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it won't stop hurting
| >I whip out my diamond dick
>girl kisses and teases the tip
>starts sucking but somethin ain't right
>she gags and pukes in my lap
>look down to see dick cheese in my foreskin
>ohshit.jpg
>she's still retching and gagging
>her mom hears commotion and finds us
>mom smacks me up and drags me out
>I walk home with puke on my clothes and dick cheese in my drawers
>never talk to girl again
>crippling regret, no intimacy since
| you're right, this is cringe
| Radioactive cock OP's prequel
| Fermented dick cheese
| Wash your dick you fucking swine
| >crack open my cheapest wine, we are watching a movie and talking a bit.
>She is apparently a bit of a lightweight and wine goes straight to her head, we get talking about sex.
>She mentions her ex never went down on her. I say something along the lines of "what an idiot".
>She goes in for a kiss, we kiss for about 5 seconds.
>She pulls away, then I for reasons unknown need to fill a non-existent void...
>"you know, I could give you the old lickaroo"
| Why did you both stop with the puke? The cheese puke salsa in your g/u/rldick just makes it even better. You missed a great opportunity.
You should've asked her to try it again another time! With even more cheese!
| I've seen some pretty sexy milk puking blowjob porn. I'm sure dick cheese isn't all that bad. It's only smellz
| Should I hit up my old crush? I can't stop thinking about her now. Does she hate me I wonder? Would it be too weird to just chat her up out of the blue?
FWIW I DO clean my dick good now. And no I don't have a stank dick fetish. It was a one time honest accident. My dick is spotless and smells like a tea tree oil!
| >I don't have a stank dick fetish.
that's weird. why
| >>826053 Do you like sewage peepee?? I have some extreme swamp ass that trickles down to my balls sometimes. It's like marinating two tea bags in New York gutter water.
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| >be me, sexless me
>have dry spell ongoing for years
>laying in bed when cringe flashback hits
>recall that one time a girl actually liked me
>one day girl invites me to "study" at her house
>we get handsy and start play wrestling
>girl notices my boner and pokes it
>she asks to see it
>take turns showing off our genitals
>we makeout and dry hump
>I eat her pussy like it's a jar of nutella
>says she wants to return the favor