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lost my virginity

| I am 18 years old and I am just lost my vaginal virginity.

| I love sex.

| Uh oh. Where did you put it last? Have you tried retracing your steps? Good luck OP!

| >>610104 fuck sex

| >>610114 thats the plan

| Congrats. I'm keeping mine till I die

| >>610100 how was it, everything you've ever dreamed of?

| >>610100
Okay, no more toy rockets for you.

| >>610128 he said *vaginal*...

| >>610130
*He* said vaginal?

| No refunds

| >>610130

| tfw 25 and still didn't lost my anal virginity, not even penis one

| >>610188 I have a suggestion... it's kind of like Oroboros...

Just don't be like Fry and become your own grandpa...

| Fuck sex

| being a permanent virgin isnt what hurts. its knowing that ill always be loveless and alone, and knowing theres nothing i could have done differently in life to change that.

| >>610442 I mean not thinking that way is a start
Can't expect someone to want you when you don't even want yourself

| >>610448
who would want a literal pedo?
no matter what im fucked with no hope for a good outcome

| >>610501
Bro, I feel you. Legit. Being pedo doesn't mean you can't live a decent life though. Your life is going to be just objectively worse than that of someone who isn't, your life is still worth living. Trying to make the best out of your life and focus on things that aren't sexual is very important in your situation. You will not be loveless. Love is not just a sexual thing. You can be very, very close with someone without it being a sexual or romantic relationship. Good luck.

| >>610504
im almost 30 and have no human connections outside of the internet with other pedos, because nobody could love a pedo besides another pedo. im sick of being subject to so much hate, and a worldwide campaign to stamp out the concept of my existence. laws are passed to ban things people think someone like me might like!

i cant be open about any of this with any living soul. they would try to hurt me.

im unloveable and i want to die. nothing can be done to change this.

| >>610506
I want you to fuck off and stop being a bitch. While I've still got a while until I'm 30 I'm MA too, and it fucking sucks. I too assumed that anyone who knew would hate me, would want to fuck me up. But when I finally broke down and couldn't take it anymore I told my parents and some of my friends. I wanted to die out of pure fear and anxiety, it's legitimately the hardest thing I have ever done, but they accepted me. They accepted me, and all that pain was worth it.

| >>610508
i mean, i have told my parents years ago out of desperation. they are not very emotional close to begin with. i dont have any friends. im not interested in trying to make any just to have them tear me down. im not a masochist.

you may have a life worth living idk, ill never tell you otherwise. i just dont see how mine is.

im glad that you are happy with your life, gurl

| >>610510
I feel like that may be your main issue. You're scared of human contact, relationships. Honestly, you really should see a therapist. Anything that can make you feel even just a little bit better is worth it.

You say I'm happy, but I'm not. There's a difference between having a life worth living and being happy. While actual happiness is rare for me, the few times where I do genuinely feel happy are worth living for, even if it hurts and is hard to get.

| >>610513
human contact is scary indeed. it is not irrational to be afraid.

do you have experience with therapy? telling a therapist about MA? if yes how did that go for you?

i started therapy in spite of the risk but that is not a topic i will be quick to broach. please dont think im not trying all that i can! i have an obligation to my inter et friends who depend on me...

| haha ur a loser OP

| >>610501 oh guess I missed that, maybe another pedo since you could relate

| >>610518
yeah that kind of limits all relations to words on a screen...

| >>610519 not sure I see why but there are states where it's not explicitly illegal to fuck a goat, and a young goat is called a kid *rimshot*

| >>610522
you are gross

| >>610516
Human contact can definitely be intimidating, and when you're not used to it fearing it is not irrational at all. It's something that needs to be worked on though.

I do actually, but I only told him about it very recently, so we haven't talked about it that much. I'd say it's definitely worth it, as therapists are very understanding of that sort of thing and talking about it with them makes it easier for them to help you deal with all the mental problems.

| >>610516
I'm very glad to hear that you're working on things! You also seem to have at least one reason to live, one thing to hold on to, which is a really good thing when trying to improve yourself. I hope therapy is going well for you.

| >>610523 I take it you didn't appreciate my joke

| >>610524
telling therapists is very dangerous. they have a track record of being abusive to us. if yours was going to do something abusive to you i think it would have already happened though. i dont think mine would do something abusive but if i get a bad vibe i keep a bug out bag ready. i wont let anyone take away my autonomy.

when you told him, did he have an interesting initial reaction? did he have any prior knowledge or exposure to the subject?

| >>610543
He's not abusive, luckily.

His reaction wasn't anything special, it was more a "Huh. That could explain some stuff." and mostly him being a combination of curious and understanding, though of course not too curious, he's a professional after all. He hasn't had anyone like that before and he had done some research between session last time we talked, so he's probably not too educated on the topic. He doesn't need to be though, since it's the anxiety etc that's the problem.

| >>610548
that sounds really good. yeah, its not necessary they know about it beforehand. im glad he was curious and interested. i guess thats the reaction im looking for. instead of a phonecall to the police. based on something she said in the last session i dont think shed do that though...

| >>610561
Calling police about something like that unless you are actively committing crimes against kids is not something they can legally do.

| >>610572
therapists are required by law to report to the police someone who they believe poses a danger to children.

they are supposed to have a concern of a specific threat to a specific child. however there is no penalty for "overreporting" to be safe, and they can face fines or losing their license for not reporting.

so we see them reporting pedos to the police. this shouldnt happen, but it does due to ignorance, lack of training, incompetence, and fear.

| in fact when i was researching therapists in my area i learned of a new incident where a lawful pedo's life was destroyed by such an incident. he lost his job and became homeless. could not get housing again because of an "ongoing investigation" on him they wouldnt drop, even though they didnt find anything on the electonics they stole.

idk if he successfully killed himself or not.

it pushed me back from making an appointment for a few months while my mental health nosedived...

| >>610585
I've heard about cases like that. It's so fucking sad and oppressive. I hate it. If you go to a proper therapist who is a trained professional it shouldn't be a problem though.

I wish people would just educate themselves on MA instead of being scared of us and wanting us all dead. Fuck sake.

| >>610589
before that one, there was this high school kid in Canada who told the school counselor, and not only did they report him, but the kid has to go around school with not one, but TWO tard wranglers because the school system is so terrified hes going to suddenly mount someone who is under 16.

the world expert on pedophiles and an expert in child sex abuse prevention tried to talk to the school and educate them but they basically said to fuck off. idk where that kid is now...

| proper professionals are still not safe. many are unethical. some just refuse to help and give no referral. some give referrals to sex offender treatment facilities which DO NOT know how to handle non-offending pedos, others push conversion therapy, and i heard of one holding a client hostage, saying they have to continue sessions or they will report them to the police.

i guess i should put "professional" in sarcastic quotes. unethical people work in every field, i guess.

| >>610592
Well, yeah. I kinda meant people who aren't that fucking dumb and disgusting. It is really true though, that professionals have no idea how to handle MA, which is why I'm so glad mine reacted kind of passively.

If I was that kid I'd probably kill myself. That sounds so fucking awful.

I'm gonna end our conversation here though. It's giving me some pretty bad anxiety and I feel bad for hijacking this thread.

| >>610594
i dont feel too bad highjacking a thread like this lol. thanks for the convo, i think it helped me calm down a little. please take care.

| >>610599
I'm glad I could help. Good luck.

| >>3d042f >>ad4ab6 interesting, and we've talked about this before. I hope you are both doing OK and can find some peace in this world. Not everyone is as hateful as you think, but the ones who are, are proud of it and make a lot of noise. I good to be safe, but you also need to avoid secluding yourself more than necessary. I wish I had a solution, but I guess, if it's worth something, you have my support as humans who deserve to be understood as they are, and respected regardless.

| >>3d042f >>ad4ab6 one thing, maybe I'm missing something, but I can't find it on internet, what does MA stand for?

| >>610665
Thank you! That's really nice.

MA = minor attracted.

| >>610665
thanks for your kindness

| >>610665 hateful? I'd say reasonable, considering who they're dealing with. I doubt anyone would unclench their buttcheeks around a pedo, no matter how much they try to inhibit their inclinations.

| >>610728
But why is that reasonable? That's like a bad being scared of gay men because "What if they suddenly ass rape me?". It's like being scared of Muslims because 0.001% of them are terrorists. I know that there is a difference between these things. Gay people are allowed to have sex with people of their own gender, and they should. Pedos aren't allowed to fuck kids and for good reasons. I'm completely against lowering the age of consent. I just don't see how it's reasonable.

| I have never done anything bad. I have no plans to do anything bad. I don't want to hurt anyone. A very, very big majority of us never do anything bad. So why hate me? Why be scared of me when I honestly want the best for everyone? When I do my best to be a good person? Why want me dead just because of something I'm born with? Just because I'm attracted to someone I can't have sex with? I'm not a rapist, I'm not a bad person, and I don't want to be, but I'm still painted as one.

| >>610731 because social ostracizasion harshly reinforces the belief that these kinds of inclinations will lead to severe repercussions. It may be cruel, but I believe that a level of scapegoating needs to exist, so that it is abundantly clear that this behavior is a harsh moral downfall in addition to the expected criminal misdemeanor

| >>610734
I did not understand a single thing of what you said. Could you dumb it down for me?

| >>610734 I think there are two ways of looking at it, and the way you are describing is what leads to further repression and deviant behaviour. If there is no clear way for a person to be acceptable, then they begin to believe they are unacceptable. Behaviour follows belief, so at some point, the "criminal" commits crime, because they are fulfilling their "destiny". There can be a very serious penalty for criminal behaviour, but accept and intervene if possible before that happens.

| >>610734 this is the *natural* way that human societies have dealt with undesired behaviour, but not necessarily the best. The body naturally reacts in many ways that are counter to it's best interests i.e. deadly allergies, blocking circulation to infection, because that has given the best results so far on an evolutionary basis, but medicine can do things the body can't, so we actually block the body from its natural state to allow for more advanced treatment and healing.

| >>610740 tl;dr if you point a finger at bad man, he's gonna understand just how bad he is believed to be, therefore pointing at bad man has the right to exist

>>610758 perhaps, I am no criminal psychology expert, hell, not even a dabbler. But without a clear effort to help these people with their issues, aside from their own initiative to visit psychologists and the like, it is the one tested way for a society to deal with the fact of their existence. Not like I empower some kind

| of muslim-like zealotry towards their extermination, that is a horrific vision for anyone. I simply feel like it is far from an unreasonable reaction, given how low of a priority such issues are given light of in our societies, although it's not like I can speak for everyone, and maybe there are countries with programs to help such people.

| >>610767
The thing is though, that countries don't have proper programs for people like us, and the reason is that people don't respect us because we are seen as monsters. Telling someone they're bad doesn't make them less bad, because having these feelings is not something that can be changed. So what do we do when we're told we're bad? Well, we embrace it and become what society tells us we are, because we are treated the same either way. Do you not see how flawed that is?

| >>610774 given how there are rehabilitation centers for criminals in certain countries, I believe it's not outlandish for me to assume that it's not a problem of public disapproval that's stopping such institutions from arising. I'm also not saying that it is possible to change such feelings by condemnation, but rather the subject's outlook on such feelings. If everyone else finds them despicable and disqusting, you would be likely to as well, no?

| >>610779
Yes! I would! That's the fucking problem! Why the fuck is it good that I hate myself? Why the fuck do you think that's going to help me in any way? There's a reason why I've got constant anxiety. There's a reason why I'm never happy. There's a reason why I want to shut myself away from the world and cry under my blankets til I die. It's because of people like you telling me I'm disgusting. Telling me I'm a bad person for something that is not my fault. Fuck you.

| researchers are scared to look at us. professors turn their students away from looking at us too, due to stigma and fear of association. those that do get death threats.

with the very little research thats progressed, theyre seeing that of all the child sexual abuse that happens, 2/3rds or more are perpetrated by non-pedophiles.

your focus is being grossly misdirected and society is deliberately preventing itself from understanding who is causing harm to these children.

| we are given no room for an existence that is tolerated. existing even while law abiding isnt tolerated.

yes, there are harsh penalties. but my existence is already treated as a plague on the earth, the reason i dont harm a child is NOT fear of the law. my life is already forfeit due to fucking assholes like you.

the only reason i dont is because my stupid ass sexuality makes me value the happiness of children above all else and i genuinely dont want to do harm

so suck my dick

| >>610863
Yeah, this also something so many people are unable to understand. Why the fuck would I hurt kids when I love them? It doesn't make sense! I want the best for the ones I love, so why should it be different just because I love someone you don't?

The logic people like >>777a89 try to use against us is so fucking flawed and people are too dumb to realise it.

| >>610872 not like you'd intentionally hurt them, but such relationships will affect children later on in their lives. Physical abuse is not the biggest of possible concerns when it comes to pedohphilic relationships

| >>610886
Being in a romantic relationship with a minor hurts them! That's why I'm not in one and not trying to be in one. Didn't I just say I don't want to hurt them? I never said that it's only physically I don't want to hurt them. Mentally is what fucks people up in the long run and ruins their lives, and I don't want to ruin their lives. Fucking hell you're dumb.

| >>777a89 >>ad4ab6 less reactionary yelling please. A lot of this is miscommunication and assumption.>>777a89 never condemned>>ad4ab6 feelings, but is unclear what>>ad4ab6 wants for their life, and how they intend to function in the real world.>>ad4ab6 is interpreting this as an attack because that is what they expect from others, but it's not. We need to take a step back...

| >>610910
How is supporting the shaming of people like me not an attack? Do you know how hard it is to constantly feel shamed and unwanted by society? I know I'm probably being a bit too aggressive, but I try my best to be a good person, and then >>777a89 says that people like me being driven to suicide is better than us being accepted and assumes that I'm in a relationship with a minor. I'm sorry I can't think rationally right now. I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack.

| >>610916 where did I assume that you are in a relationship with a minor or that it's good for you to be driven to suicide? Because I did not. I, from the beginning, simply stated that the current public reaction to you and people with similar issues is not unwarranted, and I never assumed you were engaged in such activities, God forbid, it simply looked like you were in denial about the psychological effects of such relations.

| >>610916 I do not believe that actively driving pedophiles to suicide is the better option, it is what it is. I'm saying that this is simply expected, and that changing such an opinion is incredibly hard, seeing how there are still stigmas around people who have been wrongly convicted of rape or murder. If anything, It'd be better for everyone if there was a push for safe spaces to properly treat people with such issues, both aiding them and easing the public to them

| >>610917 >>610918
Fuck. I feel really bad now. I'm sorry. I'm just really sensitive when it comes to this shit and so used to the worst that I didn't think clearly.

I'm really sorry. What you say is completely reasonable and I agree fully with what you're saying. I think I just didn't understand. Sorry.

| >>610920 I do apologize as well if my speeches sounded antagonizing.

| >>610924
They did, but I probably should have read them a little closer before assuming you support that we're treated poorly. I just hate people who hate us even though we're innocent, so when I thought that was what you did I got really anxious and aggressive.

Thank you and >>3b81e0 for explaining and clearing things up even though I was being hard to deal with.

| <3

| Never thought there'd be so many pedos out there.

| i want fuck you sex sex

Total number of posts: 75, last modified on: Fri Jan 1 00:00:00 1576561069

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