that you know.

Remember that a narcissist’s intention is to make you believe every bit of toxic syrup that flows from their mouths. Your job is to let them know that it doesn’t work…that’s all.


| 2. Get to know the truth

One way to effectively know how to talk to a narcissist is to get to their root. As many people know, narcissists act the way they do because they secretly have a poor image of themselves or they have a deep well of emptiness within them. To those who don’t see and understand this, the narcissist will appear to have elevated self-esteem, but this is a well-practiced cover-up.


| Pay attention to the neediness and the desire for attention that is always at the forefront of the narcissist’s mind. These needs are designed to fill a space that can never be filled in this manner, hence the intensity of their actions.

Even though understanding them will help you converse with them, you should never use their problems as a reason to let them abuse you. Knowing these things about them just helps you remember your own worth is not based on how they act.


| 3. Set boundaries

This is important to remember when talking to a narcissist. No matter what’s going on between you and this toxic person, keep your boundaries in mind. You must uphold solid boundaries when talking to them so you can be kind to yourself.

Now, here’s the most difficult part: When you understand your boundaries, you must also understand what you absolutely will not do in a relationship with a narcissist.


| When you discover what those things are, then under no circumstances should you compromise those boundaries. That’s because these boundaries were made to remind you of your worth, and also remind narcissists that you cannot be controlled.

While boundaries might not make them happy, they will see their manipulation is not working.


| 4. Use extra caution

When learning how to talk to a narcissist, you must be especially careful during the conversation. A narcissist will seem as though they are having a normal conversation, and then suddenly, say something ridiculous. Sometimes they do this to gauge your reaction and see how much they can get away with. They are actually testing those boundaries you set from above.


| Once they have breached your boundaries, they will do it over and over again. This is why you must carefully think before you speak to them, and never let them take advantage of you when you converse.

If you have set strong boundaries or if you have standards you wish to uphold, DO NOT let them undermine or discredit you because of what you believe. They may also criticize you and make you angry. Try not to fall for the trap and hold your reserves.


| 5. Stop oversharing

I think one of the worst things we do with narcissists is telling them everything about ourselves. Now, don’t beat yourself up if you’ve done this because narcissists have a way of sweet-talking others into being more open. They want walls down and defenses gone. This is so they can learn secrets to use against you.


| The best thing to do is stop sharing too much about yourself. Learn to control what you tell other people like this. If you stop over-sharing, the narcissist will learn that they are not in control after all. Yes, eventually they may grow tired and leave the relationship, but you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life anyway.


| 6. Be strong

The most important thing to remember when learning how to talk to a narcissist is to be strong. A narcissist will try to bring you down in order to lift themselves up. It’s just how they function, honestly.

Just keep in mind that you are beautiful, strong, loving, generous and filled with so much life. Do not let a toxic person like this tell you lies about who you are.


| Watch out for brazen insults, transferred blame, silent treatment, and other covert actions. Do not believe the things they say about you until you understand any of these things to be true.

When you are insulted by the narcissist, just let the insults fade from your mind. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! Learn to recognize when the narcissist is attempting to put you down and remember that it’s because they cannot lift themselves up without doing this.


| When all else fails…

Unfortunately, times come when getting away from the narcissist completely is the only way to have a normal and healthy life. I wish that this trait could be easily changed, but it’s not that simple.

It’s rare that a narcissist will completely change their ways, and so you have to learn how to deal with it without compromising yourself, or you just have to cut all ties.


| I hope this has helped you understand the narcissist, and I wish you the best in dealing with these individuals in your life. Be happy and be well!


| Gee someone I know someone who needs to read this but since they quoted something from here I guess they already read it and decided to ignore everything.

>>728203 they need to learn this so much and also to be patient enough with people and no assume everyone who criticises them is a narcissist



| I will contribute to the thread and share a link explaining the condition so others can identify a narcissist

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662#:~:text=Narcissistic%20personality%20disorder%20%E2%80%94%20one%20of,lack%20of%20empathy%20for%20others.


| Yo, nice of you to post half the thread as the title itself. Another blog post of a horrible thread hidden


| >>728266 I wonder... what is the word limit for a thread?


| >>ae56d4
You're the resident narcisist from /new/, right?


| >>728267 ok there is no set limit in to the actual number of words, but it just reaches a point where the thread wont load and the page crashes


| >>728268 define narcissist, that world has been thrown around so much by some people there, I doubt most people there even know what naecisism is


| >>728270
The OP guy isn't even talking about narcissism - you're right, the term is used so loosely that a narcissist can just be an evil person. Not all evil people have mental disorders. I don't know why the OP is so obsessed with narcissism.
Also, to the OP: narcissists freely admit to being narcissists.


| >>728291 and OPs advice is too confrontational to begin with, the best way to avoid a narcissist is to ignore and avoid them but it seems everyone around OP is a narcissist so I feel bad for them, in many ways


| This is fucking stupid. /new/ is there for a reason, don't bring your collective shit fit here


| >>728299 true OP should kept it to themselves, or even better, make a new thread on /new/ to keep the people there.


| Doesn't really fall under news or politics though. And OP's just giving his advice. I don't see the problem with discussion on /u/.
If anything though, maids do have the power to move threads to other boards


| >>728304 there was a thread in /new/ where someone kept calling people others narcissists whenever a major disagreement happened and the way of talking and lack of definition of a narcissists makes it seem like OP is that person, of course there is no solid proof but the timming was on point and OP is is aware of the threads on /new/.

Also please ignore this if possible, lets just leave this discussion, Im not stopping you, Its just a suggestion, stay safe.


| >>728196 this thing sound as joke for me "^^


| Narcissus is a nice flower tho


| >>728410 true


| >>728307
I think there's only 1 person that has been called a narcisist in /new/ by several people over a long time and it has never been used to deflect a disagreement in any debate as far as I have seen. In fact people have been nice enough to explain themselves to him several times.

It's the same guy that derails threads until the mods lock them up. It's always that one sole poster in every locked thread.


| >>728469
cont

I always ignore him. Every single time. But other people don't and that's fine but it makes this site worse and less fun to use imo.

The way he attempts to derail almost every single thread and takes personal offense when people ask him to stop is kinda silly.


| Either way, this thread was never supposed to be about him(yet he made it so, again) or /new/ or even this site. Sorry if I that wasn't clear from my opening posts.


| >>728469 its always the same 2 people there so its not multiple and it is clear by your reactions that you are the 1 person who keeps calling the one other a narcissist

And if you talk about /new/ got to /new/, nobody here wants to hear about the cancer that goes there


| >>728473
Please just drop it. This thread was never supposed to be about your problems in /new/. Please, I beg you. Don't drag your personal issues here.


| >>728475 how about you go back to /new/ and never use any other board again.


| >>728476 this, OP is just bringing shit talk from /new/ to /u/


| >>728291
>Also, to the OP: narcissists freely admit to being narcissists.
This is not true.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_defences


| >>728476 >>728477
This isn't news, politics or even personal. If you don't like it then don't post I guess?


| >>728476 and btw Im the the so called narcissist from /new/

https://boards.dangeru.us/new/thread/727405

And this is the thread OP is talking about for those who want to see.

Now how YOU let got of your hurt fellings?(as you like to say to tell me to do).


| >>728480
Stop bringing /new/ to my thread, please!!!


| >>728478 you are a narcissist, you keep treat me like im inferior, everytime I criticize you, you lash out and call me a narcissist while throwing insults, and even when I say that your are right, or when I agree with you, you act like an asshole.

You are the narcissist, you are projecting shit onto me.
You keep talking about how I deviate threads yet you ar ethe one who keeps talking about me even on threads that Im not in, so get some sense


| >>728482
I'm humbly asking you to stop posting about yourself and /new/ in this thread. This was never the topic.


| >>728481 you brought it!!! You called me!!! So face the consequences


| >>728483 OP: thread was never about you!!

Also OP: >>728268

https://boards.dangeru.us/new/thread/713883
Oh and another thread that shows OPs attitude.

You are the the narcissist projecting your whatevers on me, you are the problem and you are the one who keeps talking about me, it became personal because you kept talking about me. Learn the lesson already


| >>728493
This was never about you. How can I make this any more clear so you can stop posting about yorself here? Ask me anything.

Also, no, that still isn't me.


| Here we fucking go its /new/ all over again, 2 idiots mocking eachother. And I would say that both are in the wrong but OP was getting all bitchy from the start just like >>728493 showed.



| >>728496
Wait, when have I ever been bitchy?


| >>728497
-in the thread at >>728480(just finished it)
-when you asked if I were >>728493 at>>728268
->>728469 >>728471 >>728472 this whole thing was also bitchy as fuck, you felt the need to defend yourself even when>>728307 said that they were not sure if you were the person or not
-your overall attitude has been really bitchy in this thread, most of your advice is terrible and confrontational
-if >>728482 is right(I am starting to think he is) then you are the real narcissist


| Looks like certain matters can't be talked about on nu-danger/u/ without it turning into a shitfest. I know that I would never attempt a thread about narcisism after reading this mess. Self-censorship at its finest. Hilarious read though. Turning a thread about narcisism into a debate about yourself is comedy gold.


| >>728494 you called me and it is your fault, you made this whole thread to talk about narcissists yet you failed to talk about without bringing me up. If it really werent about me then you would have given more examples than just "my family is full of narcissist" wich is very hard to belive, you broke the thread by acussing others of being me and getting all defensive, also when will you learn that wiki pedia sucks, give me a your actual good sources


| >>728500 also this, OP is really just projecting


| >>728500
I don't think I have been bitchy in this thread at all. You're comming of as kinda confrontial yourself tbh. I'm very sorry if I upset you somehow.

I'm more interested in your input on the topic at hand. I don't think my advice is too confrontional at all. Which of my points do you think are too confrontional? And terrible? I'm not claiming to be an expert just sharing my personal experience. But I would love to hear a more evaluated input from you.


| >>728501 blame OP for giving bad advice, telling lies and calling others narcissists with little to no definitions


| now this is how you troll danger/u/. put the bait out and have these morons do all the work pissing all over the place. good show op. good show


| >>728505 your whole advice is based of the idea that you should talk to narcissists, wich is dumb AF, not only that but stuff like "calling the out" and "set boundaries" already implies that you should seek to disagree with them

At that, why do you even assume narcissists lie? They mostly exagerate the truth and avoid confrontation, the best thing to do is leave them be and not interact, they want attention, dont give them that


| >>728509
I think you misunderstood me. Sometimes you have to talk to narcisistic people like family, friends of friends, co-workers etc etc. I never meant that you should seek them out just to talk to them in anyway.

I disagree with your notion that never talking to a narcisisticc person is dumb. Sometimes you have to.

How would you behave if a person at work started showing signs of narcisistic tendensies for example? The silent treatment?


| If you keep talking and confronting them you will end up more hurt, more angry and more tired, just go away and leave them alone, they can not hurt you if you are not near them, narcissits are shit but only if you let them near

I wanna know more of your familly and friends since they are the narcissists that reason are fucking with your life and making you go to internet so much


| >>728509
At that, why do you even assume narcissists lie?

Wikipedia and personal experience is what I base this assumption on. The narcissistic personality disorder is a somewhat broadish spectrum and being interpersonally exploitative and lacking empathy are common traits.


| >>728510 "How would you behave if a person at work started showing signs of narcisistic tendensies for example? The silent treatment?"

I treat them like any other person, showing signs means jack shit if they have not done anything to you yet and if they gave silent treatment its their problem not mine, i can just tell my boss that they are not cooperating


| >At that, why do you even assume narcissists lie?

Was supposed to be a quote in that last post.

>not only that but stuff like "calling the out" and "set boundaries" already implies that you should seek to disagree with them

I fail to see your point here. If someone lied to me at work I would call them out no question. I don't think this is me seeking disagreements at all. Please evaluate if you feel like it.


| And setting boundaries is very important if you have to engage with a person trying to exploit you, or making you feel bad.

A lot of users on this site has been sharing stories and experiences about feeling exploited or lied to by their crush/ex etc and having clear boundaries would help prevent that. Just know when and where you stand.


| >>728513 if you keep looking for signs of narcissism you will find them in every single person you meet, relax for one, not every douchebag out there is a narcissist, the world is full of idios and entitled people, not all of them are narcissist and wikipidea is ass for fiding disorders

Btw your attitude isnt the best either, you showed some traits, so >>6bf0c7 might not be right if we go by your definition of a narcissist.


| >>728514
I guess I should've specified that they're showing narcisistic tendensies towards you. My bad.

I never, as you seem to assume, claimed that you should seek out and behave differently towards people with narcisistic tendensies in any way.


| >>728518
Where did you get the notion that I look for signs of narcisism in people? Why do you bring this up?


| >>728515 lies on what? If they lie about minor stuff like their personal lives, love quarrels and other shit that does not, and should should not, disturb your job then why bother?


| >>728519 narcissists do not show tendencies to just one person, it is a mental condition that they usually don not know they have and can not hide it because its in their brains

Sounds like you have a problem with assholes not narcissists


| >>728521
>If they lie about minor stuff like their personal lives,
This is a non-issue. Not even worth mentioning. If someone does this I just nod and excuse myself.

I'm refering to the process of lying to exploit or to shift blame towards you. Ignoring something like this can have consequenses and it's better to deal with it head on. This I know from experience.


| >>728520 you keep talking about people showing signs, tendencies, and you keep calling people narcissists, and being an ass about it too, in a small anonymous board

You might not see it, but you are really paranoic of narcissits, it seems like a phobia ever thought about doing therapy or counsseling? You must have some really ingrained traumas if you just go accusing people of being narcissits


| >>728522
Well, Wikipedia is right about the same time as the textbooks and I certainly trust them more than you right now, for example.
According to wikipedia(and I assume the sources they link) narcisistic people can indeed be somewhat aware of their behaviours and will deny them if asked or confronted.


| >>728524 you don not need to be a narcissist to do that

I got a hommie who met 2 woman who would emmotionaly abuse him and his other friend with shit like suicide, rape, fake familly and etc, they werent narcissists, turns out one was a sadist and the other was depressed as hell and wanted to feel in control of someone for once in her life

Not all assholes are narcissists


| >>728525
>and you keep calling people narcissists

Are you deliberately lying right now? I asked one guy a single time if he was the resident /new/ narcisist. Not that it matters but I kinda used it as a meme. You're looking way to much into that one-liner.

I mean, you're not happy with me but at least don't exagarate or lie to get your point across.


| >>728527
>you don not need to be a narcissist to do that
No, but narcisists tend to do just that.


| >>728526 >if asked or confronted
Ok, fair, but who would not deny that they are a narcissist? Every normal person would deny it when confronted, just because a guy is coughing doent mean he is sick

If doctors can not recommend self diagnosing immagine then a person who diagnose others based of wikipidia articles and possibly biased personal experience?


| >>728525
>You might not see it, but you are really paranoic of narcissits, it seems like a phobia ever thought about doing therapy or counsseling? You must have some really ingrained traumas if you just go accusing people of being narcissits

Again, I'm not doing that. You're clearly misunderstanding my posts. And I'm not interested in making this personal, sorry. Every other attempt at this will be ignored.


| you had me in the beginning, I didn't agree with everything you said but it was a nice read. The subsequent replies and angry arguments not so much...


| >>728529 emotionaly abused, rape vicmims, househood violence, abused children, pathological liars, klepto maniacs, psychopaths, sociopaths and a whole lot of other clinically and mentally ill types then to just do that

You are not able, trained or qualified to diagnose people, all you can do is guess based of internet articles and personal experience that others can not confirm nor see


| >>728531 ok dude, just know that if you really have been abused you should seek professional help, not self diagnose and chats with idiots on the internet who you cant even know


| >>728533
>You are not able, trained or qualified to diagnose people
Never claimed that I was able to do that. In fact I hinted at the opposite. Never claimed that it's what I'm set out to do either.

It's true that several of my advice can be applied to other people too. I do believe they are sound and useful after all.

But the people mentioned in my opening posts showed me more signs of narcisistic behaviours than any other personality disorders hence my choice of word.


| >>728531 after getting confronted and having his biases exposed, the narcissist OP insists on not talking about his possibly fake life full of narcissists who are just bumholes, and decides to not talk about the main theme of the thread before he gets exposed for not knowing what a narcissist is and how mentally screwed up he is.
The end... maybe


| >>728541 if your main problem is with narcissits then you should know what a narcissist it, you know you are not sure but you insist in acting that way towards people, look you should really talk to a professional about it stying here will only stress you more


| >>728542 you are not helping


| >>728544
I know what narcisism is(obviously) but I never claimed I was able to successfully diagnose a person with my limited knowledge, or that I ever wanted to.

You can display narcisitic behaviours without being a diagnosed narcisist and my advice works just as well with dealing with those people as with real narcisists(I assume).

>but you insist in acting that way towards people
No, I never did this either. Where do you get all these notions from?


| If someone displays narcisistic behaviours towards you(or anyone around you) to the point it turns into a problem the advice from my opening posts can be of help, is what I was set out to share.


| >>728551 denying wont help, you accuse people of being narcissists, you did it 2 times in this thread and you did it on other threads, people you dont even know are chalked up as narcissists in your head, this is not something normal and I ask you to please seek a professional and talk to them about all of your issues, it will be more productive than venting about it on the internet and leave yourself exposed to people that can offend you


| >>728552 your advice may not work and you just ended up bringing more stress to yourself

This site will not solve and not even help your problems and if you intent was to spread advice you should have considered that you dont are not a professional

Next time you need or help or be helped recomment them professional help and talking to close people, this is the best advice possible


| I agree with the other people who are doubting OP. If everyone around you is a narcissist it's kinda suspicious. Also narcissist and "toxic" are overused words. It gets used like a weapon to make someone a villain. The most truly toxic people are the people who call others toxic.


| Now, o have not bothered to fully read everything here because it seems, redundant. But, basically:

OP seems delusional. The word narcissist is used incorrectly. I mean, the thread starts with OP describing compulsive liars, is very different, and the way he says to handle it is a horrible way to handle it, and saying that they don't want to acknowledge it is wrong, because compulsive lying is a disorder and habit caused by trauma, and usually never something they want to do.


| Also, to be straight up, from what I read it sounds like OP has quite the superiority complex.

Genuinely. It sounds like they take their own irrational assumptions and feelings and view it as truth.

Now, I don't blame them. OP even said themself that they have childhood trauma, and, well, it's very apparent.

The only thing I've gotten out of this thread is that OP isn't okay and needs help, and I really hope they get it.


| >>728636 yep, my best recommendation to OP is to seek professional help, using the internet to solve his problems and help others when he himself doesnt seem to be in a good state is just asking for trouble


| >>f97a83 thb Im starting to thing op is a narcissist themselves, if you looked at how he behaves in other threads...

Its straight up a superiority complex even when you admite they are right they still find something to be offended and starts throwing insults


https://boards.dangeru.us/new/thread/727405 best example of it



| FFS stop making threads outside of /news/ to bitch out each other. Make a fucking discord or something, jesus christ. If I see this shit again it's just getting locked.

Total number of posts: 95, last modified on: Wed Jan 1 00:00:00 1609982076

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