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I'm gonna loose the last of my friends
| you okay anon
| it'll all be okay
| Talk, child.
We'll listen
| Don't worry. Just check the Lost & Found section in your area.
| With little to no information given, in my medical opinion based on facts present: You're a shithead, stop being a shithead
| >>608399
Well, if you wanna hear..
I usually keep all my problems to myself, so I don't annoy people with my whining. It's a kind of a trauma after some unhealthy relationship. It was alright for me for quite some time, but it just happens that I'm not that social. Quite introverted, tbh.
Anyway, I had a bunch of people I called friends left since school. I went to Uni this year and never made any friends here. I slowly lost touch with a couple of people from my past.
| Those who I still talk to usually care about me. But now I ran into some problems and, as always, didn't tell anyone. After some time I joked about them with my buddies. Never thought they would care that much. The situation got worse, as my friend want me to talk it out and find the solution together. And I can't force myself to whine to smbd, even though I now her for half of my life. I feel like closing in myself because I don't want her to worry. Don't rly know what to do.
| I have a bad feeling that if I don't open my mind to her she'll get mad at me, so our friendship comes to an end. That'll be the end for all my casual social interaction.
So ye. There you have it. Would preferably die right now
>no I'm not suicidal, I am just completely lost and confused about the situation
| What's the problem with telling her? Unless it's some confidential shit, you've nothing to lose by telling her, while the alternative could make you lose something. That's an easy equation to my mind, do it
| Oh, and could you stop being so ambiguous? "now I ran into some problems", "situation got worse". If you want to talk about this crap, then stop giving general terms which can be interpreted in more ways than there are hairs on my ass. You honestly seem more whiny by rejecting everyone's help like you don't need it. If someone wants to help, they mean it, and if they suggested it themselves, TEY REALLY FUCKING MEAN IT.
| >>608428
>seem whiny
Yeah, yeah, I know, that's why I wanna avoid the subject. To be fair, I am not whiny at all in everyday life.
>problem telling
I just feel really uncomfortable when people try to help me with my shit. Again, I dunno why, but I honestly hate the feeling so much, it's easier to disappear until I solve my stuff.
| >608424
>Losing friends after being done with school
This is completely normal. As sad as this may sound, most "friends" are really just acquaintances. Friends are those that stay in contact and/or want to do something with you from time to time. Or rather, those that really care about you or your well being.
| >Uni with no friends
That's more of a problem. Try to integrate yourself in one or two groups with what you think are nice people. Having people to learn with or people that can discuss problems with you can help you learn immensely.
| >Trauma after unhealthy relationship; keep problems to yourself
It's great that that your friend(s) want to help you. This might be the best opportunity for you to come out of your shell and open up a little.
In terms of keeping a healthy friendship, telling her some of your problems will show her that you trust her, which definitely gives positive feedback about the friendship.
I used to be an intense introvert like you, so I can relate to this a little.
| Since your insecurities will constantly give off warning signals, you should probably take things slowly. If you haven't already, tell her/them the thing about your "trauma", why it's difficult for you to tell others about your problems. That would be a great starting point, since they would know that you can't just hurl everything at them.
After that, slowly start talking about some of your recent problems. It doesn't have to be much, but don't make it too brief and broad.
| Telling her/them is also the first step to removing or counteracting the "trauma".
She definitely cares about you, so she most likely won't be bothered by listening to your problems. It might even make her feel good for helping out.
Her wanting to help solve the problems together is nice of her, but depending on the problem she maybe won't even be able to fix them.
Nontheless, simply listening to your problems will be enough in terms of help.
|
Keeping it to yourself won't necessarily kill the friendship, but sharing them will strengthen the bond and, in a sense, will make both of you happier in the long run
| I forgot to say...
The friend who helps the most is not always the one that's proposing solutions to your problems.
People pressing you to tell them something is not normal.
It all depends on the attitude.
You know, there's the "we can talk anytime you feel like it" attitude, and there's the "come on, tell me" attitude.
They kinda sound like the same, but one of them is an invitation, and the other one is an investigation.
People who listen quietly are golden.
| ^ what she said
| OP here.
>>75d6de
Honestly, I don't know how to express my gratitude properly. That's what I needed to hear, so thank you. I'll try to make bonds in uni, but I don't think I'll succeed, since I've had similar experience when I changed my school a couple years ago.
I now feel a lot calmer and won't make any regrettable decisions. I even see a way to talk this out peacefully, so yeah, you really helped me a lot.
| >>30dbd2
It's a little more complicated. I really value her as a friend, she basically has all the traits I could dream about, except for the part the fuss is about.
It's more like "I can see you're in struggle and you are harming me if you don't share it" attitude. She's knew me for a damn long time, I don't think I can hide my condition from her. I understand that it's only fair for her to request my trust.
Still, thank you for you concern.
| >>608512
That seems worse, but I don't know the person... I can't really judge.
Op,
you do what you do, take care of yourself and the ones you love.
| Cry me a fucking river OP. I haven't had any friends since 2009.
| >>608629 I feel bad for you, really do. Without a couple of bonds I've got I don't think I would be here for long. I know that people come and go, but you have to work to earn yourself a friendship. Without you you trying you will neither get nor keep any friends anyway.
| >608511
That's what friendly internet strangers are for. Glad I could be of help to you
| >>608649
I don't think that's going to be easy for a 35 year old who lives in his room, that can't mentally handle the real world. I only really connect with others through talking about porn on anonymous outlets on the internet. What massive amounts of porn I have saved and jerk off to on a daily basis all day. I've been talking to myself on a daily basis for even longer than I haven't had friends. I guess it's my way to cope. Been doing so since I was a wee lad.
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| Ooh boi, here I go again
Time to lock myself up and cry the hell out.