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Is life easier as a guy?
| I think everyone equally has problems getting their shit together. The only problems I have are:
1) I'm pretty much expected to handle my own problems with almost no help on top of helping others. This can stressful as hell if feels like everything is falling apart.
2) I can't be too emotional cuz that's a negative thing. This is shitty cuz I'm naturally an emotional dude.
3) If everything in my life goes wrong and I can't turn to my family for help I'm fucked.
| If you're good looking, socially capable and confident then life is running on EZ mode so if switching genders would make you more confident then yeah
| I dunno what the guys go through but I'm sure being lonely and getting turned down on a daily basis would be pretty taxing for your health.
| >>704685 I guess a TLDR to what I'm trying to say is that as a guy I'm expected to be a solid foundation for myself and everyone else around me. Though other guys may or may not agree cuz everyone is raised differently.
| Just men from where im from arent ridiculed when they make a mistake idk seems like the world is much more forgiving to men when they screw up
| >>704701 I'm hispanic and my folks are a bit old-fashioned so that pretty much sums up where my views came from. I was also born in a very democratic place which probably conflicts with what I mentioned earlier.
| Depends on your socialization. If you were socialized as fuckboy then emotion prohibition, other stigmas and overall indifference of you and your well-being just may crush you.
| Men are generally seen as expendable in comparison to women, so... it depends.
| I guess you can't say life is easier as x or y, simply because it depends on your upringing, the society you life in, the people you meet, the experiences and your desicions you make and so on.
Still I more or less second what >>704686 said, confidence and your social competence matters. Regarding looks average is enough though.
Anyway kinda interesting to read that because I wonder a lot if my life would be better if I were female.
| Iirc some statistics show that men struggle a little bit more to survive, and often have the shittiest jobs in laboral market.
However, I understand that women may have other constant problems related to their biology and culture in general (ie being seen as inferior in some scientifical circles, I've seen that quite often, sadly).
| If you were a dude, maybe you'd be more socially pressured to persue something, which would lead to act quickly and just go for the immediate best option which could be actually the best in long term, or you could end up taking the dumbest decisions, and graduate at 30 like me lol
| >>704723 are you kidding? Seems like the other way around tbh
>>704736 sometimes i just catch myself feeling that if i were a guy i would've been able to push myself to take more risks idk. I live somewhere conservative so women are more "sheltered" and has to deal with bigger pressure. Though i get it that There is a huge pressure in men to get their shit together but honestly men seems to get away with more things
| >>704741 that's true. Is that what happened to you? Though i dont really judge u for graduating at 30. It's just a degree. I have bosses who never even finished college.
| >>704708 ah i get that. Hispanic ppl do have that toxic masculinity culture. It's kind of the same with asians, but i think hispanics are more old fashioned. Sorry to hear that.
| >>704744 >disposability
i think it depends. I've seen a lot of ideas of men where they're expected to be somehow independent of society - determining everything in their life themselves and if they're seen as dependent or not producing the right kind of person spontaneously, they're inherently worthless - can't change, can't be affected by the environment. Both from more conservative people and relatively progressive but not really mindful people
| While for women it seems like it's more like just valuing them less, which includes disposability (especially in relation to men it seems like), but a lot of men don't see it
| Man, having these stupid-ass genders and whole cultures and expectations built around them fucking sucks. Can you even imagine how much easier life would have been without any of this bullshit? Such a shame it's not going to happen, not anytime soon anyway
| Life is easier as a boy. They don't even have to exist.
| >>704744
I don't know your situation but what I'll say is you can get out of that situation if you feel like it's holding you back, just being a man might mean there was less pressure under your circumstances, but you don't have control over that, I think it's better to examine what you want and what you *can* do to get it even if it means moving to a new place with different ideals or taking some risks
| I understand why you would think that, but, it's not really true. There are upsides and downsides to everything. While it's sad that it still is like this, males are expected to be a certain way and females are expected to be a certain way.
As someone who has a lot of typically feminine personality traits but is male, I mean, it ain't easy. Really isn't. There's only one person in the world that I can truly be myself around, and getting my shit together? I'm doing the opposite.
| >>704746 It's whatever tbh. I may complain about it, but I actually don't think it's toxic or whatever. I can see the good intentions behind it. It's meant to make us more stoic so we can face difficulties better later on in life. The only problem is that the execution generally sucks.
| Dang this thread is actually pretty good. Lots of interesting insights, so that's cool.
I'm a girl raised in a very open culture, so I don't think I have much to add. I'm expected to finish college and make a living on my own, but my family will be just as happy if I get married and just be a stay-at-home mom. I have both masculine and feminine interests, and no one ever gave me flak for it.
I realise I'm extraordinarily lucky. I wish everyone can be as open as this.
| Gonna lurk here, this is an actually good thread
| I would say that it is it's own toss of the dice, and me as a socially awkward fuck with no stable friends, let alone stable anything is probably set for disaster.
| But I don't think it's easy for either, everything has its ups and downs.
| Well being a man also sucks, especially if you dont fall into the ideal male category, no woman wil care about you, other guys wont really give any support, society expects you to get better by yourself and if anything you are a loser
| Don't pay my throwaway comment too much attention, I guess.
| It all falls down to whether you can fit the stereotypes or not.
The difference I'd see is that women in general have a harder time even if they follow stereotypes, due to gender inequality, but that men are in deep shit if they don't follow stereotypes.
I might be wrong, but it feels like a woman can more or less do whatever she wants, she'll see many obstacles but that's it. A man can easily do what he's expected to do, but leaving those expectations will be hard as fuck.
| >>705096 that's true. There are a few lucky ones who steps out of the norm and succeeds with flying colors but then there are people who tries to step out and fail miserably.
Hm, maybe this could be a 'the grass is greener on the other side' thing?
| >>704754 well it's just that women are wired differently and is expected to be more "mature" and "mindful" of their choices despite if they're young or old. Once you make a mistake, society isn't as forgiving as the are with the opposite sex. It's "you should already know about this!" Vs "oh he's still a young man, of course he'll make mistakes sometimes, but he'll learn." And this is solely based from what i see in the environment i live.
| >>704858 I do see the pros of it but i think it also sucks where there are others who don't do it properly. Some just shut dowm the idea of vulnerability altogether. Glad that it's not the case for you if you don't think it's suffocating. The toxic masculinity on my ex's family was on a different level. They're expected to not show weakness and also to cheat and screw around because "that's what a real man would do." Or whatever the heck that was about. (He's hispanic,too.)
| I tried to read it but fuck it. TLDR no.
| The only thing i havent seen commented on in this thread is that your usually expected to compete alot more with the people around when you're a guy and when you don't try to conpete and brag how much smarter you are or how much better your grades are or life is then other guys usually look down on you
| Long answer and short answer is no. Woman will say yes and bring up a lot of shit but truthfully right now many but not all women have much easier lives than men.
Some things that make it easier are preferential treatment even if they aren't away of it such as not going to jail for rape at times, getting that job at the bank or whatever other place because they prefer a pretty face, making money from simps (people say oh men could do it too if they weren't sending dick pics)
| Just being a woman will also make it more likely that you find a partner even if you aren't that good looking and it also makes online dating a breeze if that's your thing.
| >>705361
As woman I can inform you that online dating is definitely not a breeze. It's very time consuming to weed trough a bunch of liars, assholes and criminals to find the dateable ones.
| >>705457 just saying, having to choose is better then having to search for hours to only have the chance to meet someone nice, also there are also female liars, assholes and criminals
| >>705464 i kinda see what you mean. Guys usually just hope to match with someone while girls have the opportunity to choose. However i think that's also the case when i guy is good looking. So basically we're going on a whole different tangent of the existence of pretty privilege (which is, in fact, very real)
| Imagine your network of friends, acquaintances, frenemies, the social groups you are a part of, your emotional support network and all the people who you say hi to every day.
Now throw them all out.
The average man has two friends, who are often only acquaintances or co-workers.
You cannot be emotionally vulnerable, not even to them.
You are expected to support others. If you cannot, you are expected to die.
| I have a low sex drive or general sexual problems as a woman (psychologically). I really wish i would be a guy just to jerk off and live sexuality freely.
| >>705875 sounds more like you are sexually frustrated and decides to call it low sex drive, you can masturbate as much as you feel like it and there is nothing telling you to not do it.
| What is sexual frustration? I can't masturbate. I grew up with lots of self hatred and disgust for these topics. I really cant masturbate, i dont know how to do it. As a female. For guys its way easier because it's not that psychological and the have that thing
| >>705881 uh hell no! Nobody is born knowing how to do it, its not a male exclusive thing, you need to talk about that with a psychologist or something, it not easier for guys to do it, its about a personal journey and if didnt have it then its a you problem, it isnt because you are a woman its because you had a trauma or something about it
| >>705893 >>705883 >>others i think a lot of people are looking at thing they didn't experience here like they don't happen, but it's an international board. It sounds like (i'd throw a wild guess) l have a woman who was raised very conservatively and an american man, and so the problems they see for men and women are different then they might be for someone with another background
| (guess i shouldn't have tried to quote 'others' lol)
and *we have
| Women play life on easy mode
| >>706052
I, no. I understand the point that's trying to be made in >>705838, but it's just false. Like, g/u/rl, I'm sorry to hear that you're lonely and having a hard time opening up to people. I also understand that social norms promote that, because they generally do. I have all of that though, because I, well, I chose to. I opened up to people, I built relationships and social networks etc. I have 10+ people that I can talk about feelings and stuff with when I need or want to.
| Formatting is fag. Damn. Just pretend I didn't fuck up and that it doesn't hurt your eyes to read >>706125
| >>706125
Most men (age 25+) I know are kind of lonely. Also, you respond to an statement based mostly on personal experience with a statement based on your personal experience... So it's not a very solid argument too...
| >>706131
Well, that was kind of the point. The statement I responded to was talking as if their personal experience was, well, the case for everyone. So I responded with my own personal experience which is, well, not like that at all. It's not a blanket thing.
| >>706137
That's great for you and I'm happy to hear you have a solid surviving network. But my point is that the average man is lonely, either half or two-thirds of men, depending on your preferred study.
Men and women tend to quantify their loneliness differently (quantity vs quality), with the average loneliness being negative bell curves of each other; men are more lonely in middle age and women are more lonely when young and when old.
| >>706154 can confirm got no friends right now and the ones I did have I couldn't talk to about anything really personal. I'd say a large majority of the world is like that with people having friends they can't actually open up to unless you live a less stressing environment where people have the time and luxury to develop such "normal" behaviours
| Boners
| >>706172
I still dislike the whole "can't" when it comes to opening up. The way I got such a big network was by saying fuck it and start casually opening up to people I thought I couldn't open up to. Obviously that won't be the case with every single person you meet, but I feel like people who blame society for not having anyone to open up to when they don't even attempt opening up to people is, idk. At least give it a shot. If it works it works, if it doesn't it doesn't.
| >>706221 "just open up lol" is the same as "just don't be sad lol".
I do agree that it is not necessarily a gender issue in a biological sense, but rather a society issue. Difference in upbringing and socialization lead to such differences in perception of genders. And I feel like most of this thread is just that - it's all discussion of the society.
Let's just all agree that society sucks and finish thread at that
| >>706232
Saying that my post is the same is "just open up lol" shows very clearly that you didn't get my point.
I'm not saying that this shit isn't a problem in society. It is, I acknowledge it, and I'm affected by it. But a lot of people use that as an excuse to never try.
It's the same as with depression and shit, you know? You can't chose to not be depressed, but you can slowly but surely take steps towards getting help, bettering your life and getting a better mindset.
| So, basically, society is flawed as fuck and makes things really hard for the people living in it, but never trying to make things better or taking steps in the right direction while sitting passively with the mindset of: "Everything bad is because of society. I will never be happy or have close friends because of society. I can't do anything because society won't allow it." is just the same as choosing to stay like that.
| >>704660
Thats an illusion. Both in a sense that you have a wrong view of it, and in a sense that boys usually imitate this kind of "assertive aura"
| Grow a pair and do what we boys do. What do we do? We grow a pair because we are expected to. You can try that, everyone loves a woman who's got balls.
(Insert trap joke here cuz big funny)
Life isn't easy regardless of gender. Pursue your dreams OP.
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| Honestly, i just think i would've done better if i was a boy. Feel like i would have gotten my shit together and actually pursued something if i wasn't stuck in this stupid female body, yknow what i mean? Idk what's the struggle of being a dude? I want to know