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I've been stealing from my parents
| Both of those addictions are very expensive, at least here since everything like that is very expensive here due to heavy taxing and insane import fees.
Therefore, I stole from my parents. Once, just so I could afford cigarettes one week. Then, over time, my addictions got worse and it starte becoming regular. Once a week.
Now I steal money from them almost every single fucking day, and I hate myself, but I can't stop.
| I can't stop myself from doing it. I want to. I genuinely, really fucking want to, but it's almost become a third addiction at this point. I do it, it helps me buy the stuff that makes life actually close to bearable, but it just makes me feel extremely guilty, more and more every time, and I don't know what to do.
| I know cutting down or going cold turkey would be the best option. Then probably tell them about it and apologize and do something to make up for it. I'm not stupid, but what I am is very mentally broken. Cutting down doesn't work because I can't stop myself from overindulging. Going cold turkey makes me so fucking depressed and I feel really depressed, every single day, as it is. I wouldn't be able to tell them about it because they'd get mad and I'd loose access to hmthe money.
| I need help, but I'm sacred to tell my therapist about it because he'd probably try getting me to change or want me to go to rehab or ask if he could tell my parents, which I'd probably allow, just to be a good person, but after that short moment of being a good person and doing the right thing, I know I'd suffer. I'd suffer so fucking badly. It would probably push me from depressed to suicidal. I just, I can't fucking stand this whole situation.
| I'm sorry for making another venting thread on this venting filled board, and I'm sorry for so much text.
Tldr: I smoke and drink a lot of energy drinks. I don't have the money to cover my addictions, so I steal from my parents. It makes me feel incredibly guilty and I hate myself for it, but without my those substances I'm addicted to, life is a living hell and right now I would probably become genuinely suicidal if I stopped.
| Hop down to your local gloryhole and start sucking. You'll get some nice tips and you won't be able to smoke with cocks stuffed in your mouth all day.
| It's probably best to push yourself to tell your therapist. This'll keep building up and building up as your guilt eats you up probably more than your depression would. You could end up becoming emotionless and try to convince yourself that what you're doing is ok but you know it's not. You can still help yourself because it's clear you know what to do. Just please push yourself to get the help. You can do it.
| Tell your therapist, op. I know it's scary, but going clean is the only chance you have of getting better. Letting this build up is just going to destroy you.
| op, you need a therapist. if you don't get help this will likely keep going and it'll destroy you and your future
| Is there any other problems in life that you could address that might be causing all the stress that might be causing you to engage in these harmful coping mechanisms? I know my mom works a stressful job as a nurse and she drinks tons of coca cola and smokes a ton of cigarettes to kind of cope with her stressors and she gets fairly angry without them. Could try to address what might be causing stress and figure out coping mechanisms for you to help with stress in your life.
| try exercise
maybe dieting
and >>665361
it probably stresses you more to hear this but if you start out life that way you will get even more fucked up in the future. every day counts
| wait, so you have a therapist to talk to ?
| idk what to say my g/u/rl.
i mean you're kinda in the shit rn, and you tried a few times to clean that up, but you were still standing under the anal orifice of despair and stress, so i guess all you got is more shit...
move yourself away from the spot where shit falls before you clean up.
if that made any sense...
you can do it OP !
| >>665362
Well, of course there are problems. All of them are mental though, and it's what I'm trying to work on with my therapist, but even after half a year we haven't figured out what's wrong with me. We might be on track to finding out part of it very soon, but, yeah. All my mental issues are what cause the stress, anxiety and depression, but it's very hard getting rid of them, I ou know?
>>665378
I kinda understand I think?
| >>665303 >>665308
I don't want to go clean now though. If I do I'll just suffer. Right now I'm trying to get a vape, which is a much cheaper alternative to cigarettes, so I'll finally be able to afford my addictions myself, but it's just the guilt from all the times I've done it, you know? Like, it should be arriving soon, and then I'd be able to stop stealing because I don't need to, but, I just feel like such a piece of shit for having done it for months now.
| >>665392 It shouldn't be about I you want to or not. It's about that you need to. Just like I said, you're trying to reason with yourself that it's ok because the vape will come soon. That guilt will stay with you and keep piling up even after you get the vape. You need to let your therapist know. Let them try to help you.
| >>665481
I know, it's just, yeah. It's not easy. I'm fully aware of the situation, and I very much dislike the situation, but it's just, like, fuck. I don't know when the next time I'm talking to him is, but, when I do I'll try to get myself to say something. I was going to last time but pussied out.
| I'm glad I don't smoke or drink
| >>665519
i once held a pack of cigarettes in my hand in order to hide them from my aunt cause i fucking hate ciggie smoke it stinks stay away from my airspace
| >>666739
I won't anytime soon I think. I hope you don't either. It doesn't sound like you're doing that well yourself, but hopefully things get better for you :)
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| I'm 16, with no job and currently no education. I'm heavily addicted to cigarettes (almost half a pack a day) and energy drinks (2-3 a day). I barely earn any money because my only income is a bit of allowance and selling newspapers to old people every weekend.
I've tried stopping both addictions, many time, but I've always failed. I just can fucking do it. I feel way to fucking depressed without it, and, yeah, I just can't handle the withdrawals at all.