danger/u/
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So I might be jealous and there's no advice board

| I'm actually jealous my best friend, and I'm talking as close as siblings, might like a friend of them more than me. I was always an insecure person and I want to know if it's actually a good idea to voice them how I feel


| Could you try to formulate that I little differently? I'd love to help, but I don't quite understand the problem.


| >>567604
Sorry, English is not my first language.
I think my best friend likes a friend of them more than they like me, I want to ask them if they do but I don't know if that'd be a good idea.


| >>567605
That's ok.

Well, that really depends on your relationship with this friend of yours and their personality. It's not unusual to like some people more than others, but what makes you think they prefer their other friend to you?


| >>567607
Well we were on a group call yesterday and apparently this friend has bought them stuff before and paid them lots of money for commissions too (my friend draws).
I believe we're pretty close but since sometimes we don't talk as much and suddenly I know of this one person.


| >>567612
Do you know the relationship between your friend and their other friend? It sounds to me like this "friend" may just be a customer or acquaintance. Even if they aren't, that fact that they paid your friend, who's an artist, to do commissions for them really doesn't mean that your friend doesn't care about you. Just that his business is going well.


| >>567622
No I'm all for them doing better at their business, it's the unnecessary overpay and gifts that make me feel like it's overwhelming.
I know they're not dating and honestly that would bother me less since it's way different, they just sounded so close and comfortable I know it's not just a costumer.
(just in case, yes I'm sure they're not dating because my friend always tells me when they date /dated someone and I actually asked of this one)


| >>567625
Maybe they just want to establish a good relationship for future transactions? Either way, that doesn't seem to be the main issue here.

Tell me why it bothers you that they seem very close. Do you think that your friend would forget about you just because someone else is giving them gifts? If that's the case then it sounds like they're not a very good friend.


| >>567629
They never showed that kind of behaviour no, I know I might be having issues with this because I have had bad experiences in the past when it comes to friendships, groups of friend I had to leave or friends who would just forget me for no reason.
I know the main issue is problably me and really my main concer is if it's worth it to ask them (if they like this friend more) just to get that worry out of my head, or could it come up bad.


| >>567634
I'm glad that you're able to realize that. I needed to know if you did before recommending anything.

You should 100% talk to them about it. I feel like you probably won't be satisfied by a yes or no answer. You should try to properly talk to your friend about how you feel. It probably won't be easy, but if you're able to do it, it would significantly strengthen your relationship.

Good luck.


| >>567642
Sorry I didn't respond as fast but I will go for it man, like I needed a second opinion and you sound like extremely reasonable and stuff and I really appreciate and will use it, thanks a lot for this.


| >>567763
Haha, no problem.


| Tell us how it goees!


| Hose mad


| Communication is key in any relationship! Good luck man! Confrontation is scary but it's better than stressing


| >>568062
Well I didn't expect the thread to keep getting replies but it went perfect!
Like I said in first post we're really close so when I mentioned if they maybe liked this person more they hit me with an "of course not, we're family" and that of course they're close friends but that's it. (clarification too of the whole gift and commission stuff but that's just details)


| So well reading the immediate response calmed me up and warmed my heart a little and now it's just a passed topic, like hours later they teased me a bit from it but that's it, I love my friend.


| >>568082
It was definetly much better and honestly wished I had done it before so much stress, like first anon really knows how to give advice since otherwise I might have been still waiting and stressing.


| Yo no offense but you sound really clingy. I understand that you're hurting from past trauma, and it's good that it worked out this time. But understand that no one likes clingy people.


| >>568256
Anxiety is not something you can control. Being anxious about losing your friends is a horrible feeling. Disliking someone simply because they're anxious is fucked up. I understand that you're not educated in anything mental health related, but know that saying ignorant stuff like that can be extremely hurtful.

>>568115
I'm glad that it went well for you. It's good that your friend is understanding of your feeling. It sounds like they're a really good friend.


| >>568285
See? Someone says something and suddenly its too "hurtful". Cant have an opinion that conflicts with a person's views because it might hurt them...
In the real world, people dont like clingy friends. Enabling their behavior because they "cant control it" is what will inevitably cause problems.
Accept that your friend isnt your toy. They might have feelings that might not allign with your own. Maybe one day they will meet someone they click with better than you... what now?


| >>568359
I do not treat my friend like it was "my toy" , it's a reciprocate relationship where I'm
for them as much as they're there for me. This is the first time I've had this problem since we know each other (5 years) and I wouldn't consider bad advice to talk out with my friend about how I feel, as much as they can and have talked to me in times they haven't felt so good.
Yes I am clingy and yes I am anxious but I'm not using that to justify my behavior, just to explain it.


| >>568359 >>568374
I feel like the word "clingy" is not used correctly here.

Clingy = someone who wants to be by your side at all times and won't let you spend time with anyone else.

What OP is describing is simply attachment to another person. It's completely normal to feel like this.

>>2e61a1
It's obvious that you have had bad experiences with clingy people but you shouldn't let that blur your world view to the point where you think attachment and clinginess is one and the same.

Total number of posts: 23, last modified on: Mon Jan 1 00:00:00 1559940159

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