This time i watched a german streamer in the woods
| Chapter 1
I started watching while he was in the woods trying to start a fire. He was beset by mosquitoes and the sun is setting and he just can't start the fucking fire because he's like jerking off with the steel back and forth like a mugabe trying to make it work but it just doesn't.
Eventually, he started the fire. I don't know how he did it because it was during the commercial break (very annoying and long, like my penis)
| Aaand it's gone. The guy heard some kind of noise in the dark but chat couldn't hear it over the fire. They suggested he turned off the fire real quick so they can hear it. He did it and then he had no fire lul.
I come back to him as he's wading through a swamp and the camera's shaking. He bites into a solid block of butter.
Eventually, he regains the fire.
| He tries to turn on the fire so he's adding branches but for some reason he refuses to blow on the embers even though the whole chat is yelling at him. One guy said he just saw 6 red eyes behind him and he believed it.
Chat starts telling him its an elk though. So he turns off the fire and tries to run back to his car but runs into the lake. Chat is donating to play the YOLO-audio sound. Things are bad.
| There were geese in the lake so we can guess where it came from. He tries catching one but panics and runs. The fire was actually back on somehow when he ran back, so he starts to grill food but all he has is lentils in a can. He gets ash into his eyes so he's swearing and asking chat how unhealthy ash is for the eyes on a scale to 10, so chat replies. "11, 9, 5, 12, 0, 20, 0.5"
| Unimpressed by chat's fucky scale rating, he gets over it but they keep saying numbers. The fire burns like shit so he keeps having to blow on it which made him lightheaded. He seemingly forgets the potatoes in the fire, we can blame it on the ash in his eyes. Out of nowhere he squeaks out a "Feueeeer" that sounded like a chicken trying to speak. He might be trying to regain courage. Fucking wild shit out there.
| Chat starts talking about talibans. Everyone is complaining and someone started a fight. He tries to saw more logs but keeps getting lost in the dark, it's really not far from his fire at all too. Someone was permabanned because they were arguing that tourists were shot near a hotel in egypt. He yells out loud because he remembered the potatoes. O woe. Not the potatoes.
We reunite with him after the commercial break just to realize he tried to grill soup.
| He pulls out the potato which is black, then asks the chat if it's done and they all say perfect, superb, looks tasty, just peel it, this one will be good, add sauce, add surströmming, good with cheese, etc.
| Then a message by ditishewii: "Wir müssen dein sperma einfrieren für die nachwelt, deine genetik muss gesichert werden". He gets banned, a longtime user. He eats sour cream with the potato and might have puked a little, perhaps because it's expired maybe?
| He finds himself unable to turn off the YOLO-spam sound alert so it keeps playing in the background. He works it out by turning the box volume to lowest level but due to his setup he can't mute it all the way so we just keep hearing yolo-yolo-yolo... which he is trying to cover up by talking about his diarrhea.
Incredible.
| Chat keeps trolling him, his cream is expired but chat says it's okay. "It's like actimel" or "put your fingers in". Is it really sterile as long as the packaging isn't ripped? Anyways he starts to eat it and you just see patergeorg69 posting "Don't eat, the rot has already started"...
| Bro says it's super sour. Most of chat says it's fucked and this one guy says milk acid is healthy. He already has stomach issues and some people are saying what doesn't kill makes you stronger, or that sourness makes you funny.
He was persuaded that the sourness is only on the top and so relented to taste the deeper cream. He says he's hearing birds but nobody can hear anything.
| The fire goes out. He starts fingering the cream. Chat is asking him what the fuck is he doing, someone said the cream cheese has ejaculated, he's stirring with a finger...
He says it tastes better though, but then utters something bewildering, "Jetzt seh ich mir in der Kreme fraîche"... I have no idea what it means.
| Ditishewili is typing insanities in chat... Bro was sitting there pretty chill. Then he wants to turn the fire back on, so he shows us the polar sun instead. Or is it the moon? Whatever it is he's staring at it with the camera for really long. Chat tells him it's a hologram and to try blowing the clouds away. He says it worked for the fire so he... starts doing it...
| He begins to continuously zoom at the moon. He's fiddling with settings on his phone to get a better picture and asking chat which looks better. So naturally they suggest getting closer to the subject.
Someone writes the saddest sentence I've heard in a while in German in the chat: "Letztes bier, dan altes Männlein Bett". Someone else says "Kotz ins Feuer".
| He starts doing pushups with the camera pointed at the moon. We can see the fire dying in a corner. The stream goes offline.
| I am posting all this now because I was doing the same thing that led me to him: boringly browsing IRL category – to realize bro is still live https://twitch.tv/benjamool
Where I find him with a dead fire and several wounds on his hands trying to saw himself a bed together at 22:30 Stockholm time. Mann, Benjamool.
| And that is all.
| Chapter 2: Benjamool has no bed
The fire is dead, and if you watch the stream for a while you will slowly come to realize that he's trying to saw wood logs with a fucking katana and that's why he has no bed.
The fire is now really dead but akin to a phoenix keeps popping up sometimes as if to check on his misery.
I'm trying to ignore genitalviral's contributions to chat discussion
| I don’t care but it’s cozy hearing you talk and lying in bed
| Cute
| why put everything (immediately) in one thread?
make it a multi-thread saga over time.
| no one cares about your shitty slenderman arg
| >>1067833
Hang yourself
None of you compare to the glory of Benjamool-sama, he who strikes fear in the heart of plant life and small rodents everywhere
| I slept really good :)
This thread is closed.
| I was bored and nothing was on.
I browsed IRL until i ended up on this german streamer. This is his story.