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Hookup culture is hurting me.
| ...and that my priorities when it comes to girls rn is finding someone that's actually meaningful. Tbh I never quite got how people can detach sex from humanity like that by hooking up with strangers, it's just not my thing. Then she says she understands and spews this polyamory bullshit (that I believe to be a petty excuse to fuck anything that moves and no better than cheating) and I end up just leaving confused. Thank god I dodged that bullet and refused her attempt to kiss me..
| ...my issue rn is that I've come to the realization that people just don't want to connect with others anymore or commit, it's such a damn shame. I know there's no such thing a happily ever after in a relationship, but I find that, even with the struggle, it has so much more value being able to care for someone and for them to care about you on a deep level. I'm unable to meet a girl and get anything meaningful out of them anymore, most of them just want a one night stand with me..
| I don't know, I needed to write this down, I just feel a bit hopeless right know... Girls and relationships aren't my priority in life but y'know, sometimes I'm sitting at home by myself and think, damn it would feel nice to be loved. Anyway what's your take on this g/u/rls?
| How many time do we need to tell you to have sex and have fun op
| The only one who can't connect or understand people is the narrator in this story. She's open about what she wants and who she is and he insult her for it... kinda lame tbh.
The entire thing reads like it was made up by a projecting misogynic neet.
| >and spews this polyamory bullshit
This entire thread is bait.
OP wrote four damn posts in order to bait.
| Ok...
| >>ef44a3 I never insulted her btw, I'm glad she told me she had different priorities. I don't think any less of her. If the roles were reversed and this was a man I was talking about instead of a lady the things I read here would be very different.
| OP didn't insulted her. They both just were not very compatible with each other.
That aside, I feel you OP. I'm ace and maybe a bit demisexual, and I feel exactly like you feel towards those things.
I also want to commit to a single person for the rest of my life, but I mostly think it's impossible. I've been working on accepting this belief of mine.
Personally, seeking a relationship and working very hard on it, it's not worth it if it's going to be less than 40 years together
| >>809329 I'm a bit hopeless too in regards to that as well but even if it was short term monogamous relationship for example that's still more meaningful than a hookup.
Our youth is being sold a shoddy bill of goods by the media telling them than promiscuity is the way to go. Consenting adults can do whatever they want and it's none of my business but you ultimately have to wonder how healthy it is to be treated like a sexual object and reduced to just flesh. Just my two cents.
| OP all these things you are saying about how the system/culture/media/etc is not in your favor are exactly like some of my depression thoughts (except I get communist instead of lonely). usually those thoughts are sensible, logical, and are about real problems and are also just your brain saying "everything sucks and I hate myself!" which isn't gonna solve the problem. if you have thoughts like this a lot you might want to talk to a therapist.
| these things you are saying ALSO sound like you have been talking to incels. like g/u/rl you just unironically posted about how someone wants to "fuck anything that moves." most people don't say that! please do not get blackpilled it is NOT worth it.
| >>b60c04 this g/u/rl is speaking wisdom, op. You sound like an ok person with some bad influences.
Like, perhaps a party where people get drunk is not the best place to find a long-term relationship? Please please please don't generalize just from one bad experience.
| If she told you she'd be interested in a one night stand exclusively, then that's what she's interested in. If she offers one thing and you expect something else, then that's not on her.
Also, don't start thinking incel stuff like "all girls are the same", because if you think for more than a second that's obviously not true. You're low-key talking kinda creepy, but not quite full incel vibe, so don't fall down that rabbit hole.
| Also this: >>809359
Like, do you genuinely think someone goes partying because they want to form a meaningful romantic relationship with someone? Get real.
And, like, get off incel forums as soon as possible. Stop browsing them. Try to think logically instead of with Reddit logic.
I'm not saying this to insult you. It's to warn you. Because I've seen people go down that path and, well, they end up becoming extremely unpleasant people.
| I love sex.
| Long term relationships are good but remember to be extremely cautious who you let into your life. Because they may be extremely manipulative and a bi-polar bitch of an ex-girlfriend to your friend who is going to try their best to make your life and other around them miserable and then subsequently scream and shout at all hours about the most inconsequential of minor and petty things.
| >>b60c04 not really? I don't hate myself nor talk to incels. I'm not trying to make a case for myself here I know there's shit wrong with me but the way you think I am is very warped, this is an anonymous board, you can only judge so much.
| >>f51e04 I never said that! Jeez you guys love taking shit out of context, one thing I'll give you is that a party is not the right place to meet the kind of relationship I look for.
Also you guys label me an incel but do you even know what that means? Involuntarily celibate. I could have fucked this girl and previous ones if I wanted to because they're the ones that have suggested it but I made the call to refuse the meaningless sex in search of something better.
| I'm OP btw this is a different IP
| >>7dbc58
Sure you could've fucked plenty girls. You're a danger/u/ user, you really intend for us to believe a girl approached you and wanted to have sex with you?
| >>809460 it's ok pal, I'm not here to antagonize you, was only looking for advice...maybe not the right place for it... for context I'm the same guy that almost ended up having sex with his cleaning lady.
| >>809462 are you THAT guy? Lmao
Well, I wish you good luck in your search for meaningful partner g/u/rl, I hope you can find them.
| >>809458
Then provide context, don't make sweeping generalisations and don't talk so weird!
And yes, everyone knows the definition of incel, but nowadays it's used more to describe a certain mindset.
| >>6cb923 I don't know when I made a generalisation? You guys are putting words into my mouth that I haven't said, jeez, when did I say women are evil or bad? I'm saying people as a whole, PEOPLE, specially young people in their twenties don't look for meaningful connections anymore and it saddens me, nothing else.
| >>809524 you're welcome OP*
I don't know why you are being treated like an incel, you just were trying to give your thoughts about the difficulties of looking for meaningful relationships nowadays.
And of course, women are not the only ones guilty of this, men are also guilty as well.
Although I think it's not mostly a thing of "who has the guilt of this problem?", I think it's just the times of these days, there's nothing much we can do about it.
| Just gotta find someone compatible with the same mindset op my gf and I both get into relationships for the long term and we told each other that at the start, be open about what you're after and maybe you'll find someone who wants that to
| >>809457 gurl I am not saying "haha lmao you look like a depressed incel! you suck!" I made that post because I have been mega depressed for the past 8 months and it sucks, and I was making posts exactly like this OP because of it. When I was starting to feel bad, I didn't know I was depressed, and it got worse until I couldn't do anything but lay on the floor all day. Now I'm recovering but I'm about to fail out of my uni because of it.
| I know what being depressed is like now and maybe it is different for you but maybe it's also the same and you just haven't realized you are depressed yet like I didn't.
If you're sure you are not depressed, then you probably aren't, but please don't count out the possibility without actually considering it because it sounds like I'm judging you.
| >>809544
I never said you think they're evil and bad. Just thought that the things you said sounded a lot like you think every chick is the same or very similar, and not worth spending time with.
I'm not trying to insult you or anything. The way you wrote the OP post just worried me since I've seen people talking similarly and ending up incelly. But if that's not how you think then that's great! It just sounded like you were headed down a bad path, so I made assumptions.
| Instead of hookups how about you let me hurt you instead?
| I feel you op. It takes me a couple of months of dating before i am comfortable with having sex with someone, and the amount of girls that jump the gun cuz they don't get any d in the first few weeks it's saddening. Buy hey i roam in quite a few lgbtq circles and meet a lot of ace and demi people, and they are by far my fav dates. That said i've been single for over a year, you wanna have platonic relationship with me g/u/rl? :*
| I got drunk with some vermouth tonight and recently bought some kickass speakers for my TV, vibed to some songs from the Mirror's Edge OST and and Ambient album called 9980, helped me shed some tears, haven't been feeling well lately...it was therapeutic.
| Just thought I might share, I'm planning to have a platonic relationship with this girl but I don't think that'll work out either cause the expectation of her asking me out will always linger in the back of my mind, that ain't healthy, at least not for now, I have to distance myself from her for a while and focus on my own development. It's gonna be hard but I'll make it.
| Man I feel you OP, people nowadays aren't as ready to commit in the longterm as before. Many people just want to have some fun without any strings attached yknow. Nevertheless, people like what you searching for can still be found, just not very likely in parties like those.
| Yeah, so I held a party last night at my home and I'm writing this the morning after, the party was good fun but now I just feel lonely and empty. I just wanna feel someone's honest embrace so much idk why, I've always been pretty ok with being alone but lately I've been surrounded by people and I've never felt this lonely before, it's kind of ironic...anyway that's it,
I needed to write down my thoughts...
| >>809294 I agree with you 100% op, I used to hang out with a group of friends who literally have fucked each other to the point where they had an orgy, I dont anymore and thank god for that
They are promoting whore culture and have no respect for themselves or others
However, talking about this on danger/u/ was à very bad idea as people here are only trolling and some are actual degenerates
Lets wish for our best op
1/2
| And dont settle for less, you know what you want, and apparently what you want is a serious relationship. It's not even about having or marrying, it's only about giving love to one and only person and vice versa
Fuck them whores and fuckboys
Also, to all the people who like hookups, you guys are shit in bed, at least be good before promoting shit
| Insecure people are able to deny anything and everything. They don’t take facts as facts; they’re able to write them off as nothing. Even if all the signs are pointing towards a positive situation, an insecure person will deny it all just to stay on their doomed track.
| Insecure people aren’t rooted in reality. They often live in their imaginations, which is why they’re paranoid and don’t trust others. They lack the logic that proves they are decent people, instead choosing to live in a world where they are often the victims.
| Insecure people spend too much time in their own heads. They put themselves down, thinking the worst of themselves and others. By living in all this negativity, they’re missing out on the best of life. They’re not able to see the good in the people around them, or the beauty in their daily lives.
| >>810836 im literally a woman irl but aight
And when i say woman, I mean real woman, death to trannies
| >>810849 I don't get what the point of this quotations are, it ain't about insecurity rather about what I'm looking for, my values, I feel so fucking lonely recently, I've got no parents, no family, nobody, I don't wanna take someone I barely know to bed, that's the path to degeneracy imho and it's not healthy, regardless not my business what consenting adults do in bed, just not my cup of tea, I need to give and receive love, I'm not a sex toy.
| >>811017 >"I'm not a sex toy"
Literally what other men should be thinking
You're really nice op, you have valuable standards and that's very manly and good
| >>811025
It's common sense in a world where everyone else has gone completely mad.
I'm glad I started watching Jordan Peterson 4 years ago, that man has made me realize a lot of things in life, one of them being that there's nothing casual about sex...
| >>811093
>getting your life lessons from a benzo snorting grifter
And now we know why you are like this.
| You can find love in vrchat...
| >>811179 He had a really rough time with benzodiazopine yes. But he's probably more well articulated than you and has a wife and kids that love him and overall has helped many people...
Can you say the same about yourself?
He might not be perfect, I don't agree with everything he says but his lectures have a lot of value to many people, not just myself. Your comment comes off as very resentful and angry.
Take a hard look at yourself and try to debate instead of insult blindly.
| You sound like a niceguy.
| this is a great thread
>polyamory is basically cheating
wahhhh they're different to me and I don't get it
>drunk at a party
>girl says she wants to kiss you
>y'all go back to her friend's place
>"sorry, i don't want to kiss"
LOL
keep being you g/u/rl
| >>811093
>sex is unbearably intimate
>casual sex is great
both are true, casual intimacy is based, brushing your soul against a stranger you'll never see again can be an incredibly meaningful experience
| >>811492
>Opens with an ad-hominem
>Proceeds to try and take the high road and encourage debate
You don't even know what a debate consists of, hon. No wonder you're not smart enough to identify Peterson for what he is: An unapologetic grifter that feeds off of the intellectually insecure.
| By the way your samefagging is still remarkably transparent. Like, people keep telling you we're not buying into it so it must be one of your weird-ass coping mechanics at this point.
| >>812128 you know what, initially I was gonna write a well articulated response but I'm gonna go full caveman on you and I'm just gonna tell you to go fuck yourself. God bless ya mate
| jeez...
| This thread has no right to be this long
| >>809292
>polyamory bullshit (that I believe to be a petty excuse to fuck anything that moves and no better than cheating)
Please don't generalize. Just because many people (mis)use it as an excuse for uncomplicated one night stands (which shouldn't need to be excused in the first place) it doesn't mean, polyamory isn't a thing.
You could also see it the other way, that monogamy and loyality are excuses for insecure and lazy people who just want to effortlessly "own" a partner.
| Btw. I don't like ONSes and the usual hookup culture too. But I also don't believe in relationsships based on idealistic/religious stuff (e.g. the ideology of "Love"). In the end every relation between human beeings are ecomical relationships. I would never expect eternal loyality from a single person since there is nothing equal I would give in return.
It's a balance act not being driven/ruled by lust but at the same time not by some puritanical ideology created by unhappy idiots.
| >>47d710 Hey man, I strongly disagree but you make interesting points. Thank you for not being a douche about it.
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| I kinda need to write this down, the other day at a party I met with this girl I was interested in, when we were drunk she confessed to me that she wouldn't mind kissing me (in like a one night stand kind of way). When we get back to her friend's place we lay on the couch and I tell her I'm not a fan of hooking up, let alone kissing a stranger and that I'd actually like to get to know her first...