Online friend.
| Or maybe I'm simply too glued to them and backpedal in my head each time I think about leaving or ghosting them. I usually can't last more than a day or two without seeing or reading their messages.
They've sent me pictures before, of themselves, their cats, set-up, mundane things. I've never sent them a picture of myself. They barely know how I look. I've only sent them a crude drawing of myself.
| They draw so much, better than me. I try to support them each time they draw, but I'm not sure if I'm being positively toxic.
We nearly talk every day. It started a few years back I guess. I began seeking their attention. I like when we go on long conversations about random bullshit. I have fun when we call each other the f slur, I often have dreams that include them It helps break up the constant stream of nightmares and sleep paralysis I have It makes sleeping somewhat tolerable
| I've heard their voice before, and know how they somewhat look, but it aches me that they don't know shit about me. I rarely talk about myself. I've never even spoken a single word to them, only made funny noises.
I want to be there for them through the hard times, but I almost never tell them any of my problems cause I get scared they'll feel overburdened, they already deal with so much shit, I don't want to be another weight on them.
| I want to give them constant help and advise, but I can't sometimes. I can't help them with money, I'm already broke, and paying for my medical shit. I want to be able to do more than just text them.
It hurts. I don't even know if they would ever reciprocate my feelings. It aches when I feel left out.
I have other friends irl, other people I'm relatively close to.
| But this is different. I want to confess everything, but I'm unsure how they would react, if at all. If I would ruin everything we've built up. If they would see me differently.
I'm a coward at heart, and it hurts. I'm scared of getting hurt.
| You care about your friend and want to be emotionally closer to them, and you also care about their well being and problems. "I have a feeling in my heart whenever I think about you" is quite an honest phrase to finish with after you tell them the rest.
You don't have to "confess your love" or pull them into a relationship, just be honest about your feelings like you did in this thread, and dont use the word "I love you", its too heavy.
Be honest with your feelings and maybe--
| Maybe you'll get to be emotionally closer to this friend.
This may or may not entail a relationship but who cares about that label?
An emotional bond with a friend can be very deep and fulfilling.
If you want, write the message here b4 sending it to him and I'll give you some feedback eventually.
Don't delude yourself though, just because you're good friends doesn't mean you automatically make a good couple. People get weird when in couples cuz of emotional needs and closeness
| eat cock.
| >>7e297e I've told them some smaller stuff before, like how comforted I get simply telling them anything, among other smaller confessions. But every time I think about confessing even something more serious I immediately think of all the horror stories regarding online relationships, which usually stops me.
| >>1115286
>Something more serious
Being honest with your feelings is just letting them know you care a lot about them. That's human, and normal.
Don't go aiming for a relationship, just let them know you care about them a lot that way. If they want to date you or not after that is on them, but that shouldn't change your feelings about them anyway.
Don't put so much pressure on yourself, you're deepening an emotional bond, not putting a ring on their finger.
| You should put a ring on your friend's finger. Being together forever is the only way for you to finally be with the one person that understands you.
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| Spewing out some bullshit
I have this friend. We've known each other for nearly a decade by now, we've been through so much together, and they've dealt with so much of my bullshit over the years.
I haven't been the best person ever, I've said nasty shit to them, both through text and in my hallucinations. I've made horrible decisions. But they've stuck around despite it.