I think I might have DID but I really don't want it
| You always see in videos and other media and it's like this big dramatic thing and it's not like that for me and that was my main reason for never looking into it
But the other day I almost lost my life and that wasn't me. I don't even properly remember what happened, and what I do remember feels like I watched from an outside perspective like on a screen. People keep checking in on me but I don't feel anything. It's like that all happened to someone else
| I was talking with my sister after the moment and suddenly mid conversation I had no memory of what we talked about or what I'd said. Suddenly I was empathetic and then suddenly I couldn't care, like it didn't apply to me
That's when I finally gave in and looked into it
And I learned that there's two types
Possessive and Nonpossessive
And it scared me. I wanted to believe it was nothing, but Nonposessive fits my experience perfectly and I don't want that
| I don't know what to do. What if I'm just delusional or what if I just convinced myself that this is the case
I don't want to believe it, but if it's true I should talk to my doctor about it so I can manage it
I don't want to embarrass myself in case it's something else. I don't want to risk coming off as attention seeking
So maybe it isn't the case, and I really hope it isn't, but it makes so much sense
And deep down I've always been aware of these other parts of me that I refused
| You might have did what?
| You need to treat the symptoms hurting u. The diagnosis doesn’t matter. What matters is helping ur life get better.
| >>b2e198
Question. How long have you noticed these symptoms? You mention you've "always" known but is there no definitive time you can look back upon? If so, can you think back on whether it coincides with any life altering event you may have had? Drugs and depression are 2 things that can give you out-of-body experiences, but there may be more I'm unaware of.
Regardless of what I say though, get yourself checked out by a doctor or psychiatrist. Better safe than sorry.
| >>39bb00 It's honestly hard to say because there's just so much I don't remember. I want to say around 6, but I think when I first started thinking "This might be something" was late middle school.
I've had traumatic experiences, but I don't know if I'd say any would count as life altering. It was mostly physical abuse and death that I witnessed towards family members. The thing is, I feel like those were all past the "Before 4-5 years old" cut off. All of that was around 6-9
| >>39bb00 That's part of the reason why I'm so hesitant to push for a diagnosis. Before that "cut-off" I can really only think of Neglect as what might be applicable. Though it wasn't intentional neglect, but I guess it's still neglect
But honestly there might be something I don't remember
I've been wondering if being autistic impacts this in any way. As I've seen the whole for autism "Your brain fully develops later than 25 actually"
but idk like I'm no doctor
| >>39bb00 So I don't know like it feels like this isn't "enough" to qualify me
So it must be something else, but what
Like you mentioned depression and I do have that, but I've had treatment for it and I'm medicated. So I'm aware of what depression is like and feels like, and it's just not whatever this is
Depression never made me forget and did things I don't remember. It never made people pointout I was different suddenly
MaybeI'm schizophrenic? But I don't hear voices likethat
| TLDR cut yourself
| I'm not any kind of professional, but that does sound like DID.
Refresh
| I've always known something was up, but I never wanted to acknowledge it and I just chalked it up to me being weird. DID is that thing that people always pretend to have for attention so I really didn't want to embarrass myself
Over and over I kept trying to convince myself I was making it up and that it can't be possible because it's so rare
And for a while I can convince myself it's nothing. But then something happens and I just can't ignore it because it almost ruins my life