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"BASTION" Investments expected to lose 30 billion zenny due to lolicoin craze.

| [Except from the Finance section of the NNN News Company]

"...is fairshare concept is BULL-SHIT!" >Major hedgefund and crypto-coin speculator Melvin Hood said during an interview earlier this week, when asked for comment on one of the worst financial disasters since the 24 Hours War,

"I'm just TRYIN' ta make a LIVING! And then all these NETRUNNERS and DATA-JOCKS come in and throw their lifesavings, selling their weebshit products, all to drive up the price of [LOLI]coin!

| >It's a dour February for trillionaires city-wide as suspected anti-aug and anti-lilim sympathizers gathered in shadowy Matrix textboards such as SHADOWLAND BBS, JACKPOINT, and danger/u/ and violently drove up the price of cryptocurrencies in a bid many say was to "stick it to the corpo scumbags."

>Trillionaires up and down the market are calling on QUINCY for relief and regulation as the price of lolicoin, doggocoin, burgcoin among others tripled and then sextupled within seconds

| "WE LOCK THE COINS!" >Several users cried out, known only by their Matrix handles such as "Lolilover69," "CN's_Third_Leg," and "George." These economic insurrectionists haven't stopped there- several marketing agencies have received (and processed) requests for crudely made advertisements, encouraging other netizens to join in what they call a "festival" of "lulz."

"VELVET [expletive] HANDS! HOLD THE LINE!" >Are among just some of the battle cries uttered by the would be investors

| >Is this an obviously illegal form of market manipulation which should be swiftly destroyed in order to protect the hegemony and financial dominance of the powers that be all in the name of "protecting" amateur coin-collectors from possibly life-destroying debt? Not necessarily, said Pratham Chadman, a CEO of a 503 non for profit corporation, who just donated all of his earnings from LOLIcoin to a charity supporting orphaned, out of work young actresses, and the KiraMiki foundation

| "Shit happens," >Chadman said, covering an enormous, well satisfied smug with a sip of iced tea,

"And as these rich fuckbois just found out, not even money can protect them from consequences. Velvet Hands, my brothers and sisters."

>Additional reporting contributed by Ace Getterman

-Sol Invictioin

| I'm laughing my ass off, BASTION is really losing their shit over lolicoin, fucking >lolicoin.

God, this is one bloody glorious shite-show we have going on here.

| You're british?
- Makura

| >>735660
British? No, I'm American.

He might as well be British.

Total number of posts: 9, last modified on: Sat Jan 1 00:00:00 1612226839

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