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Socially anxious and lonely.
| As for my age, let's just say it's been quite a few years since I've been legally allowed to drink, so I'm not just another oh-so-desperate teen. Despite the fact that I feel like one quite often. I have always preferred books and games to people and missed any and all opportunities to acquire necessary skills to socialize, and now it hurts me like you wouldn't believe. I have no idea how to meet new people and make myself interesting to them. My shitty looks don't help either.
| And the whole COVID thing definitely put a stop to any attempt to get out there, but it's not like I was going to do that anyway.
I'm not even sure what I want out of this thread. I don't really think it can be helped. And even if I work on myself in the future, that's still not gonna stop me from feeling shitty right now. Just venting, if anything. But I really wish there was someone to hold me tight right now (or let me hold them, I'm okay with anything at this point)
| Look up the fourth episode. It's good.
| >>665592
The fourth episode of what? Also, why?
>>665595
Does it really matter? Let's say somewhere in the post-soviet states. I'm not narrowing it down further.
| >>665826 The gal asking for your location was maybe considering giving you a hug. I dunno.
Anything you like and do as a hobby except for games and books? Maybe try to find a group for DnD or something. Offline, not online ofc. Get to know people, man!
| >>665984
Probably. What is also probable is that I'll probably spontaneously combust if a stranger tries to give me a hug.
Hobbies are kinda hard to do when working a 9 to 6 job with 2 hours total of daily commute. And living in a rather small city, for most hobbies I have I can only find a community online. DnD included. Even then, I can only interact with people when it comes to that hobby. Outside of that I quickly lose things to talk about and become my boring old self.
| >>665990
That's not being boring. That's completely normal. Yhat schedule though, that sounds horrible. I feel bad for you g/u/rl.
| >>665992
Well, all things considered, it's not too terrible of a schedule. I get home around 7 PM and have some time for dinner, chores and and hour of two of gaming.
How is that not boring though? I can only talk about something I'm actively participating in at the moment. If I don't have any mutual hobbies with the person I'm talking to they might as well be talking to a rock. I don't have any funny stories or anecdotes from life to share, and my other hobbies are pretty niche.
| >>665995
You just have other interests than most people. That's not boring. Small talk is fucking cancer no matter if you're good at it or not, and unless you're talking about something you have an interest in it's usually just gonna be small talk. You might think you're boring, but you really aren't. You're completely normal.
| >>666001
Well, I've been led to believe over the years by my relatives, classmates, friends, colleagues and some other people that I am indeed pretty boring. It may or may not have something to do with either not having same or similar interests, or with being extremely reserved and not really perceiving anything I have to say as something of some value. And anyway, I usually only have a passing interest in things, so there isn't really any passion behind it when I speak about them
| >>666104
So, to paraphrase that a bit, I just haven't met right people yet? And should either be more patient or more actively seek out someone in my hobbies' communities?
>>666126
Well, that's unfortunate. Also my point still stands regarding spontaneous combustion upon meeting strangers. Appreciate the offer though.
>>666135
Yeah, but it's kind of... A necessary evil, isn't it? Usually you can't just go deep into discussing your hobbies with someone straight away.
| I used to be in a similar position like you, one of the main things that helped me change was correcting my overall posture by researching orthotropics. When your body is not in alignment it can be really hard to be comfortable and confident in your skin so that might be the case for you.
| >>666140
You can if you meet the right people. Small talk is just, like, unnecessary straight up. At least in my opinion.
| >>666146
I... I really doubt that's the case, to be honest. My posture is about as good as the next g/u/rls, so nothing too special's happening there. Although I do notice myself physically slumping from time to time when my mood's especially bad, but that is a consequence, not a cause.
>>666172
Aren't you supposed to figure out if you did meet the right people by doing some small talk beforehand? To get to know each other a bit? I dunno, I've never actually done it, I don't think
| >>666735
Introductions and small talk is different in my opinion. I mean, introductions are necessary to find out about eachother and get to know eachother. Discussing whether the weather is nice or not for the sole purpose of not being quiet is unnecessary.
| >>666776
So what do you suppose the introduction should look like?
"Hi, I enjoy hobbies x, y and z. Are you into any of those things? No? Bye then."
Something like that?
| Also awkward silences are THE WORST. I would much rather talk about the weather, or literally whatever the heck else (if I could do that) than sit in silence and wonder where I went wrong as a person.
| >>667283
Well, introductions should be in the form of a conversation. Starting with names and such, and moving on to stuff like work/school and hobbies. Something like that. It's more of a natural process, though at times they can feel a little awkward because, well, you don't know eachother.
>>667284
Viewing them as awkward is often the problem, not the silence itself. Becoming comfortable with silence is good, but if it is genuinely awkward, making a joke about it often helps.
| I know your pain op
| >>666735 Good posture isnt aimply standing up straight as possible; you also need to correct hip placement(Posterior/Anterior tilt), neck placement, open up your chest, put your tongue on palate et cetera. I am willing to bet some good money that you have sone postural problems that also affects your sleep quality.
| >>667634
That sounds very unnecessary to care about. I don't think anyone cares unless, like, you're really fucking rich or something.
| >>667638
A lot of women care about how you present yourself and having a good posture is part of that.
A bad posture will lead to health issues in the long run so it's not a pretentious thing either.
| >>667638...what? What kind of retarded take is that lmao
>>667652 yeah aside from presenting yourself to other people you are decompressing your spine and opening up your tight muscles, which ends up in moving and breathing a lot more easily. A lot modern people wonder why they feel like shit, move slow and lack confidence while they walk around like Gollum lol
| >>667634
That's some backassward logic right there. Good posture, or, more specifically, the way you carry yourself comes from being confident in yourself and having high self-esteem. Not the other way around. How sleep quality ties in here I don't even want to know.
| >>667904 Idk. I wasn't doing so hot for a while there, when I decided to make myself presentable every day. I didn't have anything in particular to do that day, no reason to go out. But I'd shower and dress and if I was standing, I'd do so with my shoulders rolled back. When sitting, I'd sit straight. It helped me have a better picture of myself for sure. It also helped me find some friends who helped pull me out of that depressive state.
| That, and sometimes just smiling brings up my mood. Idk if it'll be the same for OP, but def. try smiling once and a while of you notice you've gone a while without doing so.
| >>668065 >>668066
It definitely does work for some people. I enjoy dressing nice even when I'm gonna just be by myself.
| >>667904
I don't think it's backwards at all.
Poor self-esteem may lead to a bad posture and bad posture will lead to health issues and therefore poor self-esteem.
It's a cycle and if you're caught in it you should put some effort into straightening yourself up.
| >>668349
Breaking out of a cycle of low self-esteem is a lot harder than that, but, like, that's definitely a start if you also do some other stuff along with it.
| >>668393
I never said it was easy. I'm only highlighting its importance and encourage people to put effort into improving their posture.
If you want to change something about yourself like your posture, your speech or some other tick then a good start is to keep reminding yourself every now and then.
Remind yourself to stand with your shoulders rolled back, to sit straigh etc. After a short time you don't have to keep reminding and given more time you will do it naturally.
| >>668398
It won't magically remove all your poor self-esteem issues but it will definitely improve it now that one more obstacle is trained away.
| >>668393
Ah, to make myself clear when I said "straightening yourself up" I meant it in a literal sense. Sorry about being vague.
| >>668406
I feel like it's the other way around. I also feel like we are interacting in, like, 5 different threads. I also feel like we're both autistic.
| >>668408
The other way around how? You misunderstood my message about improving your posture and thought it was about breaking out of your cycle of self-esteem which was never the case.
| >>668408
I'm high functioning autistic but I'm not posting in five different threads at the moment.
| >>668410
Same, and 5 was an exaggeration. It's like, this and one or two others I feel like.
>>668409
I guess I just don't function right.
| >>668412
Nah, as I said I was being unintentionally vague and apologized for it. Sometimes I can have a hard time getting my point across when I reach the 500 letter limit.
>>668412
I was posting in one other thread and it was probably a reply to you. It seems like maybe it's only you and me and those guys at /d/ who's awake right now.
So do you wanna change the subject? Wanna tell me about something you're passionate about?
| >>1ef9a1 >>65974d
Yeah, get a room, you two. Lol.
>>668065
I'm doing all that. Or at least trying to. Still have to consciously remind myself about it, otherwise my shoulders keep slumping and when sitting I'm trying to curl up as much as I can without looking too suspicious. Done nothing for me so far.
>>668066
Smiling is hard. I look weird and I feel weird when I smile.
>>668072
Dressing nice is something I dream of, unfortunately given my size it's virtually impossible.
| >>668408 actually, I was in the other thread and yes I am a wholly separate g/u/rl. so there's three of us
| >>668483
The perfect autistic triforce? I didn't think it was possible, but also, I did make a thread, so maybe not use this one? I feel bad for OP.
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| I feel extremely starved for meaningful human contact (especially physical touch) but I'm too socially anxious to get any sort of a relationship (romantic or just friendly). I simultaneously want to hug anyone who's nearby and get away as far as possible from everyone. This contradiction is tearing me apart. I don't have REALLY close friends, and the closest available ones are only online. The only romantic partners I had were online as well, which at my age is considered pathetic.