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I'm broken and I don't know how to fix myself

| I don't even know where to begin. I am a failure. I have no friends (other than some online), no relationship, I still live with my parents even though I'm a couple of years over 20. I have a master's degree and a job with decent pay, but it does not give me any solace. My life has been a stream of nervousness and anxiety for as long as I can remember. I feel on edge all the time, which results either in sudden bursts of anger, or in feeling like I'm going to burst into tears.

| I'm on the lower end of obesity and while I know that this is wrong and that I should probably fix that, I can't stop eating junk food all the time, because it's the only thing that provides some comfort. And I can't follow through with exercising consistently because I constantly feel like shit. My self-esteem has plummeted partially because of that, making me convinced that no one would even want to talk to me and that people that I talk to just force themselves to tolerate me.

| I want to have friends. I want to have romantic relationships. But I didn't socialize much (if at all) in school/university and I feel like I've missed some valuable experience. I have no idea how to make connections now, and dating/courtship is such a ridiculous and outlandish concept for me. I've convinced myself that I don't deserve any affection, and that no one wants to have mine. Even though I long so much to both give and take it.

| I am both unimaginably boring, and unimaginative and boring. I need some kind of hobby, something to be passionate about, but I can't keep anything like that for more than a week.
I don't even know why I'm typing all this. I despise myself for ranting and rambling about my so-called issues instead of getting my ass up and actually doing something about them, but I really don't have it in me to fix myself right now. All I can do is vent.
I am sorry for taking your time. I truly am.

| well then force yourself. save up money and move to a third-world country. work in the countryside. either you get a heart attack or you survive into an actual person

leave your environment, change your surroundings

| it sounds like you have enough money and free time to try therapy so why dont you give that a shot?

| >>569291
I already live in a pretty much third-world country. Well, technically not, but it really isn't much better. I tried work in the countryside when I was a bit younger and I couldn't take it.

I probably can get enough money for it if I cut down my other expenses a bit. Not sure about the free time, though. Maybe I could book a visit or two a month on Saturdays. However, as I said, I live in a rather underdeveloped country, so therapy is questionable here.

| Flex tape
If the breaking is too small for flex tape then try flex seal or flex glue

| >>569332
I mean, there's even more than just A LOT of damage, might be a challenge even for the Flex series of products.

| Do you have any goals ? Like long term stuff...
I think a team sport would be a good start, and I know it's hard to be a novice at something and join at 20-something, but I've done that and it's helped me, so who knows.
Also walks are nice. If you have an area around you can walk around safely.
Remember if you want to become something else, take little steps. Big steps are not bad, but be prepared to trip and fall.
Keep listening to yourself like you do now, it's good.

| >>569297
i see your point about having low expectations of therapy in a less developed country but think it cant hurt to give it a try, as long as its safe to talk to them about stuff.

| die lmao

| >>569394
No. I'm not giving up yet.

I guess. It's just the first (and last) therapist I went to started telling me stuff about spirituality and cosmic vibrations when I realized that maybe it was a bad idea. But I guess they can't all be like that, so maybe I should try going to another one.

Not really? Just really vague stuff. Find friends with whom I'd feel like I belong there, find a boyfriend (or girlfriend), find a hobby that will bring me pleasure in life.

| >>569398
I can't make/find friends.
I was told to go make friends, but it never happened.
Instead, I got people crashing into my life at the worst possible moments, and against all odds we stuck together.
I kinda gave up on the whole boy/girlfriend topic for myself, so I can't say.
About the hobbies thingy, I'm lost. I have things I love to do, but I manage not to...

I'm starting to complain, I gotta stop...

I think I'm fine, though...

| >>569398
wew, gotta do your research beforehand, i hope theyre not all like that for you though.

i think you and i have similar problems. i wish i understood them better or had good advice for you.

im starting to fall apart lately and am more prone to losing my temper at work. im a point where im starting to accept the idea of trying therapy, but there are unique challenges for me doing that even in this first world country. the alternative is ending my life so i have to try...

| are you me?

| I feel you g/u/rl.

| I fail to understand how you can associate junk food with "comfort". I mean, I get it if you say it is convenient, but "comfort", really?

Pretty sure greasy food and sugary drinks make you feel like shit after you consume it.

| >>569556
It only makes me feel like shit the morning after. But then evening comes and I get the cravings. I think I'm addicted to the taste. It's weird, but it really do be like that sometimes.

Just don't feel LIKE me. Not a good experience.

I am thou, thou art I.

Never a good alternative. Guess we both just have to make therapy work. Somehow.

I've heard that venting helps somewhat, so maybe sometimes it's best to just complain for a while.

| >>569570 do you smoke?

| >>569572
No, I don't. I think one vice is enough for me. Probably would smoke if I didn't already eat junk instead.

| >>569570 so if you feel like shit at the morning and carve it at the evening, then restrict yourself to only eat at morning-noon. Maybe it will loop you out of the habit.

| Don't eat junk food at morning-noom too, just in case it's not obvious for you

| >>569584
Well, here's where the issue is. I have to restrict myself. Which I've failed to do for quite a while now. Even if I know that it's bad for me, in the moment I can feel like I absolutely NEED it, because it "helps" me deal with stress.
I think I just need to develop more healthy coping mechanisms first, so that I don't have to rely on shitty food to very temporarily lift my mood (and bring it even further down later). And I suppose that's where therapy comes in.

| >>569603 Well, then you need a change in mindset.

You don't "need" fast food. Fast food is just a short term solution that breeds long term problems. The moment you give up on your restriction, you'll feel like shit in the morning, and you'll gain weight, and then get more depressed, repeat that to eternity.

Maybe also cut the habit of using food to life your mood. Music, games, movies, heck evem better try exercising when you feel down.

| *maybe also cut the habit of using food to lift your mood.

| Even if it is just a light exercise, and you don't see a progress, it is still better than eating fatty stuff when you are down.

I hope that you don't play gacha games or have gambling addiction... you sounds like the type who'll gamble almost all your paycheck.

| >>569624
Exercise would be perfect. But I constantly feel too beaten down to even consider actually doing it. And there are easier ways to get my mood up, so... But I need it. I really do. I'm just unable to force myself successfully.

Well, thankfully, I'm way too stingy to gamble or even pay for the IAP crap. Not stingy enough to stop blowing additional $50 a month on crappy food though, apparently. And gambling does not even give me that serotonin rush.

| >>569628 well, you keep telling your brain that you need it, so you are just training it to be addicted to junk food.

Remember that "easier way" is the one that will bite you in the ass.

Are you the type that get easily annoyed? If not, then I suppose asking assistance from your family to distract you from your "need" might be a viable way. Ask the to constantly remind you not to give in.

| >>569636
I am easily annoyed, unfortunately. Even by something minor sometimes.
And when my family reminds me not to give it only makes me angry at myself. Because I already know I shouldn't give in. I'm already telling myself this constantly. Them trying to hammer it home really rubs me the wrong way since this subject is a sore spot for me anyway.

| >>569641 welp, then idk what else to tell you. You can't change unless you are motivated enough to change yourself.

Good luck.

| >>569656
I guess what I was trying to look for when posting all this is ways I can actually motivate myself. Which, all things considered, pretty much came down to therapy. I'll start by actually doing some research on therapists in my area and try booking a visit in the following month. Hope it'll work.

| just fix it lool

| >>569675
Do you have spare time in your life ?

| >>569717
~2 hours a day. Maybe double that on weekends. Doesn't feel like it's enough, to be honest.

That's exactly what I'm trying to do, yes.

| >>569720
I really hope you're getting enough sleep :/
Do you think you're making use of those 2 hours ?

| >>569570
>it do be like that sometimes
Just stop eating fast food like a fatass, that's contributing to your depression and making you behave lazy. Eating that shit isn't even worth it in the first place. Work out and get active and do something instead of being a sad sack of obesity

| >>569780
Yeah, well. It's a vicious cycle. Sometimes I'm winning and it almost seems like I've broken it, but the I slip right back in and it starts again.

If ~4-5 is enough sleep, then yes. In those 2 hours I definitely could be doing more. But mostly I'm just trying to unwind at least somewhat after work.

| >>569849
Do you wake up by yourself in the morning ? Or do you need the alarm clock ?
If you awake in time by yourself, you most likely have an established sleep cycle. Which means you probably have enough sleep... but you're the only one who can judge.

When you feel like it, exercise in those 2 hours. Like 20 min is enough. Only to put your body in a state of activity that is merely unusual. It must not be instense. Stretching is nice for example. Don't burn your muscles.

| >>570250
No, I need a couple alarms to ring in the morning, and even then sometimes it's a gamble. My parents usually wake me up though, so that kinda worked so far. I definitely don't *feel* like I get enough sleep, but I just can't fall asleep in the evening.

Well, yeah. I really should get at least SOMETHING done in terms of exercise. Just have to push myself. Somehow. Also, can you suggest any good things to do for quick and light exercise?

| >>570325
It might sound really dumb and all, but walking is fine.
I won't suggest anything else, because I don't know if you have any health problems.
For example, because of driving for most of the day, I had an underdeveloped back, so lifting stuff with my former back was a no-no.
It's going to sound stupid again, but before starting exercising, ask a doctor for advice. If you have a sports physician near you, it's worth having a proper chat with them.

| Continued:
By keeping exercising regularly, you're going to find a problem with junk food.

Also, one of your best friends is water, even though it's a pain having to go to the loo a lot.

Also, those 20 mins of activity will be relaxing and will help you sleep tight at night. Think of this part of your time like it's going to change your life.

Don't forget to go see a doctor, please. They know way better than I do.

| >>570447
I already walk for about half an hour in the morning and another half an hour in the evening. Apparently it's not enough. And not really ideal, since I've got bad knees and some weird issue which basically makes me bleed under the skin around the ankles. But walking is pretty much necessary since I have to get to work anyway.
I don't think there are any sports physicians around, and general physicians usually don't deal with things like this where I'm from so there's that.

| you're just looking for pity, aren't you?

| >>570477
So you've got at least 1h of walking. You've got spare time to cook yourself a meal, if I'm not missing something.
You choose what you do in your spare time. I'm gonna say the opposite of what I think. Don't push yourself. At least you shouldn't feel like you're pushing yourself.
Sometimes you just need it to be someone else than you doing the pushing. If you see what I mean.

| >>570482
I think, another issue is that I usually choose to do nothing in my spare time. Because I'm either too lazy, or sometimes too jittery/distracted.
And, how do I put this... No one's gonna want to do the pushing until I push myself to be better first

Not really. I already have enough of it myself. As I already said, I mostly just needed to vent to not keep all these thoughts bottled up. And maybe get some tips on how to better myself more efficiently in the process


| >>570617
Get out of here you weeb.

| >>66440c HA get fucked boi

Total number of posts: 49, last modified on: Sat Jan 1 00:00:00 1560550439

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