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[RERUN]Episode XXXIXIX: The Prize

| >...when we last left our heroine, she and her pet gorzaxian triple tailed war-dog, GORBLZTZ, had just crash landed on the fabled JEWEL MOON of ZARGAT, where a mystical crystal ORB known as the CLIMAXER was known to be held...

>For anyone else, the CLIMAXER was an unfortunately named heirloom of the royal family of ZARGAT, who jealously guarded it from so much as a viewing for centuries. But for our heroine, it may just be the only thing in the universe that can save her ONE TRUE LOVE, Maximilian...

>the one true love... of ANDROMEDA!

| "GrarrghG Grargh graggh grarh!" GORBLZTZ growled angerly. There were soldiers in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to ANDROMEDA were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.

ANDROMEDA was a space warrior princess scientist god queen for 2391 zazaxian years (18 standard years, true believers!) now. When she was young, she watched the snowribbons fall as the planet FET passed over her homeworld and deposited the seductively vile organic semi-sentient matter within her home's atmosphere. She once asked her father if she could visit FET.

"NO!" Her father had yelled at her, "YOU WILL be KILL by DEMONS!"

Once, ANDROMEDA had believed him. But as she got older she stopped. Now, her family and most importantly [c,lime]the love of her life, MAXIMILIAN[/c] were transformed into slug like appendages shaped like the snow of mid-winter, and she knew that the only way to break him from the cursed spell of planet FET lay within this very temple, on the planet- er, moon, ZARGAT. But her triple tailed were dog had growled. Which could only mean one thing.

"Space Nazis," >ANDROMEDA breathed.
"There are Space Nazis on the moon."

"RIGHT YOU ARE, BOTTOM TEXT!" >The Nazis said, entering the scene, one still pulling on an ill fitting boot to complete a raggedy, decades old looking uniform that looks like it was rescued from a thriftstore sale after a two-bit museum had been gutted. As they goosestep in animatronic precision, the man trips and falls over even as he's goose-stepped on by his compatriots, while ANDROMEDA looks on in horror, perhaps a little more realistically than she had intended to portray.

>...cut that part in post produc-ANYWAY, the space nazis surround ANDROMEDA

"HOW ARE YOU WOMAN." >They say with animatronic precision.

>The scene turns to where ANDROMEDA should be, and she appears to be performing CPR on the nazi who had been trampled earlier-

>Offscreen, someone could be heard yelling "CUT! CUT!" while another overrides them with "FUCK IT, WE'LL DO IT LIVE!"

>The scene awkwardly jumpcuts to ANDROMEDA bound and gagged-

>It jump cuts again, now she's just bound, on a table as mining laser, which looks a little too realistic for special effects, slowly makes its way toward her special place, which she reserves only for the love of her life, MAXIMILIAN!

"No! I must retrieve the... uh... the crystal!" >She exclaims!

>Narrative voice over: "Is this the end of ANDROMEDA!? Will she ever acquire CLIMAX!? And where is that stupid dog that made us look bad? Tune in next time on the romantic space adventures of...

A N D R O M E D A!

| Damn you, space nazis!
—earth nazi

| Finally some good fucking food. -CN

Total number of posts: 4, last modified on: Thu Jan 1 00:00:00 1594379750

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