This thread is permanently archived
[Radio] Radio Wire 19
| "Good after-morning Glitch City, welcome to the only Radio show out there maintained *without* taxpayers' money" -N
"To be fair who still pays taxes in this sinkhole, if we relayed on taxpayer's money we would be even worse" -X
"Uhm.. Respectable members of society do??" -N
"So n--" -X
"--not me yeah, good luck finding me fedbois" -N
| "No on today's topic: Can Neil Michaels gaslight an entire city? If you've been tuning on the last transmissions we have done you would know, non-stop daily for the last few weeks" -N
"..And updates, of course. Have y'all heard of RedactedCon twenty seventy redacted? If you have, why the hell aren't ya there? If you haven't, I have no clue what you're even talkin' about" -X
| "Now it's been a long time without you my friends so I'll tell ya' all about our group. That voice that's giving you multiple headaches? That's Neil" -X
"Oh your sister had multiple somethings alright" -N
"The voice you're now listenin' to is that one of Xii, please call my line, I'm desperate-" -X
>"And--"
"--And of course how could I forget the girl standin' menacingly on the corner without ever blinkin', our 100% non-recycable member, California" -X
| "She's like- uhm.. Is like a whole Frankenstein deal going on, but in this case Frankenstein is a cute anime girl and the mad scientist is a closeted incel" -N
"So funny" -R
| "Now, music!" -X
>'Commencing Simulation' begins playing on live
"Now, phones!" -X
>"Lines opened!"
"Now, stop announcing it like that!" -N
| "Now this is the part where we rest back and count our eviction notices until someone calls, those of us who hadn't been graciously donated to long ago of course-" -N
>A screech and a crash follows this dialogue,almost as if someone's chair had been pulled to cause a fall. So specific, yes
"..-Radio's dead, we all know that, but we're here all day folks so don't hesitate on givin' us a call or on listenin' to this sweet tune made by Garoad in the meanwhile" -X
>"LINES OPEN!"
| >Call on 545
| >Call on 555.
| >>828817
>Xii picks up line '545' tuning down the music
"Hello sir or madam and welcome to the first bastion of free speech, we aren't really the first but rather the first ones to steal that title. You're now live and you're now talkin' with Xii, the sane one, let your voice be heard" -X
| >>828847
>Neil picks up line '555' almost right after
"Hello sir or--Fuck wait, the cowboy used that one- one sec I.."
>...
"Fuck it, what's up person? Felt like calling a radio show, huh? Yeah I bet you wanna talk with some radio host, let me hear your name and your purpose" -N
| >>828852
>A seemingly automated voice replies after you finish your sentence.
"Hello, we've been trying to reach you about your car extended warranty."
| >>828864
"Well now that's just hurtful" -X
>The classic click of an ended call follows
"Just for once I wanna truly be the first one to get a call" -X
>"Maybe if you whine some more you'll get it someday!"
"Shut up Cali" -X
| >>828853
>There's a raspy voice on the other end of the line, when suddenly their voice booms deeply:
"THE FALSITY OF THE SILICATE SHALL FALL TO THE FANATACISM OF THE FLESH!"
| >>828908
"Jesus Christ you know what else is made of flesh? My ears, sir, was that on F2 or what? Wanna tell us more about the falsity of the silicate while I pretend I didn't almost shit myself?" -N
| >Call on 545
| >>828932
>Then, just as quickly, the voice changes to a demure, almost polite male type.
"Hello Neil, I'm Brother John. Have you heard of the Church of Solar?"
| >>829061
>Xii picks up line '545'
"Hello there traveler, hope you're a person this time cause I ain't got no more welcomin' lines at the moment. You're talkin' with Xii at Radio Wire on live, who do I owe the pleasure to talk with today?" -X
| >>829087
"I certainly haven't but something tells me I'm about to, what can you tell us about this church? Do you praise a God or a man? This ought to be good" -N
| >>829358
>The speaker doesn't sound automated, but his voice seems to be slightly altered. Like he was using a voice changer mod.
"Yo, can you tell that other solar guy that he can suck my SILICATE cock?"
| >>829377
"Now now we don't stand for violence, except that we absolutely do" -X
>And so, the mic is now open
"Hey Neil, can your guy hear this one?" -X
>>829087
| >>829425
"You're the man!"
>The dude says and clears his throat as the mic opens.
"Oi! Flesh-worshipping prick! I want you and your stupid flesh church to FUCK RIGHT OFF with your flesh worshipping drek in my feed because the spam is INSUFFERABLE. You fanatics can suck on my hard cyborg peen. Thank you."
>He catches his breath.
"That is all, I just wanted to vent. Have a good day to y'all, yeah you too, flesh dude."
>Call ends.
| >>829359
"We are one in kinship with God and Man, for God is Man and Man can be Gods." >The voice says, their voice throbbing with such reverence that it may also seem comical.
>There's a pause as your caller listens to the other's flesh-centric sphiel.
"Forgive them ultrassiah, for they do not know what they do. When the One whomst was Silicate Made Flesh reveals themself... there shall be a reckoning."
| >>829453
"Good day to you too my man"
>A sigh of relief soft-blended with a sigh of angst made their way into earshot once the call ended
"stay fresh and probably go take some air before this guy makes a voodoo doll out of you or somethin', whatever that was I stand with him just cause he said I'm the man" -X
| >>829483
"Well if this 'reckoning'-" -N
>Neil said mimicking the caller's voice for that word only
"-consists on uhm.. exterminating anyone who doesn't believe in flesh I'll tell you right now I've believed in flesh for my entire life, ever since I knew the wellness of my flesh, it amazed me, I craved the soft and mushiness of flesh and only sought metal in automated companions for more than fair prices. Do you think I'd be spared on this reckoning?" -N
| "It's pretty amazin' how you can sit straight without a spine" -X
| >Call on 535
| >>830050
>California picks up line '535'
>"Hello and welcome to Radio Wire! If you're calling to ask if our refrigerator is running, please know that enough is enough, and that we will find you!"
>Said in the sweetest of tones
| >>830062
>"Oh my, I think I just might be able to listen to you threatening me all day."
>Answered a feminine voice with a short giggle, who seems to be slightly further away from the microphone.
"Hello! Cali, right? This is Red and Alix. We just wanted to check in on you all."
>A male voice, closer to the mic, continues.
>"Neil was busy so I thought we should give the cuter and less perverted host a call."
>The girl, Alix continues, followed by a dog's bark in the background.
| >>830066
>"Oh hello you guys! It's been a while since I heard you three, and please- Cute doesn't even come close~"
"Remember when Cali had no real personality?" -X
>"But thanks for checking in! Things are running as smooth as they can, enough for us to finally come back on air"
| >>830169
>Another excited bark answers before the couple continues.
>"Even Fenrir's excited to hear your voice!"
"If you can't tell, Ally is cuddling the shit out of Fenrir right now."
>"Yep, he's so fluffy."
"Anyway, good to hear you guys are doing well."
>"Oh, and have Neil got the book I sent him yet?"
| >>830214
>"There was this book he was using to fix his unleveled chair, I took it last week and gave it a good read! Maybe it was that one? A fantasy one?"
| "No wonder I've been tripping all week.. Oi, Mr.Meaty-" -N
>>829630
"You still there? You owe me a smiting and I better get it, tell our listeners about this reckoning cause this will be info they aren't getting from any other source" -N
| >>830467
>"Yes, yes it was. Why am I not surprised."
>Alix says with a hint of annoyance. Fenrir can be heard whimpering.
"Honey, please stop squeezing Fenrir so tightly."
>An audible gasp comes from Alix.
>"Oh my god! I'm sorry Fenrir!"
>A bit of shuffling comes through as the whimpering comes closer to the mic.
"That's it, come here Fenrir. Good boy."
>Alix sighs in the background before returning to the topic.
>"Oh well, at least somebody read it. How'd you like it?"
| >>830469
>"I think it was lovely! I had high expectations since it was the first book I've ever held in physical form and they were well filled! Did you publish it yet? Or is this one still a special copy that's not yet in the market?"
| >>831073
>"Oh, I've published it already. You can find them at most bookstores, or you can also order it at my website; TerraPublishing.com"
"There she goes."
>"I've also been working on the next book in the series, although that has slowed down a little bit because I've been working on my podcast."
| >Call on 555
|
| >>831153
>"Like Neil said before, 8 months and 9 days ago:
"You got some free advertising right here right now" -"N"
>Her voice there perfectly mimicked Neil's
"What the fuck" -N
>"And you have a podcast too? You are living like a true author!"
| >>831159
>'As of now, line '555-XXXXXX' is currently occupied, would you like to try line '545-XXXXXXX' instead?'
| >>832007
>"Yes I do! I finally managed to get Red to make a cameo as well! Well, not yet, I haven't finished editing the special."
"Worst decision of my life."
>"Come on! I thought you were great! It's the Valentine's special! I needed my sweetheart to be there."
| >>832064
>"That's just so sweet! Neil wanted to do a valentine special kind of transmission, but we collectively convinced him not to!"
"Bite me" -N
"Can't be too bad to make something with your loved one Red"
| >"Can't be too bad to make something with your loved one Red" *
| >>832136
"Well, I guess it's not that bad. I thought it felt kinda weird."
>"Don't sweat it, you were perfectly fine."
"Anyway, what's Neil's idea of Valentine special that you all convinced him not to do it?"
>"Do we really want to know, though? I think we know what kind of person Neil is at this point."
| >>832157
>"No"
>A pause, long enough to be awkward and short enough not to be overtaken
>"You don't want to know"
"Bunch of weaklings, baby oil is an *essential* Saint valentine's tool" -N
| >>832271
"Yep, nope, that's enough indication of how bad of an idea it was. Let's move on to something else, eh?"
>"Yeah, speaking on Valentine's, dp you guys have any plans for that? Any boys or girls looking to take you out, Cali?"
| (*speaking of Valentine's, do...)
| >>832358
>"I was gonna go out with.. Someone--But father though we should go live instead, that's fine though! It's just a date in the calendar and I bet it's cheaper to go out after Valentine's day anyway"
| >>832388
"You'd be surprised at some of the discounts you get on Valentine's."
>"Who's this date you're talking about anyway? Please do tell."
| >>832405
>Xii picks up line '545' almost right awway
"Hello and welcome to second choice, ya' ever wanted to get coke but they only had pepsi? That's right you're stuck in here with me buddy.. For real though, what's up? Who are we havin' the pleasure to pleasure with our voices today?" -X
| >>832419
>"Oh it's really no one, trust me, for father to allow me to go out with someone he has to be sure it's no one. But going out alone during Valentine's week feels too out of place, you know?"
| >>832441
>"Come on! Give us a name, at least! Maybe tell them you like them live, It'll be the sweetest thing!"
"Actually, that would be kinda cute, yeah. Do it!"
"Woof!"
>Even Fenrir seems excited. He probably doesn't know what his owners are excited about, but he agrees.
| >>832468
>"Please.. Enough"
>She added firmly yet politely
>"I don't *like* them and I value their privacy, I'd rather hear about your guys' podcast instead! What valentine's topics do you touch?"
| >>832635
"Fine, better leave the love matter to the lovebirds."
>"Stop teasing her!"
"Alright, alright. I'll let Ally talk about the podcast since she's done way more than me."
>"Okay, so, my podcast is called 'Terra-Rium'."
"That name was my idea, and I am damn proud of it."
>"I usually dive into random myths that inspired me in my writing or I find interesting. Plus a couple special episodes talking about how I integrate some of them into my writing."
| "You can find the podcast on most podcast platforms. You can also find all the episodes on her website, TerraPublishing by the way, for those just checking in."
>"This is why I love you so much. Anyway, the Valentine's special is about Freyja, Norse goddess of love and war. I'll dive into some of her origin, plus a few tales involving her."
| >>832437
>A childish lisp comes onto the phone line.
>You recognize it instantly, it's the candy girl again
"Hey!! How's it going!"
>She's chipper, chuckling and laughing over the line
"You guys got a sale goin on right?? I need your biggest candy bars!!"
>How does she keep doing it.
| >>832647
>"Oooh I wish I could say I love Norse mythology but lately it feels like it's been over-used, you know? I don't know how else to put it.. It still sounds pretty amazing! Even those who spend valentine's alone--"
"--Or workin'" -X
>"..-Get to listen to a related topic that doesn't rub too much salt in the wound!"
| >>832772
"Oh hi little one-" -X
>Said Xii with a neutral tone, hiding a thousand screams of agony over constant misplaced calls
"Did you know that once again you called the wrong number? Not only we don't sell candy but if for some God forsaken reason we started to I wouldn't tell ya'!" -X
| >>833098
>There's a gasp on the end of the line
"You wouldn't tell me??? What's wrong with telling me!"
>The child clicks her tongue
"See I knew it, all this "We're not a candy store!" t-thing was a way to distract me because I b-buy too much in bulk isn't it!"
>She says, lisping and flubbing her words, she sounds in awe at her own intellect, having unearthed the conspiracy of a century.
"I-I won't forget this you hear!"
| >>833096
"Oh, yeah it is, isn't it. Not as much as the Greek's, but still used a lot. I definitely know Alix take a lot of stuff from it too."
>"Guilty. Anyway, I hope people would enjoy it as much I do producing it. I especially love seeing Red doing some of the voiceovers."
"I don't think I will be able to do it regularly. I don't know how she do it. I think I'm done with it."
>"Until the next Valentine roll around~"
|
|
| (Apologies for the wait, studies got in the way-)
| >>833168
"We. Are. Not. A. Candy. Store!" -X
>The frustration was real
"For the love of God just request a song! Ask for an AD! Literally anythin'! Know-know what? Give me one second.." -X
>Rummaging could be heard now, perhaps Xii is looking for his patience
| >>833193
>"Voice-overs are fun! I'd love to learn how to do voices but I don't learn, I just know-"
"Like this, see?" -?
>"Must be fun to know tricks and techniques for shaping your voice!"
| >>830468
"Now I believe in honest mistakes, such as you not paying the phone company or forgetting about me before going to pray, which is fine! Really, I'm not hurt or anything--"
>A sob, an exaggerated one at that
"For real now, *please* call us back when you're back, no pressure but it hurts to hold the 'speak' button for so long"
"You.. You know you can let go of it if you're not talking, right?" -R
"..SoAnyway, See ya" -N
>Click
| >>834440
>"I'll be honest, I don't really change my voice too much. I suck at voiceacting. Red says he prefer my normal storytelling voice too."
"Yeah, your normal reading voice is so nice and calming. I don't know how to describe it. You'll have to listen to it yourself."
>"Red's great at doing that overdramatic voice though. It's hillarious. You gotta check it out when I'm done with it."
| >>834438
>There's a pause from the other end of the line, then some mumbling.
"...Why is it saved as candy store then... that's weird... Did someone touch my phone?"
>A loud sigh comes from the other side of the line
"Well, if you're not a candy store what are you???"
>The small child asks, suspiciously.
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| >>834766
"For the 7th time, a Radio station-" -X
>The rumbling continued for a few seconds as it seemed like he spoke from afar, that until-
"-Here! Alright little one when a package arrives which one of your parents answers the door?" -X
>"But she's said she was--"
"--Cali for the love of God we're done with that topic" -X
| >>834689
>"I can relate to that! To an extent at least. The guys would rather I drop my original voice for something more 'humane' you see? He prefers your voice like I prefer mine~"
>a buzzing noise came once, just once, on the background. But just like Chekhov's gun it has no apparent meaning anyone should pay attention to
>"I'll be glad to hear his talent once the podcast is out!"
| >>837879
>"Oh, he's a talent alright, just you wait."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, I guess."
>"Also, can somebody tell Neil that Frankenstein is the scientist's name? That's why it's called 'Frankenstein's monster'."
| >>837893
>"Oh he knows"
>the lack of exclamation barely showed a small glimpse of full-on dread
>"He's fully aware"
"Nothing pisses nerds off as easy" -N
| >>837878
"My parents? I haven't lived with my parents in more than ten years you know!"
>There's a chuckle at the end of the line
"I'm a responsible adult you know! I live on my own!"
>She sounds awfully smug about this
| >>838030
"Oh I'm sure you do but.. Yeah there's no but I just straight up don't believe ya', tell me, since you're an adult and all that why don't ya' go buy the candy on your own at some random store?" -X
"We aren't supposed to go outside though" -N
"What-why now?" -X
"Cause city's a shithole? Why do you think I always order delivery? Kid's got a point" -N
| >>838022
>"Why am I not surprised, again."
"Neil really has the art of pissing off Alix nailed down."
>"To be fair, he's a radio host, he's always annoying. No offense to the rest of the crew, I'm sure most of you are lovely people, not Neil though."
|
| >>838129
>"Oh none taken, he was kept for a reason after all"
"what's that supposed to mean" -N
>"Like pushing a rock uphill, it's easier to just let the rock go on its own"
| >>838933
>A giggle comes from Alix.
"Seriously though, Alix doesn't get mad often. Neil just knows how to push her the right way. That, or she's just too polite to be mad at people she doesn't know."
>"Both. I just feel like I've talked to him often enough to he impolite enough to be mad at. But also because he's an asshole."
| >>839335
"Oh what can I s--" -N
>"--Sorry, do you want to take the line?"
"Uh.. Wha--" -N
>"--Cause is not really polite how you keep leaning on, why don't you use your own mic instead? Or do your job and read the news or something?"
"The fuck's going on-?" -N
| >>840000
>"Cali, I would give you a hug right now if we were in the same room."
"You might not want to with Neil there, Cali, she almost suffocated Fenrir when Neil pissed her off. Isn't that right, buddy?"
>An enthusiastic bark came from the best boy Fenrir.
"Such a good boy."
>"Come on, Fenrir, don't be like that. I said I'm sorry. Besides, it's Neil's fault!"
| >>840035
"damn alright you wanna blame me for world hunger too while you're at it? Is not my fault that you abuse your dog" -N
>"Neil she does no--!"
"--I'm. Kidding. You people need some meat on those chicken wings" -N
| >>840228
>"I'm not weak!"
"You kinda are..."
>"You definitely are stronger than Neil though."
"Yeah, that's true."
>"I'm probably stronger than Neil too!"
"Okay, I'll put that one in 'plausible'."
>"You're sleeping on the couch."
"Worth it for that face. You're really cute when you're mad, you know that?"
>"S-Shut up!"
| >>840330
>"You guys are just so adorable with each other~"
"I'm gonna go puke"
>"Neil's sorta.. Underweight? You probably are stronger than him, not that it's even worth figuring outthough"
| >>840732
>"See? I told you!"
"I did say plausible. Besides, we can just make Neil puke himself to death anyway, so not like physical strength matters here."
>"True."
"If anything, Neil needs to build up immunity to wholesome shit, get himself a girlfriend or something."
>"Or even a dog! Then Fenrir can have friends next time we come over!"
>Fenrir sounds excited about that too eith his enthusiastic bark.
| >>840815
"I'd rather--Cali you can stare at me all you want I'm not moving from here. I can get myself any of those things-" -N
>"Things"
"-I just don't wanna. No offense but all that sugary sweet hugs and kisses while cuddling in front of the fire on a Sunday afternoon? Yeah that's a no from me chief, I'd rather.. Well, let's not go there actually" -N
| >>840823
>Fenrir barks disappointedly.
"He said you're just scared that you will actually like it. Nope, just kidding, I made that up."
>"Why though, do you not like doing warm and intimate stuff?"
"Very poor choice of words."
>"You're such a pervert."
"To be fair, you're also pretty-"
>"Red I will publish the-"
"I'm sorry. I am sorry and I apologize please don't do it."
>"I love how that threat always work, always."
|
This thread is permanently archived
| >"RADIO WIRE, RE-RE-REESTABLISHING CONNECTION"
\
>"STATUS: CONNECTED"
\
>"NUMBERS"
>"555-XXXXXX MAIN LINE RAN BY NEIL"
>"545-XXXXXXX SECONDARY LINE RAN BY XII"
>"535-XXXXXX COMPLEMENTARY LINE RAN BY CALIFORNIA"
>"515-XXXXXX 'PRVT' BUSINESS LINE"
\
>"MUSIC, NEWS, EVENTS. 24/7"