This thread is permanently archived
Radio Wire 11.5
| "Oh Fuck me was it today? Why would you activate us?" -N
"It was yesterday Neil, we're one day late" -X
| "No way we're never late" -N
"We're ALWAYS late" -X
"Now that's quite a negative attitude" -N
"It's not even an attitude it's a fact" -X
"You're never late if you don't set a date" -N
"We set a date, it was fuckin' yesterday" -X
| "R he's doin' that shit again" -X
"Can you address the audience for once" -R, audibly stressed
| "Whatever, 'ello everyone and--" -X
"--And welcome to radio Wire back in Glitch City! We're like a wizard at this point, we're never late, we disappear and appear just like that and we're magic and shit" -N
| "Now is quite cold outside and I'm not quite fond of people wearing so much clothing, did you know cold is just a feeling made by the goverment to sell us winter clothes? Don't let them trick you, show some skin sheeple!" -N
"Ya' have the most punchable voice I've ever heard" -X
| "So anyone not on drugs feel free to call us at 545-XXXXXX or 555-XXXXXXX for a good time, and by good time ah' mean of course a pleasant conversation" -X
"What's your deal against people on drugs you bigot" -N
"Neil shut the fuck up" -X
| >call on line 545
| "Haha man I'm never the first" -X
>Xii picks up line '545'
"Hello and welcome to Radio Wire, we're flawed and cold just like this city right now! Who am I talkin' with on this beautiful day?" -X
| >>513466
>a long hum is heard
"Helllo pizza hut...?Ummmmmm can i get ummmm a..............pork chow fan and...coke..noodles.
Please"
>this dude sounds high af
| >>513478
"Now what did I JUST say? yo pizza hut, does your mother know what you smoke on your free time?" -X
"Mr.Prude" -N
| >call on linea 555
| >>513502
>the person on the other end starts crying
"...i just wanted to have a unicorn dolphin hotdog..*weeps*"
| >>513571
>Neil picks up line '555'
"Hello and welcome to safe space inc, we accept all kinds of people except for those we don't like.." -N
"PSYCH welcome to Radio Wire!! We're even more hypocritical! Who is calling now to our lonely place?" -N
| >>513625
"Ya' should be ashamed of yerself!" -X
"..."
"Now don't cry man really what the fuck this makes me look bad, talk it out man" -X
| >There's a call coming in for line 545!
>Judging by the area code, it's Maiden Heaven again.
| "There ya' go people.. drugs are bad, they also make you gay accordin' to my mother, so don't do them okay? Or don't call here when ya' do them" -X
| >>513727
"That aside-" -X
>Xii picks up line '545'
"Hello and welcome back registered number! This is problably the first time someone uses the same id to call here twice, just when ah' though everyone on this city was as paranoid as us" -X
| >>513813
"Hello again!" >This time it really is Maiden Heaven on the phone, as opposed to D4C like last time. There's something... off about her voice. It sounds way too choral.
"For the record, we're in X-SEED 4000- and even if we weren't, I'm gonna tell you; not every meme and injoke the Japanese fanbase has about us is just a lark." >She laughs.
"But enough about that. How the hell have you been since we last talked?"
| >>513897
"Well if ya' ask me of right now I'm confused as hell of what did you just say, but overall ah've been fine with what I have, an unsteady job with friends that I hate most of the time" -X
| >>514016
"That... Doesn't sound very fun." >Maiden Heaven muses.
"But then again, I'm a damn CEO, so..."
| >>514638
"So ah've heard, what do ya' even do for fun? do you, like, buy people and make 'em fight each other?
| >>514734
"Personally speaking, I don't. I know Marilyn Manson, Speed King and Soft & Wet have something like that going on, though. It's why I've assigned them as far the fuck away from everyone else as possible."
| >>514418
>The man on the phone starts mumbling slowly
"Uhm... Sorry... I just went uhm... Kind of catatonic y'know? So I just wanted to say that uhm... My dishwasher kinda broke y'know? Like, water aaaaaaall over my apartment y'know? Aaaaaaaaand uhm... That's not cool dude... It's like December it's cold in here..."
| >I̕ncoming̛ ca̵ll on li̢ne 51̸5-XXXXXX
| >>515075
"Nice, I knew that between CEOs there was at least a psycopath or two, I'm just glad I'm not talkin' with one of those.. What do ya' do for fun then?" -X
| >>515269
"A-Are you literally freezing to death there man? I wouldn't spend another minute there unless you plan on becoming an ice statue, and lemme tell you that's a lot less fun than what it sounds like" -N
| >>515533
>'R' picks up line '515'
"...Hello and welcome to Radio Wire business line, you're speaking with R and I am wondering what can we do for you"
| >incoming call from line 555.
| >>515723
"Hᴇʟʟᴏ. I ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ꜰᴏʀ Nᴇʟʟ." — >Says monotone, machine-generated voice on the other end of the line.
| >>515733
>"line '555' is currently busy, you can leave a message or be transfered to line '535'. I am Cali answerer of calls"
| >>515751
"..And what would this message be? Coming with such an agitated tone I can't say I'm not curious" -R
| >>515788
"Iᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ᴘʀᴇꜰᴇʀʀᴀʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇʟɪᴠᴇʀ sᴀɪᴅ ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛʟʏ ᴛᴏ Nᴇʟʟ, ɪꜰ ᴘᴏssɪʙʟᴇ. Iᴛ ᴀᴘᴘᴇᴀʀs ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴜʙᴊᴇᴄᴛ ᴍᴀᴛᴛᴇʀ ɪs ᴏɴᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ɴᴏʀᴍᴀʟʟʏ ʙᴇ ᴀᴄᴄᴇᴘᴛᴇᴅ ᴀs ᴘʀɪᴠᴀᴛᴇ." — >The machine voice continues in the same fashion.
| "Transfer me to 535 please?"
| >>515722
Nah dude... I'm not uhm... Freezing... It's like y'know... I dunno man... Huuuuuhm... Cold but not really cold y'know? Like... Y'know, chilly mkay? Man I think I gotta call a plumber or something right? 'Cause uhhhhhh... Dude I think the water is like... Rising? Is that uhhhh... A bad thing?
| >>515804
"Look man you--"
"--I'M BUSY WITH A DROWNING STONER FUCK OFF!"
"..Man you gotta get the hell out of there before the water gets above your nose, I would suggest opening a window but if I had to choose between freezing and drowning, well.."
| -N*
| >>515800
>"You have been succesfully transfered to--Ah I'm just pulling your leg, you have been always on line '535', you've been speaking with California and welcome to Radio Wire!"
| >>b7f748
"Oh! Hey California! Thanks for the welcome! I'm just here to relay a message to the drowning guy?"
| >>71b59c
>"Oh the one on Neil's line? I was going to bet if he will drown or not, what do you want to say to him?"
| >>b7f748
"He ought to unplug his toaster, microwave and anything that you don't put inside a bathtub while it's plugged to the electrical outlets before leaving."
| >>515811
>You can clearly feel through the man's mumbling that what you said hurt his his feelings
"Huh... Dude... I ain't a stoner y'know? I huh... Am just slow in the head... Uhm... That wasn't huh... Very nice of you, man... By the way I just realized I am a
legit plumber, y'know... So yeah... I think I can fix huh... This mess, mkay?"
>The man, nearly crying, ends the call just after saying so
| >>71b59c
>"I'll pass the message as soon as possible! isn't it wonderful how he hasn't died of electric shock yet?"
>"NEIL TELL THE STONER TO UNPLUG EVERYTHING OR HE DIES!"
| >>515962
"Come on man I didn't mean--" -N
"--HE'S NOT A STONER AND WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU PEOPLE START TO YELL--" -N
"--Aw fuck he's gone" -N
| >>02e921
"Fantastic time to be alive now isn't it? Anyway I must resume my vending duties."
>the line disconnects...
| "...Neil I need you on private line for christ's sake" -R
"You suck and Cali is gonna suck if she keeps learning after you" -N
"Neil please" -R
| >>516026
>"I-Oh, alright! feel free to call again, people in the verge of dying always seem to be calling here!"
| >>515806
>Neil picks PRIVATE line '515' after taking his sweet time
"..Who is asking for me in this beautiful time? I pardon for any iconvenience caused by my not boss" -N
| (beg pardon*) -RW
| >>516030
"Hᴇʟʟᴏ, Nᴇʟʟ." — >Machine voice was just as monotonous, as before. — "I ᴀᴍ Mᴇʀʟɪɴ. I ᴡᴀs ᴀsᴋᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇʟᴀʏ ᴀ ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ. Jᴀᴍᴇs Cᴏʟᴏʜᴀɴ ᴡᴀs ᴘᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ꜰɪɴᴀʟ ʀᴇsᴛ ᴛᴡᴏ ᴅᴀʏs ᴀɢᴏ, ᴏɴ Sᴛ. Mɪᴄʜᴀᴇʟ Cᴇᴍᴇᴛᴇʀʏ, Cᴀᴛʜᴇᴅʀᴀʟ-1. Uɴꜰᴏʀᴛᴜɴᴀᴛᴇʟʏ, ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs ɴᴏᴛ ᴘᴏssɪʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ɪɴᴠɪᴛᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴜɴᴇʀᴀʟ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇʜᴀɴᴅ, ᴅᴜᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ sᴇɴsɪᴛɪᴠᴇ ɴᴀᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴏᴜʀ ɪᴅᴇɴᴛɪᴛɪᴇs."
| >>516039
>Neil took a few seconds of silence before talking, processing the information
"...I understand and appreciate the concern about our privacy, and that you give me this information.. Merlin, was it?" -N
| >>516073
"Tᴏ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴀ sᴇᴀsᴏɴ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴘᴜʀᴘᴏsᴇ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴇᴀᴠᴇɴ. Tʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴀs ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ɪɴꜰᴏʀᴍᴀᴛɪᴏɴ I ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴀsᴋᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇʟɪᴠᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ. Gᴏᴏᴅʙʏᴇ."
>Connection aborted.
| >>515720
"Well, it depends. Sometimes I hop on local textboards anonymously and stoke the rumors flying around about me to see how far they'll go. Sometimes- If Stone Free and Kiss are around -we have little jam sessions in the office. I take vocals, Kiss and Stone Free do guitar, C-Moon does drums and we put Whitesnake on the bass."
| >>516167
"That actually sounds pretty normal and nice, at least the second part where you're not talkin' about spreadin' rumours about yerself, are you guys good at that or you just suck together like a good group of friends?" -X
| "Well it's been fun and all but you all kinda suck, see you on christmas" -N
"And where do you think you're going" -R
"Eeeeh something something your mother, that tone never worked with me and I'm just.. I'm just gonna visit a friend for the holidays" -N
| "Also, put some music guys for real did you forget what radio is about? Look you just select her and.." -N
| >'Baby it's cold outside' Begins playing on live
| "There you go, my family's favorite" -N
"Huh, ya' never strike me as a christmas person" -X
"Oh no I hate that song, so I hope you guys not enjoy it as much as I don't" -N
"What?" -X
"Merry holidays and happy christmas" -N
|
| >>516275
>A light tap on the mic can be heard
"Is this thing workin'? are ya' there big not evil CEO?" -X
| >>516720
"Kiss is good at what she does, Stone Free is pretty good too, but she takes some convincing to do anything. Whitesnake has talent, and C-Moon... C-Moon keeps turning the drums inside out, Yoko Taro knows how he does it.
As for my vocals, well... I'll keep that a secret."
| "Well a little mistery always hurt anyone, but people love knowin' there are secrets and stuff behind a person, and since I'm runnin' out of questions I'm gonna bring the big one everyone asks durin' these days, how do ya' spend mega christmas?" -X
|
| >"A public announcement from Radio Wire: We wish you a merry mega christmas and remind you to spend the holidays with family, and not with strangers on the internet!"
"Cali that's a little hurtful" -R
>"B-But strangers on the internet can be considered family too! So spend Mega Christmas with those who make you feel happy!"
| "Big dick is back to work!" -N
>"I didn't know we had another member"
"Oh hurr durr, you guys are lost without me, now put some real music before my ears start turning inside out"-N
| >'All I want for christmas is you' begins playing on live
| "That's not really what I was aiming for but it'll do, now, I would love to have some news but on these days everyone takes a break from killing each other, maybe the weather?" -N
| >"Yes it is currently very cold outside! The streets are full of snow and everyone should definetly be wearing warm clothes"
"Thanks Cali, always on point" -N
| "Now R, you're quite the outsider right?" -N
"Very funny" -R
"What do you think about this weather? I know for a fact you're also quite the talker" -N
| "...These days seem to be the worse for street business because of the lack of people on the street" -R
"..Man I forgot how boring you were, that Sounds exactly like what a simulation game would tell me on the tutorial" -N
| "I kinda agree with you though, I swear the number of street lilims goes waaay down as soon as the first snowflake drops" -N
>"What are street lilims..?"
| "Sex workers Cali, you're not fooling me again with that tone" -N
>California giggled to anyone's surprise
>"Worth the shot"
This thread is permanently archived
| >"RADIO WIRE, RESTABLISHING CONNECTION"
\
>"STATUS: CONNECTED"
\
>"NUMBERS"
>"555-XXXXXX MAIN LINE RAN BY NEIL"
>"545-XXXXXXX SECONDARY LINE RAN BY XII"
>"535-XXXXXX COMPLEMENTARY LINE RAN BY CALIFORNIA"
>"515-XXXXXX 'PRVT' BUSINESS LINE"
\
>"MUSIC, NEWS, EVENTS. 24/7"