full moon
| the way the sun hits the craters makes it feel so much more real and tangible to me anyway. idk what the point of this post is tbh. i was doing ok for a bit, broke down pretty hard a couple nights ago and was ready to go again. i relapsed then too. only two weeks so not much of a loss tbh, i haven't started counting again yet. tbh idk if it's even worth trying to quit anymore, it helps, it's the only thing that really seems to help at all.
| that isn't entirely true, my friends help a lot, they really do, but i need more of a release sometimes, and i don't know how else to get that, nothing i've tried works.
| i fantasize a lot about dying up there, staring back at the earth i came from. i would love that so much, the peaceful silence and the ubfiltered light draped across ancient dusty surreal terrain. it feels slightly funny to me i can only have the opposite.
| Stop fantasizing about dying and start fantasizing about how awesome life can be.
| do you want death or do you want what you imagine death to bring?
>peaceful silence
>>1077062
weak advice
Refresh
| me again, "killing myself in 17 days", still here obviously. i wanted to die under this full moon, it's weird how long ago that seems now. it's waning now. i did see it last night though, it was beautiful, it always is. i still hate myself, i still want to die, i still don't know what to do with myself, i still don't know where my life is going rn. i feel like most people only really care at all to look when the moon is full, tbh i like waxing/waning better,