danger/u/
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Give me a new bio for dating apps pls

| Give me a new bio and I'll use each one of em for a day. I only ask that you keep it civil but I'll still put it up for a day ( I'll also keep you posted on if any of them get me matches)


| I can lift a fully-grown horse above my head, and i can hold my breath for ten minutes. To settle a wager, I once ate a pound of P.B. Fouke's strongest badger poison and then i ran a mile im the nude. I cannot feel pain, and i can see for two miles unaided by a lens. No man can kill me. I have beaten a man of every race in formal combat, including a Turk, a Pygmy Negro Man and a rare Deepwater Jew.


| P.S. A medical doctor and two priests have written and signed a document confirming i have no soul.


| Location: Glitch City
Job: Sugar Daddy
Sexuality: Gay
Build: Athletic
About me: I am a vulnerable guy who needs to be held by big strong arms. I am a man in need of looking after. I want to be told that I am the only guy in the world. I've got a shit load of cash and I want to spend it on the first guy I meet. Hey man, I've got so much lettuce I could open a salad bar. It's all you can eat when you're rolling with me. That's how I roll.


| Likes: Need to have big arms. Defined delts, lats, and triceps a must! Money, dollar bills, baby! All that shit. Men who let me pay the check. Bling. Bodies. Hell yeah! Don't mind people who use bull shark testosterone as long as they don't have funny balls.


| Dislikes: Weird balls. People who take money and go into hiding and think they ain't ever going to be found (joke). Hot women, titties, all that straight shit. America's Next Top Model - if they did that show with rent boys maybe then I'd watch it.


| OP MUST POST PROOF


| OP WILL NOT DELIVER


| Looking for some serious and safe action, must wear protection all the time, lots of stamina required, toys are alowed but only if wielded correctey.

Must not be afraid of goblins and dragons and respect the DM, who is my dad btw.


| I will just gotta finish with work and set up the profile


| ***WET YOGA CLASS***
You will be completely soaked in herbal liquid. Attendees MUST learn to fold / unfold their genitals. Do not attend if you can't hold your breath for 33 lunar seconds.

Buckets / rags available for $6
FREE tree bark snack provided

*Please do not eat* onions 48 hours before class

(there will be loud screaming)

Please bring signed waiver agreeing to allow The Great Horned Owl to observes you silently for the duration of the Wet Yoga Practice


| Oh god I'm excited to get to this one >>845264


| Bio: Have sex and have fun.


| https://imgur.com/a/vBrTUhk
it begins. new tinder meta.


| also if i get banned first day that would be fucking incredible


| https://imgur.com/a/FFQAxql
surely it has to be a bot.. right? or didnt read the bio?


| 3 matches so far, and one person actually talkin in the dms >>845212 is the record to beat


| Osaka/11/F


| Did OP run away?


| Oh shit sry I'm retarded


| I believe that a good date should start with a good conversation. And a good conversation should start with an interesting topic. Sometimes I like to mix it up a bit and that's exactly this text is not what you think it is! What do I mean by that? Well, message me and find out!


| Sorry! I forgot one word! Fixed version incoming!


| I believe that a good date should start with a good conversation. And a good conversation should start with an interesting topic. Sometimes I like to mix it up a bit and that's exactly why this text is not what you think it is! What do I mean by that? Well, message me and find out!


| OP is... pretty damn cool!


| >>845305
But... where's the PS?


| "I will wear cat ears on our date"


| >>845799 unfortunately it wouldnt fit, it has a character limit. I thought itd be pretty damn funny to have it cut off super abruptly but I wanted it to at least be coherent. Also over night got 6 more likes and 2 matches. This bio is doing gods work


| Also the first ever match unmatched me :(


| >>845846
Because you didn't put the PS


| im an artist,comic,writer actor ,i sand as a celebrity round contestant on americas got talent season six i sang for tyrant,jack and bonny falk in stone gypsy.


| [inser age] years of no experience, pleased to make your acquaintance.

Total number of posts: 31, last modified on: Wed Jan 1 00:00:00 1648579558

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