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(AD) Lucky Duck self-defense
| > The person stands like they're posing. The camera poorly zooms in before having to zoom back out and focusing with the person standing just a little left of the center of frame.
"THE WORLD Of umm... Glitch City! Glitch City is a dangerous place for all you wannabe runners and Cybe–STREET Samurai. I'm here to help you losers get in shape and learn a thing or two about keeping your neck in one piece!"
> The soft whirring of machinery can be heard shaking around, somehow
| "WE at the um... at this special program for training anyone who's serious about staying alive out there on the streets... We'll teach you the skills that only the finest of survivalists know! Just a few easy payments and uhh... I'm not sure where to go with this? I-i- what do you th– oh we can cut? Oh just cut h–"
>The video abruptly ends with a missing media tag. it seems like it was never properly exported from wherever it was filmed
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| > A video comes into focus. It looks like it was filmed inside a warehouse somewhere. A figure dressed in tactical gear is standing slightly left of an X on the floor. Their eyes are uncovered but they have a weird neck gaiter on.
> The video isn't fully in focus and a bunch of noise can be heard, as if someone is messing with it trying to get it to work. A highly digitized voice cuts through
"Are we filming? You have it set right? P-put it on– yeah put it on the thing, thanks"