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jokes
| Two pennyless polish jews arrive at New York. While walking down the streets, they spot a church with a sign that says "convert now and earn 5 dollars".
The first jew tells the second to go check it out.
After 30 minutes, he comes out of the church.
"Did you get the 5 dollars?"
"You jews are all the same, all you care about is money."
| Jojo is a dashing and self-confident thirty-something who goes up to his mountain chalet every weekend to indulge in his favorite activity: bear hunting. His chalet is filled with stuffed bears: grizzly bears, brown bears, polar bears... he has killed every kind of bear in existence, except one: the legendary blue bear.
| One day, he decides to complete his collection by tracking this sumptuous animal. He takes his rifle and goes to its den. He advances on tiptoe, his eyes on the lookout, facing the wind. But without him understanding what is happening to him, the blue bear suddenly grabs him from behind and fucks him in the arse!!
| A month and 18 stitches later, Jojo is really determined to get revenge. He buys a machine gun, and he intends to do it right! He runs into the den and shoots in all directions until he runs out of ammunition. The blue bear takes advantage of the moment he reloads to pounce on our unfortunate hunter and fuck him dry.
| The following month, Jojo, mad with rage, leaves the hospital with a fixed idea: to kill the blue bear at all costs, even if its fur becomes unusable. He sells his car, mortgages his house and takes out a loan at 25% APR to buy the brand new prototype of a ground-to-air missile launcher.
| He settles 1km from the blue bear's den, and launches a missile. A terrible explosion resounds in the forest. Satisfied, Jojo enters the den to assess the damage. He is at first blinded by the smoke, but after a few moments, it dissipates, and he sees the silhouette of the blue bear.
The blue bear calmly advances, stops in front of Jojo and asks him while scratching his head:
"Explain to me... aren't you a bit of a faggot?"
| I love sex.
| Shared some of those w my friend.
Unfortunately I have not learned any jokes.
| Op went into a bar, she hit the door and said "ouch"
| A frog walks into a bank and approaches the teller, whose name plate says Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $50,000 loan to take a vacation."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.
"Kermit Jagger. My father is Mick Jagger. It will be fine to authorize the loan, I know your manager."
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
| >>1025337
"Sure, how about this," said Kermit as he produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
| >>1025338
Patty walks into the manager's office and proceeds to tell her, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $50,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." Patty holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says..."It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
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| post your best jokes, here's mine:
Two serbians in a car are stopped in Germany. The Bundespolizei officer asks them "excuse me, we are looking for two child rapists". The serbs look at each other, then at the police officer, and tell him: "Ok, we'll do it".