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[AD] バーゲン ワンダーランド!! at GC SUPER
| >The page features photo after low-res photo of the konbini's seasonal offerings: displays showcasing cheap boxes of chocolates, coolers full of Christmas cake (50% off on December 26th!), and hot food racks piled high with the store's never-before-seen special holiday treat: the Santa-man, an ordinary steamed bun dressed up just enough to barely resemble it's fat and jolly namesake. A crude illustration of what the snack is /intended/ to look like is taped to the nikuman warmer.
| >A few lines of text advise customers that reservation spaces for buckets of Christmas Day fried chicken are running low. Servings come in multiple sizes (single person, all the way up to two family!) and can be picked up at the store, or delivered to the customer's home for an extra fee.
| >All of the above is set against an eye-searing green backdrop, edges bordered by blinking, pixelated Christmas lights. The top and bottom are decked with boughs of holly and whatever the hell else the employee in charge of ad design thought would blend well with all the other shit cluttering the page. An army of snowmen lurk in the bottom right corner. Your cursor trails snowflakes as you drag it across the screen.
| aw shit! i guess it is that time of year huh? 50% off of the cakes on the 26th... stay safe my lovelies, mama'll be there to pick you up soon!
-n0va!☆
| >Indeed, the Christmas cakes /are/ lovely-- each slice, roll or round appears immaculate. It's as if each variety possessed a single mold from which all of the desserts were made. Light snows of confectioner's sugar dust smooth, silky blankets of whipped cream, studded with succulent red strawberries; scattered chocolate shavings dapple the rich buttercream bark of a roll cake "yule log"... even when viewed through the grain of the photos, it's enough to make your mouth water!
| >A midi metronome tick-tocks for a count of 4 before a rather pathetic rendition of Wham!'s "Last Christmas" begins to play. You can't find the pause button anywhere.
| https://i.postimg.cc/JzY5S1nw/Last-Christmas.jpg
| I...Should order a bucket of fried chicken...Shoot, I knew I forgot something...
-Evening
| Cake?
-Ares
Cake.
-Sabre
| >>813092
I hate that song!
Christmas is a happy time and yet this stupid song just sounds depressing! Why do they keep using it!
I'll have two buckets of chicken though!
-IBARAKI
| Christmas again... geh, every year I can't help but feel upset at all these normies celebrating the stuff...
>NEET-God
| >>813150
>Unfortunately, the midi melody lacks George Michael's melancholic pipes-- but the dinky little chord progressions are just enough to get you to imagine the vocal line...
>>813137 >>813150
>Clicking on this text box takes you to an offshoot of the ad where you can place a future order for your fried chicken. There are photos showing the spread of each meal set. Some are grayed out, signifying that the set in question is no longer available for reservation.
| At last! A worthy opponnet!
Beware, SUPERGC! All your chiikkens r belong 2 ME! -M3lz
| >>813358
HAHA! Your attempts at turning me into a drone are not gonna work! You go enjoy your Soy-Chicken:tm:, I'll be making bank on the affiliates on my blog and pay for real meat this year!
>NEET-God
| https://i.postimg.cc/bJ85KrsY/gc-chiki.jpg
| >>>813391
>The final notes of "Last Christmas" come slowly, painfully; dragged out as if the song itself is clinging to your ear, begging you not to let it finish. It is promptly replaced by an even /worse/ rendition of Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime".
| >>813953
Why are they doing this!!
I just wanted chicken, and now I have these songs stuck in my head!!!
Grrrr.... Maybe these guys need a stern talking to! These songs should be classified as weapons of mental uh... Harm?
Anyways, I hate it!!
-IBARAKI
| >>813018
>There's an easily missed blurb nestled next to the Santa-man spot-- you'd whiz right by it if you scrolled too quickly. It looks like the chain's got Christmas themed oden, too? Let's have a look...
>...
>... The chain is taking some /major/ artistic liberties with this one. Perhaps hoping it will encourage customers to sample a dish unfamiliar to them, they've renamed half of it's components. The result is a... hybrid of a savory stew and a bowl of Lucky Charms.
| >>814011
>The mochiri kinchaku-- purses made of fried tofu, stuffed with mochi and tied shut with ropes of fried gourd-- are now "Santa's Bag(s)". That's... /acceptable/, but as you peruse the list everything becomes more of a stretch: bundles of white shirataki noodles become... "Santa's Beard" (ew), skewered tsukune are rebranded as snowmen; and the tofu/veggie cakes are "Reindeer Treats".
>You guys could have at /least/ tried a little harder...
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| >Opening the thread loads a Christmas themed advertisement posted by a small, local convenience store chain-- touting all sorts of festive little novelties boasting boosts of holiday merriment to warm the heart of even the grouchiest Grinch. It's a kitschy invitation for customers across the city to... "don their gay apparel" and "fa-la-la, fa-la-la, fa-la-low" the sound of Saint Nick's sleighbells over to their closest GC SUPER location.