This thread is permanently archived
Talking about sexual stuff is hard

| Idk why, but I struggle so much with talking about sexual stuff. I have a wife ffs, but like, even to her talking about my sexual needs and stuff like that is ao difficult for me, and, idk. I feel like surely that's not normal
Every couple I've seen (friends and stuff) has had zero difficulty with that even in early stages of relationships, but still, even as the only one with a wife, it's just so difficult

| And it's not like we really got, like, issues or anything. There's nothing but love between us, we have a good sex life and stuff, but just something as simple as asking for head I just can't get myself to do, like, at all
We either get into it just, like, randomly, or I just repress any horniness and masturbate later and then feel bad about it
She got a fair bit lower libido than me, and while I know she would help me out with that, even the thought of talking about just what I'm

| typing here with her is just, like, petrifying, and it sucks
I know this board probably isn't the best place to ask for advice on anything sexual but this is more of just a vent anyways
I know my brain has been fucked up by being witness to so much abuse, both sexual and otherwise, so I think it moght stem from that maybe. That I'm terrified of potentially encouraging her to do something she might not want. We've got really good boundaries and super healthy relationship though

| So that doesn't make much sense. Then again mental stuff doesn't always make much sense. I think I'm just dumb

| Do you have a dick?

| >>983965
I have been known to wield one

| Putting this retardation into words actually helped me a lot and I sent her a message (since she's asleep rn) asking about her thoughts on this. Guess that's solved then

This is now a Nintendo dev ama!
I work at Nintendo as a programmer so ask me anything you wanna know about that

| I love sex.

| >witness to sexual abuse
>turns into a nintendo programmer
1 step from repeating the cycle :)

| Try sex

| >>983969 When's sex gonna be added to Smash

| >>983976
1 step from repeating it, but 2 steps from breaking it

The higher ups would have to stop being family friendly for that, so probably never. But if they do go down that route I hope it's soon and I can contribute to the project

| Sounds like some therapy might be helpful if you have a history of related trauma or being witness to it. Something to think about.

As a Nintendo dev, what sorts of things did you work on?

| If I were in your situation, I would probably have sex with my sister.

| ^ this, but in like.. every situation?

| >>984053
I've spent years in therapy and tbh I get more out of singular random conversations with my wife while high than I got in total during all those years

Most recently I was on the team for Mario Wonder which was honestly pretty cool. Of course corporate work is always demanding but I enjoyed it! Was a lot more free on things there than on previous projects. For those previous projects I honestly mostly worked on ports or helped out a little where needed. Nothing special

| >>984092
>I get more out of singular random conversations with my wife while high than I got in total during all those years
as a raving advocate for therapy, this almost hurts to hear

| >>984117 >fell for the therapy meme

| >>984117
Don't get me wrong I always recommend therapy to people who seem like they might need it and think it's an important thing but it's not for everyone. At least where I went to therapy the aim of therapists was always focused more on having you stfu and do your job/education without killing yourself. They can be very useful for some people and even get them to a good place mentally sometimes but only for certain people

| For me personally I have a very good grasp on mental health related psychology and for the most part understand myself very well. Nothing any therapist ever told me during those years was ever new information or useful to me. In fact multiple times it was harmful to me because they would for example reinforce ideas of my intrusive thoughts being real thoughts and stuff like that which is part of why I've struggled with things like what this thread started with as much as I have

| While the initial thing of it started with trauma from never having witnessed a relationship that wasn't abusive, the reason those intrusive thoughts about normal actions I do potentially being abusive hold so much power over me and I can't discern them is because therapists repeatedly reinforced the idea that I do want to abuse people, even though the thought of harming someone I love terrifies me like nothing else. So personally it did me more harm than good

| will tou give your future children special access to nintendo projects?

| >>984131
If we do decide to take in a kid or two at some point I wouldn't want to raise a them while still working here. If I'm in a situation where it's possible I'd probably stay at home for them full time, or at least work a job that's a bit less demanding part time so that I'd have the time to raise them well and take proper care of them

| *raise them

| >>984138 man I don't know you in person so I may be off, what I think is since you grow around bad examples of relationships probably your parents, siblings, relatives, people who you rely on for learning about the world in an early stage of life age 0 to around 18, and you realized that the way they manage their relationship is bad, and it isn't the kind of relationship you want with your wife (god bless you for that). ((to be continued blow))

| >>984162
That's more or less it. My parents were only together because they thought divorced parents at an early age would hurt their kids more than staying together in a toxic and loveless marriage would. Most my friends and my now wife are survivors of abusive relationships and have experienced similar things with their parents. I just never witnessed a relationship that did more good than harm until my own relationship with my wife and I would never want to subject her to that

| you know you are thinking too much about the past, think about the future who you want to be as a person, what the kind of relationship you want with your wife, what kind of kids you want to grow

| man I have hope in you already got the why and you need the where and how so go man search for theme

| >>984166 was meant for this>>984138

| but anyhow don't let the past bring you down

| >>984166
Don't worry! I do. I'm more or less at peace with my past. I'll reflect on it sometimes as it can help me understand things like why things like what started this thread can happen sometimes but I don't let it hurt me anymore. I have worked a lot and gotten to a place where talking or thinking about it does not hurt me anymore. It's simply like going through notes or skimming through a character backstory now. I live a very happy life and am very grateful for it

| >>984167 >>984169
Thank you! I have no plans on kids any time soon. There is no rush but I would like to some day when I'm fully ready and I will not let anything get me down!

| fightuuuuu

| man fuck its weird janny pls delete this >>984193

| >>984194 I disagree, this>>984193 is a very high quality on topic post, the person behind it had a clear superior intellectual mind than you, an enigma!
Maids do not listen to this charlatan.

| >>984127 >>984128
very fair
I've always believed that a bad therapist can do much more harm than not going to therapy at all
cope about it

| >>984208
It's less of a bad therapist and more of a bad system where I went at least. Finding somebody who's decent at the job was as an exception and not the other way around. They are thought in a way where they don't know how to handle stuff that hasn't been in their books and they generally mistreat queer and neurodivergent people. As someone who is both and dealt with mental issues that were not in their books nothing good can come out of that system for me

| A good therapist can do wonders and for other people it's very helpful of course but I would not call it just a bad therapist thing

| Just ask her to poop on you already

| >>984208
>cope about it
>t faggot therapy
you seem to cope a lot lol

| Not gonna lie, I'd hated therapy until I got a therapist that shut the fuck up with regards to medicalized moralizing and treated me like an actual, non-retarded person who could process things on her own (nudging me towards the right path with her own experience)

People can chisel themselves, but sometimes they expert guidance, and that's okay. Much better than being a bitter mf like >>984215

| >>984216 weird cope, did your therapist teach you that?

| >>984215
keep babbling retard :)

| >>984254
faggot :V

| >>984207
me being more intellectual than me :>

Total number of posts: 45, last modified on: Mon Jan 1 00:00:00 1699272948

This thread is permanently archived