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(NEWS)Milk Cult Strikes Again!
| Several residents living near by were also found tied up with empty milk bottles forced into their mouth. When questioned, most of them were found to be almost delirious, muttering the words such as 'Please, I drank my milk', 'Please let me go', 'No more milk', among others.
However, one of the more sane captives provided insight into who the intruders might be...
| "I was just passin' by, ya know? Minding ma own business? Then I heard this massive explosion! So I was like 'fuck was that?' then I go investigate it, that's when I got jumped on" said the resident, who preferred to not disclose their name.
|
When asked about the intruders, he said; "Oh there were like twenty of them like, all dressed up weird and drek. Like one of those milk cartons, ya know? They tied us up and put a full bottle of milk in our mouth, mutterin' somethin' about 'Milk is good, drink milk' then they just up and left us there."
The description of the intruders matched up with the members of the milk cult, who have been expanding and raiding various milk farms around the city for cows and diary products.
| The GCPD have been having trouble tracking down the slippery cult members since their first heist five months back, and advises all owners of diary farm to increase the security measures around their facility.
| Wow that's fucking wacky dude!
-Billy.Foil
| Jeez, man, I love milk, but not this much.
| holy shit literally nobody cares
| Could have been me, jeez, this is bad
| Milj....
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| This morning, maintenance workers of an Automated Diary Farm belonging to MILKY(tm) Diary Company reported a break-in with several cows missing.
The intruders seemed to break into the complex with several explosive charges and stole ten cows from one of the milking facilities.
Trails of milk were arranged into the phrase 'MILK FOR MILK GOD' and 'MILK IS GOOD FOR YOU' in several places around the facility.