This thread is permanently archived
Kink shaming

| Ever done it? Or do you simply not care about that person's kink?

| Nope.
If someone's kink was being shamed, would that person be invincible?

| shame me mommy!

| I hate kink shaming. People shouldn't be treated like shit just because they don't have the same preferences as someone else.

| Depends
If you do it to someone who likes it, is it really kinkshaming?

| What if being kink shamed is your kink?
Then should I kink shame you to respect your preference or not kink shame you to respect your preference?

| >>565657
Randomly attempting to sexually please someone is not something you should do...

| >>565670 I think I've been doing it wrong??

| >>565692

| Depends on what you call kinkshaming. Attacking someone based on their opinions is usually wrong, and kinks are part of those. But judging an opinion and/or criticising it is normal and good (as long as done properly), so people can freely say that they think a kink is shit or whatever.
Attacking someone usually reinforces their opinions anyway, so it's usually pointless.

| >>565720
I don't really see the point in what you call "criticizing" a fetish. Criticizing an opinion makes sense as opinions are something that can be changed.

You can can't change your kinks. Kinks are something you have and can't do anything about. That's like criticizing someone for being gay or having a different skin colour than you.

Criticizing someone for something that's not their fault is not criticism. It's just being mean to someone because they're different from you.

| It's just discrimination.

| >>34916f What if you're into liking kids? That'discrimination too, but people find it more acceptable.

| >>565746
as one who likes kids, yes people "find it acceptable", but shouldnt.

that kind of stigmatization is believed by researchers to increase the likelihood of a pedo committing a sexual offense and is counterproductive to protecting children. therapy is based on a pedo learning to feel comfortable with their attractions and stigma only works in opposition to the purpose of any "help" or therapy a pedo can get.

tl;dr kink shaming indirectly endangers society and can fuck off.

| >>565767 Couldn't have said it better myself! Glad to see another pedo here uwu

>Captcha: elsa tread fast

| >>565782 >>565767 agreed kink shaming pedos is wrong and makes them more likely to assault a kid
That's why we should just straight up kill them so they don't have a chance to touch a kid

| >>565730 Criticising things allows people to get a better point of view on them. Obscurantism is never good, and criticising something allows for debates and consensus.
Assuming that kinks can't change (I have serious doubts about that), criticising them would still allow everyone to get a better understanding of others, and I don't see how it could be bad.
Because of course, when I said criticism, I implied that the others could reply and debate.

| >>565826 criticizing isn't really the same as debating. In this case there is not a "right" answer and it's solely a matter of personal opinion/taste. We can talk about something as an experience someone else has that we don't have, and learn about their experience. If something they say isn't consistent or logical, we can challenge them to explain. Perhaps they have never thought about it in that way etc. So, it's another person's self and they have every right to it.

| >>565817
great idea. using brain scans we can safely tell someone is a pedo as young as 3 years of age. i suggest we kill them all at that age before they can do anything bad.

| >>565767 >>565782 >>565817
I completely agree. The fact that discrimination against pedophiles is so accepted is fucked up and is a perfect example of how hypocritical most people are.

The fact that you believe kinks can't change means you don't have any of the unwanted ones. I think I might be pedo even though I'm not purely attracted to kids. Being low key pedo makes me feel really bad and it's not something I want to be, so please tell me how the fuck I can change that.

| >>565845
That's actually a great idea! The government should start doing brain scans on young kids and kill everyone who doesn't meet their criteria for "perfect human being". That way the risk of overpopulation would be completely non-existent and everyone would be identical. Truly a perfect world.

Your philosophy actually reminds me a lot of the main philosophy of a famous philosoper from the 1900s. You may have heard of him. His name was Adolf Hitler. Truly a great man.

| >>565857
Adolf Hitler was the stuff of legends

| >>565856 try reading>>565817 to the end
the start was a bait to see if people were actually reading the posts
By the second half was saying that we should kill all pedos to protect the kids

| aha! now nobody can tell who was being for real and who was deliberately saying outrageous things!

happy to see you too and hope you are doing well for yourself and living the best that you can

| ooh also >>34916f it sounds like you're a nonexclusive who has attraction to both adults and children, or you're questioning and not sure.

i'll just reiterate that it's important to find acceptance for whatever attractions you must live with, but also it's important to experience and explore the attractions you feel towards same-aged partners. don't shut yourself away out of fear or feelings of disgust for yourself. you deserve more than that.

| >>565829 Criticising is part of debating. Maybe the word "criticise" is a bit too negatively connoted, but the idea I was trying to convey is that all ideas should be confronted and judged, even if in the end it doesn't give any answer.

And you could say that there's a "right". In the case of pedo kink, for example, you can say that it is bad (in the current morals). Doesn't mean that the ones having it are bad, or that it should be banned or whatever.

| >>565856 The reason I said that they couldn't be changed is because I experienced it myself. So it is, at least in certain cases, possible.
Such changes can occur with really bad experiences that replace the kink by disgust. Not a pleasant thing, but still.
And once again, maybe it doesn't work with everyone, and maybe there are other ways. But with the brain's adaptability, I don't believe that it can be impossible to change.

| >>565883
I'll admit that it's probably not impossible, but in most cases I believe it is.

Ah. Sorry. I read it to the end, just tagged the wrong posts. Meant to do >>565746 >>565767 >>565782.

| >>565880
Well, possibly, but I don't think it's entirely correct. Thing is, I'm not yet an adult. I'm soon to be 16 which is the age of consent where I live, but I'm not considered by other nor by myself to be an adult before I'm 18. That's why it's confusing.

I'm attracted to girls my age (15-16) but I'm also attracted to people as attracted to the ones as young as 10-11. Another confusing thing is that I don't regularly feel attracted to them.

| I've felt attraction towards some, but it's not usual that I do (it's not really usual that I hang around kids that age either though).

The thing is that I don't know if I will still feel attracted to them in a year or two. I guess it's not as much confusion as it is suspense.

I don't hate myself. Not at all. To be honest I genuinely love myself. I can't help feeling a little uncomfortable about it though. I'm pretty open about it with my friends though which helps a lot.

| Can we all at least agree to kink shame people with a foot fetish?

| >>565895

| >>565895
Foot fetish is, like, the tamest shit...

| >>565897 go suck on some cute toes or something you footfag
>>565895 correct

| I shame the kinks but never personally. Just the kinks and in front of my less kinky peers

| some people are disgusting

| >>565882 critique I suppose as opposed to criticize. It's clear there isn't a "right" given even just this thread... there are so many ways to look at these types of things, even pedos.

>>565891 You're way too young to be worried about attraction to girls that age. Your brain doesn't all grow up at the same rate, and sexual identity takes much longer to become fully realized. Don't worry about it or you'll get some kind of guilt complex about it :)

>>565897 it's not that it's too kinky, it's that they're so fucking annoying...

| >>566418
Well, the fact that I'm not fully developed is kind of why it worries me. I know you're right, but I can't really help it.

| >>566502 If it bothers you, find a therapist. I mean that completely seriously of course. It's nothing weird, you just hang out and talk for an hour. Since you are still young, now is the best time to work on something like that, or anything else for that matter. Maybe they have more knowledge and can put your mind at ease that it's normal (if it indeed is), or they can help you to work on maturing as a whole person and give you confidence instead of worry and anxiety.

| >>566523


| >>566716
fuck off this is a common issue for people who say theyre attracted to kids. therapists follow mandatory reporting laws even though there is no actual danger present. this is a huge fucking problem and i will not stand by while a g/u/rl will potentially have their entire life destroyed like this

| this is not an isolated issue. this is a widespread problem throughout the western world where mandatory reporting laws are in place. pedos are not safe to walk up to anybody and ask for help.

ill try to remember later to post resources for someone attracted to kids who wants to find therapy. just dont assume its automatically safe to spill the beans to a therapist!

| >>566523
Yeah, nah. I've heard way too many stories about people talking about pedophilia to therapists and getting fucked over for it.

With anything else, like depression or social anxiety I would 100% talk to a therapist about it, but in my country it's a crime to be a pedophile, so I'll have to pass.

I appreciate you worrying about me though, but I think I'll be fine. Even though it sometimes bothers me I'm doing fine. If it ever becomes a real issue I'll get help.

| i only brought the kid i knew about up because its a very recent example and im worried hes going to kill himself

| >>566720
is it OK if i ask your country?
also if the feelings ever become too much to bear you really should consider looking for a peer support community online, talking to people in similar situations helps more than you can imagine

| Ffs bring the trannies back, they were annoying and I hated but pedophiles are straight up disgusting

| Since I don't have any depression or anxiety and am never really fazed by negative things it's not a big issue. As I mentioned I have told my friends about it and if I ever get real anxiety from it I can talk to them.

Yeah. Shits fucked. I really hope people will start to realize that pushing people to the brink of death and ruining their lives is something that isn't fucking ok. I hope the kid survives.

| >>566725
When did they disappear, and why do I get the feeling that you're incredibly insecure?

| >>566727 fuck yes I'm insecure, you son of a bitch
My sister was assaulted by a pedo once, you fuckers should all burn in hell

| >>566726
glad your friends are chill about it. that would be significantly helpful. keeping secrets like that hidden away from people is a tremendous source of stress and anxiety.

p sure that dweeb sounds like the guy who makes those trans hate posts everywhere

| >>566728
And all Muslims did 9/11. I'm genuinely sorry to hear about your sister, but if you took your time to read what we've been saying you'd realize that none of us support rape or sexual assault.

| a significant amount of child sexual abuse is now believed to have been perpetrated by people who are NOT sexually attracted to the kids. sexual attraction is rarely the motivation for the crime. its usually about power and lashing out.

| >>566730
I see your point. The problem is that pedophiles won't get satisfaction without rape or assault, because children havn't developed their sexuality enough to decide such things.
Sexbot development may help one day.

| >>567038
The problem may be that you believe pedophiles are uncontrollable beasts, while in reality most pedophiles would much rather commit suicide than hurt a child. Most of them do, even if they haven't even slightly considered committing anything because of how hated they are.

Yeah. I'm extremely lucky to have them. I've been feeling down lately even though I said I'm fine, and I felt absolutely horrible today, but after talking to one of them I feel way better now.

| >>566718 >>566720 I'm a bit confused about mandatory reporting laws... How exactly can pedophilia be illegal? There are certainly potentially illegal things like CP etc, but saying that you're a pedo can't be illegal... well, I mean, maybe in China with the thought police and all that. If you tell your therapist you raped a child... okay. If you tell her you're concerned because you think a certain age is attractive and want to work on it... o_0

| >>567185
I've at least been told that being a pedophile is illegal here, and every time I've tried Googling about it I've never found a real answer. I think there's some bullshit where they have to report that you're pedo, what happens after that I'm not sure about. They don't arrest you or anything, but I've heard shit about people being labeled sex offenders for saying that they're pedo or being arrested for owning a child like sex doll, so it seems risky.

| >>567191 sounds like bullshit to me, you know? Like rumors and whatnot. I'm not going to say it isn't risky, you're probably right, but if you've done nothing wrong? There's no way they could make you register as a sex offender... people would sue the ever-loving shit out of that state/town/whatever.

I'm curious to know about >>3f3cb2 's story, but preferably not screamed like a fucking hysterical little bitch. If something that bad happened, friend should consult a lawyer...

| >>567195
Maybe. Hopefully. I feel like talking to a professional would actually be a good idea. I'm just kind of scared though. I probably should. Maybe the school nurse or something. They're apparently good to talk you when you've got psychological issues, even though they incorrectly labeled one of my friends as depressed once, just because he's nihilistic.

I'd also like to hear the story, but I wouldn't want them to tell it if it would make them feel bad.

| >>567199 okay, no, *not* the school nurse. They are not trained, and the potential for it going badly are way higher. I get being scared, but take some time, keep it in mind, and when you're ready, look up the therapists in your area. Find one you like the sound of, read reviews etc. If you go there, you will know pretty quickly if you feel comfortable or not. They won't force you to tell them regardless, so if you don't, no harm done.

| I've been in therapy for several years, off and on, and there are lots of things I've never gotten into. It's about you and what you want to talk about. They won't force you to tell them things you don't feel comfortable talking about, that's the worst thing they could do. If you wanted to kind of test the water, present it as the ol' "asking for a friend". Ask them what you should say to that friend, is it normal, has Dr. had other patients like that.

| Tell them friend is worried about mandatory reporting and all that, and you want to ask for them etc...

That's why I'm saying it's hardly possible for it to be illegal... just say you were joking, or lied... there is no way to prove that you're actually secretly potentially probably maybe a future pedophile.

| >>567209
I wouldn't say that I was asking for a friend. I think I'd come clean right away if I'm going. All or nothing. I get your point though, that they can't really prove anything and I probably won't get fucked over. Thanks for the advice. Maybe I'll try it if this continues.

| >>567211 it's not so much that you would keep up the friend thing, but that you can get information and feel things out without possibly getting yourself in trouble. If they react badly or make you feel uncomfortable, go somewhere else. It's not about fessing up to it like it's a big secret. Therapy takes work, and it requires trust. Take it slow and easy. You're more worried about the maybe in the future, but right now, that's not a problem.

| >>567225
Yeah. I know. You're amazing dude. Thank you.

| >>567229 <3 you too gurl haha

| >>567199
my id keeps changing and i keep forgetting to check this thread. a high school kid told his school counselor, and the counselor blabbed to school admi istrators, now he has that hes a pedo on his school record, and the school wont take it off. so if he ever wants to get into college that will be there. the school also assigned him two tard wranglers because they think hes going to rape somebody or something, and the kid has become a total social pariah due to rumors.

| im sorry i screamed but shit like encouraging people to tell a therapist or counselor like its no big deal makes me flip out hard.

another individual was forcibly removed from his home and forbidden from seeing his under-18 siblings, and forced to move from halfway house to halfway house and kept being moved around his state. he committed no crime, but told his therapist, and therapist told the cops, and removed him from his family.

things like this are not unusual outcomes.

| >>567211
if you really want to try therapy please read this page, it has some really good questions you can ask a therapist before you trust them with revealing your attractions:


some find helpful therapy but i cant stress enough that there are too many horror stories and not enough successful ones, so this type of caution is important to ensure yours can be successful. im weary of hearing horror stories so be safe.

| >>567185 >>567191
mandatory reporting laws require many professionals (including therapists) to report if they belive a child is in danger of sexual abuse. therapists are not technically required to report pedos to the police. but for liability reasons, lack of training, lack of caring, oand fear of losing their license to practice (a penalty for not reporting) they are likely to file a report. there is no penalty for fucking some innocent dudes life up for overreporting.

| >>567298
It's fine. If it ever gets to the point where I need therapy I'll figure something out. I don't need it right now. Maybe in a couple years, but that's a long time. Maybe earlier, and if that's the case I'll probably just gamble. I found out that the surrounding countries here do stuff where pedos can come clean and get therapy. Apparently a fair bit of people want that here as well, so it'll probably be fine.

| >>567298 school counselor, again, definite no. The question is, how many success stories do you have? It smacks of hysteria, you know? Let's get some facts about the whole thing before ruling out what may be a viable solution. I'm not saying you're wrong, or that what you said didn't happen. Things like that happen every day in various ways. I suggest your friend talk to a lawyer. It's a little expensive, but it is an expert who will know the law and if he has any options.

| >>567337
Germany has a good program, and no mandatory reporting.

>it smacks of hysteria
yes. society is very hysterical when it comes to this, and behaves irrationally. the point is, seeking therapy carries big risks.

therapy cannot stop a pedo finding kids attractive. therapy focuses on accepting your attractions and learning how to feel OK about yourself. so if you can already manage that, therapy has little to offer for the risk you need to take to get it.

| >>567403
I'm not moving to Germany for therapy...

Nobody would go to therapy if they were completely ok with themselves.

| >>567405
its true. and id love to try therapy myself. funnily enough Germany did see a lot of people move to try their program. thats such an extreme move though.

i wanted to frame the risk/reward situation. many seek therapy hoping for a cure that doesnt exist. on the other hand, with good friends, or an online community, its possible to achieve some of the benefits of therapy without taking on the risks of getting an unethical therapist who would report you or treat you poorly.

| the only acceptable times to kinkshame are:
>kink includes people who would prefer not to see your kink. walking your sub in full doggy gear around the grocery store isn't hot to the old lady in the bread aisle
>kink involves things that don't have the capacity to consent (kids, animals, the disabled)
>ddlgshit. yes i'm kinkshaming grown adults who wanna get their cheeks clapped while sucking on a pacifier

btw, fetish != kink
you need a fetish to get off, kinks are preferences

| just scrolled up, wtf is this thread?

| >>567429
i guess we went from discussing kinks to discussing mental health and how to safely get therapy

| >>567428

Learn to pronounce
a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.

| >>567437 i'm not talking that webster-merriam semantic shit, i mean 'fetish' in the colloquial sense. why get pedantic in a thread like this

| >>567444
Because you dislike me and I'm feeling really fucking insecure right now.

| its not appropriate to shame someone because they have a kink or fetish or sexuality where the subject of their affection is harmed by sexual activity. particularly when the person in question KNOWS this and doesnt plan on doing that sexual stuff. shaming people for a part of themselves they did not pick is just fucked up.

shame people for their actions. dont shame for having a kink.

| >>567450 sexuality =! kinks =! fetish
it's a tad more complicated than this but you choose kinks via consciously linking an experience/object/whatever to sexual arousal. you can't choose a fetish or sexuality, so i don't shame those. it ain't hard

>>567447 i really don't feel any type of way about you, we're on an anon board lmao. if i'm being honest i'll probably forget about you in the next hour

| >>567460
people dont consciously pick up kinks either. and if their fulfillment or expression of thier kinks takes a form that does not cause harm to self or other, can we agree that its nothing to shame people over?

Total number of posts: 85, last modified on: Sat Jan 1 00:00:00 1559745222

This thread is permanently archived